Trinity WIP (there's something on post 467)

I love the demo :heart_eyes::heart_eyes:.
But Olliver noooooooo :sob::sob::sob:

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Heads up, more tragedy to come and more death fag to be triggered. Jk!!!

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let me guess people how are on friend list are not safe like olliver well shit should get start worry for Milo life how he is are gunner other side of the ship there good chance to shot him dead if you are luck :cold_sweat:

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Everyone is not safe including the ros.

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Heyy mate! So I’ve read the wip and my dreams for a story about modern navy (I got tired of the pirate genre somewhat) has come true! It’s quite short but I know that this will be a great wip soon enough! However, no offense but you may need to improve on your writing. I’m assuming that English isn’t your strong suit but I don’t mind since I still get the basic concept on whats happening. I believe you may need to put more descriptions on the events that is happening in the game (ie: When we choose to be with Milo when we are suspended, we can put more details like what time it is and how the house or room looks.) as it gives more info and much more interest on what’s going on. Also regarding the ships, the battlcruiser has a much more powerful armament than the battleship, which would have been the other way around. Battlecruisers are supposed to have a lighter armament than a battleship, but more accurately, the Trinity battlecruiser is considered a fast battleship instead. Also, you may need to update the combat menu to use the percentage method of stats rather than numbers but its up to you whether it’s by numbers or percentage. The lore and plot still needs to be more developed, but considering that this is a new wip, it’s OK. Also found these typos:


Friends

Gonna

Replied

Just

uses short sleeves instead.

Minutes

The options below the Battleship don’t seem to have the matching names with the ones states in the Trinity reference.

Abs
Overall, please develop this further as I am looking forward to this a lot :slight_smile:

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Tnx!! I’ll work on it, I really need feed back like this cause I’m new to writing. Hahaha

Also tnx for telling about battleship and battlecruisers I haven’t done my homework well it seems.

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I don’t think anyone pointed this out but if you have a female Mc and go to lucka’s house her sister yells to there mom that luka brought home a man

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Tnx

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so we look like guy :joy_cat: in little girl eyes

It got fixed when I played yesterday

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Looks good so far, I do look forward to reading more, I do like the concept.

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love to now how will magic will play in ship combat

Your barely going to use it really, cause “technically” speaking your not a mage its more of myra/milo and Vivaldi’s job. I’m not saying you don’t have magic I’m only saying your not mage.

But one of the endings I have in mind will rely a lot on magic, so maybe you can let loose on that part of the story.

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Magic and modern naval combat is very interesting

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I like to now unsafe are friends and romance choice not safe like are there not safe by are choice or by plot

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This is awesome, it would be nice too see more like this, and more military based COG in general.

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Seriously, moare! More of this and things like this .:sweat_smile:

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So I wasn’t able to answer your question cause I was trying to meet my quota of atleast half of chapter this week,

But if you’re wondering if the ros are safe by plot or choice, it’s by plot. it’s 2 out of 4 endings I have in mind where certain ros will die but I might change it. Oh but you can save the others on the other ending

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so god is a dick :face_with_monocle:

Wait, what? Are you referring to Vivaldi or Dawn?

Cus if it’s Vivaldi then You’re not entirely wrong, but he’s not that much of a dick if you get to know him.

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