Trinity WIP (Update 7/6/2019 chapter3)

Hi guys, so I finally decided to post my work. I’m still new to writing so your feedback is really appreciated also english is not my first language so yeah. Please be gentle with me.

Summary

Long ago the continental war broke out a war of continents against continents, few countries tried to stay out of the war but they are either forced or was attacked, only the kingdom of Eishfield manage to remain neutral with the help of the trinities, every side eventaully call for peace due to lack of resources making them unable to continue the war.

50 years now have passed, every nation that fight each other is now banding together to conquer the little kingdom of Eishfield. You just joined the navy and war is upon Eishfield. It is up to you to protect the waters of Eishfield. A sleeping powerful modern warship is waiting for you to take it’s steer and weigh its anchor.

Oh and you better do a good job because a god is watching you.

To play the demo, go here: https://dashingdon.com/go/4132

5/20/19 update

Theres the chapter two now and some changes on chapter one. Also changed the combat stats to percent and adjusted it a little You guys might wanna restart from chapter one or you’ll be really underpowered. SORRY ABOUT THAT.

update 7/6/2019

Update 7/6/2019

Chapter 3 is up.

Warning

This chapter will either give you cancer, diabetes or just make you cringe, the three happened to me while I was writing this. Also I finally found those repetitions you guys keep on mentioning I hope I found them all.

This also marks the completion of team Eishfield. Hooray :tada:

116 Likes

I’m still playing the demo, but I like it so far. Your English is very fluid :grin:

Some typos

Your heading home from school, anyone can tell your in good mood

“Father your home!”

and now your alone.

“You’re”

Also found this

goto

2 Likes

I love this kind of story one I love sea as kid and 2 how this story made I can make art work on what I like and 3 my family history are people how love be on sea :innocent: so this is best story I have ever read to me can.t wait see how people see in it

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Tnx bro

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Im glad you like it i will do my best for more

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Lack of resources has a tendency to fuel ongoing conflict.

Interesting.

2 Likes

and old pain or anger from both side can can come back

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“So did you commander.” Katherine cut the commander off. “I’m suspending you for you for two weeks for that, that is all your dismiss!” The commander hurry off the ship when Katherine dismisses him.

you for you for

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Ohh cool. I like this. Good job. Also, your English is quite good. Can’t wait for update!

2 Likes

Tnx I’ll do my best

4 Likes

You have a really great idea! I even bookmarked it cause I loved the demo :heart_eyes:

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I have read your work and seen your artwork both are loving well done

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I think mc heartbreak that mc father die now Olliver is dead I think mc my think if he or she get to close to person going to die because of it p.s this my thinking keyport can do what he or she do they like to do to there story I made this because that my feeling if lost people like that

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typos


Watches and gazes


Enjoys


Smirks


Couldn’t and called


IMG_20190505_202011_866
You’re


Has

Also, I wonder if demon lord Vivaldi is also a famous 17th century composer in his free time.
If he is, he doesn’t plunge the world into war, the demon lord dies broke and unloved in Austria.

5 Likes
Some catches

It’s early morning when you here foot step headed for your room. That’s strange Olivia was supposed to get home next week.

Olliver in my case

milo1

milo2

milo3
Milo is male

page

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No he is not I think… Being in the abyss for the rest of his can be boring so maybe he is.XD

Also tnx for reporting the typos.

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Now how will a certain ro will react to this…

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Well i have to say, I’m trilled. I was really hoping for a CYOA on a modern"ish" navy. I like the story so far, I was expecting a choice in the exercising to remember the death of the father. And for asking, while choosing the person to pass time with (I choose Mikaela becouse, god i love shy character ) it took only two time choosing her to get her feel something for the MC, i can understand her having only two choice for a RO becouse she is shy and maybe really pure of hearth, soo the question is this, all the characters will have only two choices for entering their romance “route” or some will be more difficult to get?

3 Likes

You will meet other ros all your crew mates are pretty easy to get but as for the other they will be somewhat hard to get probably…

3 Likes

I really liked what you have. But I have a little problem with the scene where we choose the trynity we prefer. I don’t think you should update the combat page ----> trinity at that time, because we’re not the Captain yet. We’re just contemplating. Well, it’s just my opinion doesn’t have to be taken into account. There’s also some typo and a lot of Repetition. I think you should reread and correct before you move forward or it will accumulate thus becoming more difficult to correct. Anyway, I look forward to the next updates, good luck. :slight_smile:

5 Likes