Or you could put chapters one to two or three for free, then sell the rest (in a bundle) for $3 or $4
@AllenGies
BTW… if I’m not mistaken, you are actually able to play a MP3 file during gameplay, correct? I think I’ve seen stuff like that before on some really rare occasions…
And the Easter Egg should only be triggered if you give the MC the name Allen Gies…
Oh. And somehow my save file is gone.
…those Marshals what killed my brother’’
… … … … … SERIOUSLY!!!
Currently doing a ‘Good Girl’ run and spotted a mistake in the story based stats
“JT Preston: He could care less when you are around.”
And this little exchange after the (female) Marshall decided to turn a blind eye in Chapter 3:
As you look away pointedly, she gives a big grin. “Oh, of course. The Marshal must behave himself, and enforce the law as he sees fit.”
Found a capitalization error
"The six horns Indians are as good as their word and are soon on their way, in peace. "
I’m assuming “…six horns Indians…” should read “…Six Horns Indians…”
Something seems off with this since I never asked Hartigan where the raiders were hiding (Sorry for the huge text dump).
"“And to you with your travels, Marshal.” Baker replies, tips his hat and rides off with Dalton trailing behind.
Hartigan breathes a sigh of relief once they are out of earshot. “That could have gone poorly. Thank you.”
(Honor slightly increased)
Together the two of you watch the cavalry ride off, headed for conflict and glory.
With that, Hartigan heads back to the camp where his gang is already packing things up despite the inclement weather.
“Gray peaks is just too crowded now.” Carrie notes after she returns from saying her good-byes, leans over and gives you a gentle and sisterly hug. “You got my father out of a tight spot. I won’t forget that.”
The cave mouth is a black thing that drinks in the dying sunlight; a dragon’s maw from which sulfurous air drifts out in steamy gouts. The raiders are in there, somewhere, and you doubt they will be willing to come out.
The cave mouth beckons. The tracks from a dozen horses lead straight in. The raiders will be just inside, shaking off the cold and tending their steeds. It will be a gunfight, close quarters and brutal.
Carrie cradles her cloth swathed shotgun, unwilling to let the winter air bite into it even now. There are least two dead men waiting on that double thunderclap.
Dan Schmidt draws your eye. He’s looking at the rocky slopes above as if he’s seen them before. Maybe he has.
Ben Carson brushes a bit of snow off the barrel of his rifle, murmurs something under his breath. "
Found another capitalization issue
“shoot Reginald.” should be “Shoot Reginald.”
I still think when you say “Lets Go” to Carson before riding out to the Central Pacific Railhead in Chapter 8 his response should start “Why not…”
It still says “Sadly, there is no Chapter ten yet.” at the end of Chapter 9.
And finally, the stats:
Miss Caroline Sixkiller:
Traits: Doctor.
Current Companions: Old Dan Schmidt, prospector. Miss Caraway, gunslinger.
Health: Healthy and vigorous.
Wealth: Enough for a week in town.
Honor: Everything I am is bound bound up in word and deed.
Law: Without laws there can be no civilization.
Order: Everything has its place, everything.
Gunfighting: Your hands flash like lightning before your pistols thunder.
Sharpshooting: You know the world best when you see it through the apeture of a scope.
Brawling: With your obsidian war-ax in hand, not many dare approach you.
Riding: There is hardly a riding trick you don’t know.
Survival: The wilderness can be a buffet to those who know what to look for.
Legal Understanding: You could argue a case before the supreme court.
Engineering: There are few firms that could not employ your constructive skills in some capacity.
Explosives: Bridges tremble at your approach.
Persuasion: It isn’t always what you say but how you say it.
Intimidate: People think twice before crossing you.
Stamina: Sleep is a gift that is never wasted on you.
Resolve: When you set your mind to something, you finish it. All of it.
Ben Carson: The two of you are friends.
Dan Schmidt: The two of you are confidantes.
Miss Caraway: The two of you could not be closer if you were a bottle and cork.
JT Preston: He doesn’t mind you being around.
Richard Hartigan: Not met.
The people of Albion Falls: Bishop Hancock has faith in you.
Maria Agustina: She trusts you.
Marshal James: He believes you will do well.
Yiska: His love for you could paint the sky.
I hope it gets accepted! I’ve played through the game a few times and it’s been fantastic. I’m not a huge fan of westerns, but this game still managed to draw me in.
I love the little changes~ I never get board playing this from start to finish. I love that flipping bear.
One last testing run before it’s released:
Various issues:
“Glad to hear your affirmation. I might seem a mite hard, and I am,but I ain’t flickin’ my whip solely on account of needing a tin star out in Lander County. You remember who you killed? That deed what got you here?”
There’s a space missing.
Not sure if I just missed it, but I think after gunning down about half of the Red Ribbon Mining Camp I didn’t get an Law and Order penalty, though it would seem highly appropriate.
A great many prospectors died during the night raid. that means someone is going to be interested in what happened here.
“that” in the second sentence should be written with a capital T.
“I got word that the Red Ribbon mining camp got hit. There were no survivors. Anya and Randall Admunsen…” Preston begins, chokes up. “They… I knew them. Hard bargainers, if only penny wise. They didn’t deserve this. Any of it. God help you if I find out you were involved with anything more than the edges of it.” Somewhere inside the saloon, a guitar strums to life. A raucous chorus rises up, of men looking to wet their throats and others eager to take their gold. Dressed in his finery, The two of you look right at home.
The last sentence seems a bit off (maybe just my impression). There’s also a spacing issue after that part.
When I ignore his comment and instead talk about the feud between the butcher and the Winthrops, he suddenly is his old self again and springs me a coin. While this seems appropriate in the non-massacre playthrough, it doesn’t fit with him being choked up a minute before.
“That’s that then.” Hartigan says, glances to his daughter. “You take care now, Missy. Don’t be getting into trouble you can’t handle.”
“I’d have to sail to China to find that.” Miss Caraway replies.
Just a thought, since I’m Chinese in this playthrough and already in a relationship with Carrie at that point. It would be a nice moment for our Marshal to put in a comment about either taking Carrie there personally and showing her around, or promising to protect her there, or something like that.
After joining up with Hartigan and handing the stagecoach to him (killing Frank Spears in the process), I get this as a description text in the Stats:
"Richard Hartigan: He knows you exist. "
At this point I’m already a member of the Hartigans and Hungry Snake drank a shot with me, so the text doesn’t seem exactly fitting.
“It is good to be welcomed.” Carlos notes coldly. “Now, I will have you name or we shall part on steel terms.”
"It is good to meet you. Marshal Liu Mei Heong Now, I will leave you to converse with my chatty niece.
There’s a dot missing before the “Now”
She opens up the satchel, paws through the little lead pellets and With meticulous care she rolls the little spheres between her fingertips, searching for imperfections.
It’s in the scene where I’m making bullets with Carrie.
Dan shakes his head, keeps back a braying laugh only by the hardest. “Jeff would love that line. I’m going to tell him it when we get back.”
When following the fake Indian raiders and talking about Dinner during the rest with Schmidt.
“Marshal Liu?” Hungry Snake ass incredulously.
“Marshal…” The Woman wonders, raises up her monocle to properly inspect you.
“The… one that Steele was supposed to…” The Man asks softly. He peers at you in surprise, his eyes wandering up and down your form.
“The same.” Hungry Snake notes.
“Introduce us then.” The Woman asks.
“The Woman/Man” are written with a capital T. Not sure if that is correct or not.
“Go on ahead.” Hungry Snake says, “I’ve got more important things to do than hold your head.”
I suppose he means to hold my hand. At least I never heard the saying of holding my head in this sense 
After Chapter 9 there is still the “Sadly, there is no Chapter ten yet” part in the choices.
From the personal epilogue:
The Marshal took a different name, owing to destruction of Preston Springs and the pending charges that stemmed from it. Even so, she was able to secretly reunite with friends that had thought them long dead. Sadly, most of disowned Mei Heong shortly thereafter.
I assume there is an “them” missing.
The general epilogue
Railway:
Though few lives were lost, the resulting work the excavate the passage would take many months and in the interim everything the railroad required had to be laboriously hauled by hand around the mountain. Many considered it a miracle that construction entered Utah by the end of eighteen sixty-seven.
Carrie:
She became the Deputy Marshal for Lander County, and not a head was turned by the little fact that a notorious drunk and brawler, a woman of a wholly intemperate disposition, would be legally wearing a tin-star.
Miss Caraway drank more and more as the years passed and nearly everyone she met suffered for that. Especially those fools who skinned out their pistols against her.
In order to keep her creditors at bay, she returned to banditry and the like, made a great deal of money without a great deal of unnecessary bloodshed.
This doesn’t fit my playthrough since I took Carrie with me to Mexico and established myself there as a Politician with the Uptons help. This was mentioned correctly in my personal epilogue, together with the fact that we prospered afterwards.
During the Legend score:
A dime novel called ‘The Obliteration of Red Ribbon Mining’ was based on rumors concerning a mining expedition that never returned home. A dark figure plots innocent men’s demise with the aid of ‘The Bloody Virgin’ whose voice shatters ears and minds before she feasts upon still-beating hearts.
No one takes the book seriously, but they keep buying it. At the end of the novel, Marshal {last_name} rides in to survey the ruin and bury the bodies. Two Legend points awarded.
And this page comes when I end the game:
TODO Share Link 1, e.g. “Rate this App in the App Store”
TODO Share Link 2, e.g. StumbleUpon
TODO Share Link 3, e.g. Facebook
TODO Share Link 4, e.g. Twitter
And I didn’t see an epilogue for the “most important thing” that Marshal James is protecting for me. I think it deserves one too.
Second part, because the post is too long for one:
Spacing issues:
When approaching Preston Springs for the first time, at the bottom of the page:
Without being prompted, he mumbles a little loudly about how his drunken feet are trying to do him in.
When I ask Schmidt about the Sheriff of the town and he tells me he declined the job:
“Smart.” Carson puts in readily and his friend doesn’t disagree.
Seeing as the post would get to long if I quote the text every time, I’ll just describe most of the scenes:
- When I ask about the Church and the Grand Haven Hotel during Schmidts introduction of the town
- When I’m in the Marshal office and Tumbleweed Jack comes calling
- When I’m going to Preston after receiving his note (finishing my breakfast first)
- During the scene where random guy # 1 get’s thrown out of the saloon by Carrie
- Also when Carrie pours me a drink
- After giving her a thumbs up for not making me clean up the mess of a dead random guy (“That’s what we got a mortician fer.” She notes, tilts head in question. “Don’t we?”)
- When I talk to Preston about a lot for a home (before the first question I can ask him, the part with “As you approach, he gives you a nod. “Marshal. What has you up and about?””)
- In the scene where the butcher prepares for a fight in front of the Evening Star
- In the scene when I ask Schmidt to accompany to investigate the river
- When being guided by Summers up to the Mining Camp (at the instance where Schmidt starts talking about the Indians)
- When meeting the Admunsens for the first time and Terry introduces me as an Indian fighter
- The page after that, when Terry takes off and leaves me with the Admunsens
- Afer that, when I offer my help and want to discuss the problem
- When pulling my irons on the Admunsens (after “Especially after Schmidt starts bellowing for everyone to cease fire.”)
- Afterwards, when talking to Yiska, at two choices (What Tahoma means, what brought him to this camp)
- When talking to the Admunsens after Schmidt took off to dig the graves (and for good)
- The scene afterwards, when I chose the option of “You’re probably wondering why I called you all together today…”, the one after I chose “Let’s not bicker and argue about who did what to whom.” and the one after I want to talk to them about the implications to follow.
- When being confronted by Preston after the massacre at the Mining Camp (when his deputies with the eye-patches take position)
After recommending Sam Pitcavage to be a hired gun:
With that he downs his shot of beer and struts on out the swinging doors of the Evening Star saloon.
A little personal time is never a bad thing. So long as it is in moderation.
A couple of evenings with your Colt Navy revolver kicking in your hand, makes you confident of drawing and hitting your target without pause.
(Gunfighting increased)
(when choosing to practice with my guns at the first interlude)
Yiska tenders over a nod, He rides right up, settles in beside you.
Yiska raises a hand to shade the morning sun, squints out toward the Indian column. “Shoshone. Eastern I’d think. Not Bannocks certainly. Too many women in there. Also, we’re not being shot at.”
When the Indian village passes Preston Springs
The saloons and the hotels are the only ones to hold even a flicker of lantern light, and that no doubt because JT Preston is an optimist.
Dan shakes off a bit of snow that has gathered about his shoulders, eyes the Mother-Lode Saloon in passing. “Hey, Ben, I know you don’t like whiskey and all…”
Chapter eight, at the beginning.
In these parts there’s a " missing:
“I shall acquire you a patch so that no one notices your troubled lens.” Preston offers absently. Wells-Fargo will bring it next month."
(during the arrangement of a partnership with Preston)
Yeah, you’re under arrest."
(after the shooting competition with Carrie)
In the choices where you can choose your name, there was a " missing at “I am Miss…”
When they link up, this nation will have the first ever trans-continental rail-line.
He spares you a brief rise of eyebrow, "and I don’t have to tell you that there’s a lot of moneyed interest in seeing that completed. […]
At the end of the first sentence.
"It starts one winter’s night when the chill dipped down low and the favorite cow of our well-known butcher pushed her way inside his house to get out of the cold. Now the butcher was passed out drunk from drinking two whole buckets of beer the night before, so he can’t tell Cain from Abel.
At the end of the sentence.
"Of course you do. Yiska notes, glances slowly about the smoldering camp. “I am fully willing to bear witness.”
What kind of bargain did you have with the Bishop?"
What’s so special about the stagecoach, besides the obvious size and such?"
What exactly is the cargo?"
(These are the choices when the stagecoach pulls up in Preston Springs)
"Nelly… she didn’t remember what happened, only that she got to running and got away. The Indians must’ve been too interested in looting to worry about scalping. But somehow, despite having nothing, she got here to Preston Springs.
At the end of the sentence.
“You going to be here all winter?” Carrie asks her father."
In this instance it’s one to much at the end.
Reginald returns to the discussion with renewed vigor. "First South Carolina seceded. Then more states followed. War. terrible war began and my father’s holdings, every train, track, trestle and car were seized to help fight it. And methodically, each piece of the same became consumed by wear, by battle and by disaster.
At the end of the sentence.
Hi @AllenGies,
Questions/concerns/items for review:
“I’d say its highly irregular, not illegal, mister Lawyer.” A soft scrape of boots is heard on the scaffolding above, followed by the whisk of an all too familiar rope being coiled up.
***Q: No gender has been picked yet at this point and I was gonna be a female.
***Q: This whole scene/exchange interests me & I wanted to get your take on it so I could understand it better. Why is Schmidt acting like he doesn’t know Yiska? Is it as simple as he doesn’t recognize him since Yiska was a boy then? And why doesn’t Yiska say his original name or his fathers or tribes name to jog Schmidt’s memory? Is this just part of the mystique of Yiska?
“He would be. We know each other well.” Yiska says, gathers a little slack in his chains. “But while he may be upset, he will not so much as step on a toe of a friend he is visiting even to help another friend. No, he always tries to steer a course between the tentacles of Scylla and the waters of Charybdis.”
Schmidt sidles up beside you as the curses roll out. “He’s… well, he’s definitely got his dander up in Shoshone, but the name Yiska is Navajo. I don’t know why he’d be called that; usually you only see that sort of thing when they’re adopted or else committed a crime so vile that they have to be given a name to wear.”
“You are suspicious?”
“Interested.” Schmidt corrects softly. “He doesn’t seem the sort to have set a horse on fire or anything like that.”
Schmidt returns to the tent, an angry flush about his features. Yiska limps on over to you, glances at the mountain man at your shoulder. “Hello again, Mister Schmidt.” “We know each other?” Schmidt asks, peers closely at the Indian. “You used to come into our camp and tell stories.” Yiska explains. “I was younger then, had a different name.” “Yeah?”
“Half.” Anya counters, and though you try to talk her up, she refuses to rise. At last, you are forced to strike the deal and she turns to her husband. “Pay the half-fee. This one is worth it.” Randall passes over the promised bits of gold, tosses his head toward the back of the camp. “This way.”
***Q: I got Anya & Randall to pay me 1/2 upfront for taking care of their “Indian problem”. I don’t see that my wealth stat increased though. Should it?
“Yeah?” Preston considers, cracks a faint smile. “That’s almost a disappointment, almost. But I’ll sit you at my table any day.” Frank steps over, “Well, its been a pleasure working with you Marshal. I hope we’ll see each again soon.” With that, he heads toward the Mother-Lode saloon and a bucket of beer.
***Q: Frank did not work with me, I went to Echo Canyon by myself and kicked their butts before they even had the chance to attack the stagecoach.
***Q: This section is off because I never met the Indian captive at the camp & had not met Yiska yet . I meet him later when I am found by the warband:
The Admunsens are incredulous that you would abruptly depart, especially without agreeing to do as they all but demanded. Anya dogs your step all the way to your horse and as you ride out, Randall blisters your back with curses in two tongues. They would no doubt have done more if they knew that you would try to meet with the Indians. And so, you ride. Following Yiska’s directions you swing northward after leaving the camp. A maze of valleys and ravines lie ahead and the going is slow. Worse, there is no sign of an Indian warband. Not yet anyway.
***Q: This section is off because I never met the Indian captive at the camp & never met Yiska, I destroyed the camp all by my lonesome:
There is no telling where Yiska went with the other Newe. Far away is a good bet. He’d probably say no to you anyway, given that you had that bad start.
***Q: I had already met Cameahwait because he tried to count coup with me & introduced himself then:
Step by step, you creep froward in the still silence, reach the wall without so much as an owl giving a hoot. Yiska allows a young brave named Cameahwait lead the warband and that same named Newe is the first to slip silently over the wall. They spread swiftly through the camp.
Epilogue: The Marshal would be tested again while attempting to escort a wagon loaded with gold to the Utah border. Only after an intense battle with the Hartigan gang did she prevail.
***Q: Actually, I fought them at Echo Canyon & beat their butts before they could even attack the stagecoach.
Typos:
Yeah, we’re family." Larry replies, prepares to pay your fine. Jeff does the same.
Make sure the fines is (*are) properly documented.
Pocket the fines.
Surprised Cameahwait:
With a terrible roar, the same that drove the grizzle (*grizzly, though I would scare of grizzle too! : ) ) off, you strike. The Indian recoils, gives up his spear and raises his hands.
Step by step, you creep froward in the still silence, reach the wall without so much as an owl giving a hoot. Yiska allows a young brave named Cameahwait (*missing to) lead the warband and that same named Newe is the first to slip silently over the wall. They spread swiftly through the camp.
Talking with Little Boots:
“What? That’s it?” She asks.
“Also, go do something else before you get yourself killed.”
“Your (*You) should also figure out what you want from this life and take it.”
“He was supposed to step into an empty pair of shoes? No, boots of course.” Reginald says, “though I imagine…” Regina ever so subtly kicks at her brother’s leg. boots, but you were already wearing those." Reginald notes.
*Something amiss with this section here.
The siblings fire and a bullet nicks your shoulder; a small thing just now.(Health very slightly reduced) Then the firing stop (*stops) and you find yourself alone.
Chap 10: Iowa is all scrub and green until you get near the roils of the Mississippi river, then the undulations of soil are lined with cultivated corn as far as they (*the) eye can see.
Epilogue: Your slaying of Denny Baso, the lead drover for the Central Pacific railroad, is an oft repeated tail (*tale) of warning told and retold to the rail-men of California. Two legend points awarded.
just got to the end and it was beautiful! =D>
@AllenGies,
Don’t know if you’ve seen this before but in this scene ‘polaxe’ should be ‘poleaxe’: Steele looks like he’s been hit by a polaxe. Only after repeated calls for calm, does some measure of order return.
Edit: Also, during the winter convo with Maria about the Aeneid, the choice for “Wait. The Aeneid is a lie?” has Aeneid spelled incorrectly.
Edit part 2: “I like that. If we’re quite enough, they’ll never know we slipped inside until it is too late.”
Quite needs to be Quiet.
Just finished it again, I love it still. But one thing, @AllenGies, I wanted to mention… 1st: The Tin Star song is a bit out of tune when using a Doc, 2nd: Who again made you use Carrie instead of Ms Caraway? 
I take a day off and there is a deluge of mail…
@JackHerge -“You seemingly screwed the ‘‘you@example.comSignout’’ thingy up…”? My brain can’t track this quote.
Also, ‘the Marshals what killed my brother’… is that line too accurate a depiction of western-speak? I went softly on a lot of that but the mash up of words still exists in places…
@FortunesFaded - If you keep flattering me the quote is going to be ‘the ego has landed’. It is only when I am absolutely certain that I have written the next great thing that I can be certain I have written absolute dreck.
@jfp2012 -I’m glad you liked it. Not being a fan but being drawn in is exactly the audience I hoped to attract. With luck the cover art will help with that as well.
AngelOfTheBroken -The Bear was fun to write. I had just finished adding in the alternate fate of the Red Ribbon mining company in chapter six when I thought, you know, I should add the bear from chapter three back in during the next chapter.
I tried to find a justification, went with it being captured and started writing up its description as a terribly abused beast shackled and restrained. That is when the bear looked up at me from the page and said ‘I want vengeance.’
I set about writing that, the MC just turning it loose into the camp and then ask it ‘would you let someone ride you down into the camp, you know, as an ally?’
‘Hell yes.’
That is when I reached over, grabbed a writing pad and wrote down ‘RIDE_THAT_BEAR’!
@Nasdaxow -That’s some good stuff for me to fix. I’m kind of surprised about your character’s relatively low relationship with Hartigan after all that you did. I think I need to revisit that chapter and add in a few influence bonuses for siding with him.
@piggleywinks - More good stuff to muse. Especially the part with Schmidt and Yiska apparently not knowing each other. See, originally, they didn’t know each other in chapter three, but then like most things involving romance the back-story developed more than I had considered.
@TheCourier -Thanks. Did you have a heroic Marshal or something else?
@Zed -Glad you noticed those bits. Especially the Aeneid.
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Commander all the horses have been stolen.
Stolen you say?
Do we have a bear?
Yes but-
RIDE THAT BEAR!
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Oh wow, this has to be the best game on this website, hands down. The ending was fantastic and gave an excellent sense of closure. I’ll definitely purchase and rate 5 stars when the game comes out.
Also, (I apologize if the question has been asked already) did you have any specific resources about the Western history and genre that you would refer to when placing details?
Anyways, I found a few errors on my play through that I didn’t see listed on the previous pages:
On the Stats page the Honor stat is at 100: Honor: Everything I am is bound bound up in word and deed. There’s a repeated word.
In the Epilogue for the Marshal: Soon enough the Marshal’s true name was cleared and they was reunited with friends that had thought them long dead. It should be “were”.
While gathering evidence against Steele, the option of speaking to Yiska repeats the choice of talking to Tumbleweed Jack if I chose the option to talk to Jack first.
Doing my final ‘bad girl’ run and spotted a mistake in the epilogue:
"That led to a period of consolidation and entrenchment that grounded Sixkiller’s claim firmly in law. with an Indian lawyer named Yiska. "
Either the full stop between law & with or a comma.