@Audien There are those sorts of books.
I can't suggest any, because they're not generally what I like to read. I like escapism in my books. I mean, Perry Moore's Hero has a gay protagonist, who's got to deal with his sexuality, as well as being a super-hero. In Vintage by Steve Berman, the protagonist is gay, and can see ghosts because he attempted suicide.
But, for me, I don't like reading realistic fiction, I like my escapism, stories with happy (or at least satisfying) endings, where no one dies.
I think a lot of Young Adult books are empowering, showing stories of teens who can make a difference. The amount of dystopian books, well you could say that our own world is something like a dystopia, but at least in those books they have a chance to make a difference, to change things. I even think, well stereotypical washboard abs guy, isn't a bad fantasy either. He's generally not the entire point.
Speaking of which, note how in movies, the woman's the one who usually serves that purpose? But in a lot of the young adult books, you get female protagonists, with the guy being in that role.
In The Hunger Games, for example, Katniss does struggle with real life problems. Her mother's got depression, and Katniss is forced to deal with that. She grieves the death of her own father, while she also has to try and hold her family together.
Even Divergent, Tris is dealing with parental expectations, and whether she should do what she knows will make them happy, or if she should carve out a future for herself and take her own path.
Edited To Add: I suppose I've missed the most obvious fantasy story, with a gay protagonist, Mercedes Lackey's Last Herald Mage trilogy, which I'm not sure if it counts as young adult. I certainly read it in my teens. In that Vanyel struggles with his sexuality. There's a great deal of prejudice against both him, and other gay characters in the books, and also places where there's less discrimination. Vanyel does at least find love, and acceptance from one family memory, and deals with difficult relations with other members of his family. However I do have so many problems with that book series.