The Wight King(WIP - REVAMPED) Current update: beginning of chapter 2 added (02/27/2019)

science-fantasy
adult-fiction

#539

Not bad but a bit cliché. How about a former king or queen (or maybe even a powerful general) that were fighting a loosing battle against a more powerful enemy, resorted to dark magic to save themselves, their people and kingdom but at the cost of their own lives and souls? Now the Wight King/Queen wanders the land as a restless undead and cursed to boot. It gives them a more tragic background whose intention was a good one but raises the question about whether or not the end justified the means. Was it worth it in the end? And was their kingdom saved with their sacrifice like they had hoped… or not?


#540

How about an alien from space? or how bout an undead cookie knight


#541

I’ll take the alien. Nothing screams “unique” as a big UFO in a medieval setting! :stuck_out_tongue:


#542

Will we be able to train/spar with our companions and form bonds with them since we might be evil to the rest of the world but to our own people we are loved sort of like Dr doom and lathveria


#543

That sounds even more cliche to me… though mostly the only things that don’t seem cliche to me is when it’s completely outlandish to the setting.

Clearly the Wright King was made from the rage of all the doors busted down by “heroes” and he now seeks vengeance on heroes and punishes weak doors.

Another reminder I’ll love all the undead.

Also I’l want to bug the others about teaching me how to fight…


#544

I admit that’s a bit cliché like ivoryowl said. The Wight King’s death has more complicated circumstances, necromancy can raise the dead (though the stronger the corpse, the harder and the costlier it is to reanimate) but I don’t think it can corrupt a body in the sense you mean it, it changes the nature of life force over time though. Anyway, the Wight King isn’t raised by outside influences, so no.

Much better. The cursed martyr story is still a bit cliché somehow.
Though there’s nothing bad with clichés, you can do very good stories with cliché elements as long as it’s done well. It’s still better than doing something original but shitty.
Since Wight king’s death is still a bit editable, maybe I’ll inspire myself a bit from that.

Ohohoh…
The irony.

That’s now the canon version.


#545

I knew it. The Borgia are planning something, time to call Ezio and assemble the Order.


#546

Just replayed and saw the new scene with the sword graveyard and damn did that scene help with the whole “evil Rose Quartz” thing I’m going for, but now I cant help but think of this when you describe the swords on the ground

God damn it, I’m too Steven Universe trash for this


#547

Made a small update today, so that you don’t have to wait for too long. More content on the way. I’ll try to do another update by the end of the week.


#548
  • I saw flashes of steel colliding in a rain of sparks, as warcries resounded against the mountains, I saw blood falling like rain,

  • war cries

  • She strided toward me confidently, despite that there wasn’t anything threatening in her stance, I could sense she was displeased with my presence here. She stopped just out of lunge reach, and eyed me up and down. Seemingly unimpressed she said “I guess you are the one responsible for this?”, she said pointing her finger at the tainted ground,“I don’t know how you did it but you better turn it back to how it was before, this is a sacred place not a training ground for apprentice sorcerer.” she said frowning at me, making her annoyment clear. She kept staring at me that way for some time but suddenly something changed in her eyes, they opened wide in surprise, as she took a step toward me leaning as if to examine me closer “You are deceiptively strong, your aura is incredible.” she said, it was my turn to be surprised. That was the closest thing to ‘friendly’ I had tonight. Though something bothered me about what she said.

  • strode, annoyance, deceptively

  • “I assume by aura you mean the red light that appeared around me earlier?”, she cocked her head to the side but still nodded, she had a nice face though it seemed stuck with a neutral expression. “Wait, you don’t know about auras? Meaning it must have awakened not long ago. You must be the one that made the fireworks over there.” she said nodding toward the direction of the place I managed to escape from. “You’re desceiptively strong” she remarked “Now that I watch your aura with care, I can see you’re very powerful, and that you caused such a vibration when you awoke only comfirms it. I could feel the full force of this ripple across the spiritual plane and I think many others did too.”

  • confirms deceptively

  • After these words she turned her back to me and walked toward a bush of dark roses. She crouched near and reached an hesitant hand toward them. She cupped one in her hand and bringed it closer to her eyes. It made for a strangely poetic scene, the young pretty lady rising again, bathing in the moonlight, bearing a dark flower in her hand looking lost in thought. Though her clothes didn’t exactly fitted to the scene. She wore an elegant leather armor that hugged her form and followed her every movements under a tailored leather coat reaching the back of her knees, with a segmented breastplate protecting her chest and doing surprisingly little noise. It must have been done the same way my armor was.

  • brought

  • After a few seconds of examining the flower, she delicately replaced it where it was. And turned to me again, walking back to me, only to get past me actually. She stopped and crossed her arms. “How?” she whispered before turning her face on the side on the side to speak to me “It’s incredible, I’ve never seen something like that before. What did you do? Why did you do it? How?” she seemed angry, no rather annoyed, I guessed she must’ve been the kind that doesn’t like to be left in the dark. “What I did? I didn’t do anything. It just suddenly happened.” I tried to defend my case, but it was useless. “Do I look like that much of an idiot? The plants didn’t suck the life out of themselves to replace it with corrupted undeath!”, I was stunned by her words and her accusative tone. Was I really responsible for this? “That’s impossible! I’ve no such powers!”, I almost shouted, I didn’t understood what happened though it didn’t meant I would let myself be accused of something I didn’t do. “You seem… sincere, but if you do it means we have a big problem there.” at that I raised my eyebrow in surprise “You can’t control your powers, and you risk hurting others or… upsetting the natural order with them.” she said deadspan serious.

  • deadpan

  • “If it isn’t too much to ask I’d like you to start making actual sense. I’m a bit lost as no one bothered explaining me anything.”

  • to me anything or anything to me

  • She stared at me with a stern but not unfriendly look. “I understand, and I will.” she said, “But now is hardly the time to sate your curiousity.” she casted a look at the dent on my armor made by Asterius’ sword “First we need to get to a safe place. Follow me, I’ll lead you to a place you can rest, not like you’ve anywhere else to go since the templars will be hunting you.” she said with a smug look in her eyes. “Come quickly, I’d like to get there before the sun rises.” she says, before breaking into a full sprint toward the forest in the direction of the mountains towering afar above the treess’ tops. She ran fast, faster than any human could. Though, slower than me it seems. I decided to follow her, she had answers, and I needed that badly. I rushed in after her, quickly stomping past her, catching the grin on her face as she picked up her pace even more. Leaving me behind. I didn’t have time for such childish games, but decided to play along anyway, it’d enable me to figure out how fast she really is “If you want to play that way, I’ll gladly indulge. And show you your place.” I said as I rocketed onward with her into the forest’s heart. Once again I was running, though this time I had a guide, and a goal. Finally a safe place to stop at, and think about all that happened. Though I was unsure whether I should trust this woman or not. She seemed to know a awful lot of things. Even about what happened barely an hour ago. Whether I can trust her or not doesn’t matter that much though, she’s dangerous like any who have knowledge, but if she knows a place I’ll be relatively safe from the templars, chosing against following her is not option.

  • curiosity, trees’ (maybe use canopy?) , choosing

  • As we ran, I was able to have a better look at her. She was a lot smaller than me, about 1,70 meters tall, she had dark brown hairs pulled into an high ponytail reaching her neck flyinh over the gusts of wind caused by our speed. She had green eyes filled with calculating intents, I could see that as she was constantly throwing glances my way. A little thin pale scar ran from under her eyes to her nose bridge, over her pale complexion. The way she dressed indicated some kind of fighter. A duellist maybe? She’s dressed well enough to be perfectly at her place in a court, the thin long blade at her left hip, the daggers, the gracefull way she moved. All of this indicated a duellist. And I think that’s all she’s hiding under that coat.

  • flying, graceful, duelist


#549

Thank you. I’m gonna correct the typos as soon as I can.


#550

So the sword is a bastard sword? Or is it more artorias’ greatsword from dark souls?


#551

About as long. But I think I made the bastard à bigger one because people wanted à bigger sword.
And when I think about it, there’s no point having à shorter sword if you can weild à bigger one as effectively and quickly.


#552

So fume ultra greatsword sized?


#553

I guess the Wight King should try not to engage in combat in small corridors or places with low ceilings


#554

Space is not a problem when you’re strong enough to cut through the walls.
The trouble is to not hit anything that support the structure.


#555

oh god, the Wight King is gonna be THAT boss in every video game that you have to fight near the support pillars so the entire room falls on top of their heads


#556

It’d probably only make them mad.

Good enough summary.

People learnt their lessons anyway, they made big rooms so that people wouldn’t break the vases or tear the paintings while fighting. Leave the corridors and other tight spaces for the peons and the cannon fodder of your army.


#557

well, when you live in a fantasy world you have to learn how to design boss rooms, otherwise you’re just gonna have to rebuild the whole place every time a new ancient evil or hero of justice shows up


#558

Made me remember about Ganondorf, where that guy found all those minions and castles after centuries of peace anyway? And how he designs his dungeons so that i can die in the most annoying and farthest away from the respawn traps possible.