The "Why Are You (Feeling Emotion)" Thread


#1313

I don’t know about any businesses around here that would pay for tuition so I’ll have to look that up. My school is really small so it doesn’t have actual dorms, it has some sort of system with a few of the apartment complexes in the surrounding area. It’s in the fancy, expensive part of town so the apartments seem pretty nice from what I’ve seen and there’s a lot of businesses around there, plus there’s the jobs on campus which I don’t remember all of the benefits of at the moment, beyond convenience. The apartments are about a 20 minute’s walk away from campus at most and the rent is paid with tuition for each semester, so student housing would be the best option

Even if legally I don’t have to stay here, my mom would try and talk me out of moving out so it’s just going to be a huge pain to try and figure out some sort of compromise. I’ve been going through a lot lately so I’ve just been constantly exhausted, both emotionally and physically, and plus I can’t drive so trying to find a job right now isn’t exactly a good idea for me. I’m thinking if I get a job during the summer/late spring and/or if I get my driver’s license soon I’ll have a better time talking her into letting me check out student housing at least


#1314

@princecatling I believe Cajun has you covered for the overarching part of your dilemma…now for the specific part about your mother making you dye hair when you should be doing homework.

I can see how hard you tried to do that dye job right…and that’s your problem. :laughing: What, do you want your mother to ask you to do MORE things you don’t want to do/can’t do and/or don’t have the time to do? :smile:

You need to fail at these tasks, and fail BADLY. Make yourself seem so incompetent that your mother will NEVER ASK AGAIN. Believe me, if that kid’s hair looked bad enough, you’d never have to do it a second time. I’ve gotten out of snow-shoveling almost entirely this way…by acting so incompetent and complaining so much that everyone decides it’s just not worth it.

Besides, you can use the time you’ll save by not putting actual effort into whatever to do your work. :smile:


#1315

It was just some kid I didn’t even know though, and even if it was someone I knew and didn’t like, I really wouldn’t want to do something like that to them :confused: The kid was maybe a bit rude at times but she still wouldn’t have deserved to be punished for something my mom did

And plus it’s one thing to like maybe draw something (non permanent) badly or like burn food or something, and it’s another thing entirely to ruin something growing out of another living human’s head so that they’ll have either potentially spend like $40-50 to cut off or just live with a terrible dye job that other kids will probably make fun of until it’s dyed over

And plus with bleach, if it’s done badly enough it could just make the hair break off entirely somewhere


#1316

@princecatling Mmm…I guess I didn’t think about it that way, about how the kid would be affected. I mean, it would be pretty hilarious to me…but I guess it WOULD suck majorly for them. Especially if they care about their hair overmuch. I didn’t really think about that.

And your explanation of “how other people feel” reminds me very much of my own mother’s lectures to me as a kid.

So, I’m sorry, anonymous kid from far away. :slight_smile: I really wasn’t trying to knowingly set you up for misery and bullying.


#1317

Have you ever tried saying no and hold your ground to no because you have other more important things to do. What is the worst she could do to you for saying no and actually doing your job of being a student.


#1318

She listens maybe half the time when I do. Under other circumstances I would try, but this time she dropped the baking bit on me after she’d already told her friend and her friend’s kid that I’d do it and the hair dye bit when the two of them were standing right in front of my and put me in a really awkward and uncomfortable position where I didn’t feel like I was able to say no to it

She’s actually been a little bit better lately about letting me know about plans than she has been in the past, but she still pulls stuff like this sometimes which is really annoying


#1320

I did it! Today’s appointment was about rebuilding a broken tooth so it was quite intense but I got through it. The dentist and dental nurses* were incredibly kind and patient and so good at helping me stay present (I expected at best I’d dissociate and at worst I’d flashback but neither happened). I need to make two more small appointments and now that I’ve done this I feel really good about going back there, although my mouth hurts a bit.

*Are they called nurses? I don’t know for sure but they said they weren’t dentists.


#1321

In the states they are “Dentist Assistants” for the most part.


#1322

In Serbia they’re called “sisters”.


#1323

That makes sense. In my state it turns out we have Dental Nurses and Dental Assistants so I’m probably going to have to ask them next time.

Is that related to the history of nuns volunteering in healthcare? I like how it makes them sound less like strangers and more like family.


#1324

I actually have no idea. I tried Googling it, but couldn’t find the answer. It certainly makes sense. But yeah, here and all across ex-Yugoslavia, if it’s a female nurse it’s a “medical sister” or just “sister” and if it’s a male nurse it’s a “medical technician”. But the latter is very rare I think, I’ve never in my life come across a medical technician.


#1325

Men aren’t called medical brothers? That’s a missed opportunity there, or alternatively women not being called technicians is the missed opportunity. I guess it depends on which title you prefer.


#1326

If it were the United States, I’d imagine those titles would have long been changed, kinda like “stewardess” being changed into “flight attendant”. Here, people don’t really give a crap, to put it bluntly. Chances are, if you’re a male nurse here, that you’ll probably be addressed as “sister” or maybe even “brother”, because male nurses are so rare that many people (including myself until recently) don’t even know what they are called.


#1327

i’m bizarrely amped up and i’m not sure why. i think it might be bc i’ve been promoting my WIP interactive fiction so much and now i’m just vibrating and on edge to see responses? dunno.

it’s mildly unpleasant though. i want to concentrate and work, damn it.


#1328

There’s a very particular feeling in the space between putting work out there and hearing the response from the audience, isn’t there? I hope you can find pleasure in it as well!


#1329

So I’ve recently come to realize that when you start thinking “Do I like him as a friend or do I like like him?” it is already too late for you

So I met this guy through my other friends a while ago and so I don’t even know him very well, not that I wouldn’t like to get to know him, I’m pretty sure I’ve been developing a crush on him which felt pretty unexpected for me

I’ve talked to him, both online and in person before, but suddenly because of this being around him makes me feel super nervous and self conscious and everything and it’s just a lot to handle. I know he’s gay but I don’t know if he’d be into a trans or nonbinary guy so that just makes me even more nervous

I’ve never dated before and I’ve liked people in that sense only a handful of times before so the possibility of getting rejected scares me and also the possibility of not being rejected, no matter how slim of a chance I think it is, might scare me even more because I’m really awkward and don’t know what I’m supposed to do in that type of situation

He’s a couple years ahead of me so I don’t share any classes with him or anything and I’ve only hung out with him in person a few times this semester and sometimes he’d go to school events that I’d most likely miss because I can’t usually stay long after class and he’d post a snapchat in the group chat or something and I’d feel like “Shit I wish I was there” but also now the thought of being around him gives me anxiety :weary:


#1330

Just be ready and follow your heart. If you don’t try you fail by default. Also be ready for success in case you find it.


#1331

I’m worried as hell and tired. I have 7 cats and all of them are sick. Two are mostly healed (but unfortunatelly, one of them has escaped from home today and I’m pretty worried if she will come back at night so we can give her the last medicine dosage), 3 are the “average” sick and 2 are in a critical condition. One of the critical condition, Taiga, already has breathing troubles so it concerns me she’ll get a pneumony or something like that… The other is the younger one and he doesn’t eat cat food, so it’s hard to give something that can keep him strong, specially because his throat seems to be hurting so he can’t eat.
It’s painful not only to see them like that when in a normal day they’d be sleeping in my lap, trying to enter the fridge and playing… It’s also painful the process to give them the medicine. It’s a pain to give pills to cats, it’s so hard and they seem to suffer a lot. One of my cats could have killed my sister because she scratched my sister’s neck while she was holding her to give her the medicine. We had to pay out even more money to get an injection medicine, it was impossible to give her pills. The medicine doesn’t heal them, just cut the symptoms a little but it just doesn’t seem to be working with Taiga and Frajola, the other critical condition cat.

I’m happy Rajinha (one of the mostly healed cats) came back home because she went missing for 4 days and she was already sick. But it’s HER fault my other cats are sick, because she’s the one who spend most time wandering outside and she was the one who brought the illness home to my other cats that stay home all the time. So I can’t help but feel angry at her for it.

It’s been very tiring to take care of them, especially because I have to do it alone from morning until 6 PM, because that’s when my mom and sister come back home. The windows and door need to stay closed so my other 2 wanderer cats can’t escape, so it’s hot and breathless in here.
I’ll go with my sister to a Comic Con this friday, we’ve been looking forward to it since April. But I just don’t see how we’re gonna relax and have fun there knowing how my cats are, and even worst, relax leaving my mom to take care of them by herself for a whole day. I really, really hope they get better until friday.
Of course, it if we put aside other stressful things I’m living right now. I’ve been through heavy crap, especially because I used to live with a drunk father for 17 years, but this is being the worst December of my life so far.


#1332

I’m numb.

It’s a defensive mechanism, you see. The human mind has this thing where it really doesn’t want to feel stressed. My mind doesn’t want to think about my steadily declining financial situation, or about the fact that it seems like I live in an empty house all the time. It doesn’t want to come to terms with feelings of inadequacy I’ve pushed aside but never really dealt with. It doesn’t want to deal with my estrangement from my family, who still love me, but whom I don’t want to contact because of all the distress they’ve put me through. My mind’s aware that I really have ywo settings: off, and full blast.

And it doesn’t want to go into full blast. It knows what happens then.

So yeah. I’m numb.


#1333

I hope things get better for you, that sounds rough. Just thought I’d share my method of giving cats pills, not sure how useful it’ll be to you or anyone else, but it worked for me. What I’d do is sit my cat on my lap, then cover it in a blanket wrapping my arms around just above it’s front paws. Then I’d hold open it’s mouth whilst someone else put the pill in it’s mouth, then I’d shut it’s mouth until it swallowed. Hope that helps someone, and hope things improve for you :slight_smile: .