The "Why Are You (Feeling Emotion)" Thread


#1306

Tuckered out but super happy. My dog was very sick (she has pancreatitis) but now she’s on the mend and putting a bit of weight back on. The staff at the local vet clinic were so wonderful that today I need to figure out a way of thanking them beyond saying thanks since I did that a lot already.

Edit: I remembered that I made an appointment to see a dentist tomorrow so I’m also anxious but proud of myself for finally taking care of this because I had been putting it off for ages.


#1307

Good luck applying to doctorate programs, but I know how that road can be really rocky, especially if you have a need for a lot of external validation. Don’t hesitate to ask for support or PM me through this process, or if you want someone to talk to who has been through it. What discipline are you going into?


#1308

Thank you so much! I really appreciate it. I’m going for Clinical Psych, specializing in Forensic or Family and Child Therapy depending on the institution I end up at.


#1309

So I’m really annoyed at my mom right now because last night at like midnight when I was literally about to go to bed because I was exhausted, she told me I was teaching her friend’s kid how to make macarons and I didn’t even get a say in it. She keeps saying “oh it’s so easy you’ll have so much fun” but making them is really hard and stressful and I’ve only gotten them right once and she’s never gotten them right before herself

And when her friend and her kid got there, neither of them knew anything about this plan and instead, apparently I was supposed to dye her kid’s hair which I had ZERO idea about so I had to go out and buy more bleach and potentially ruin some stranger’s hair because I’m not a professional and I’ve only bleached my hair twice before and I have really short hair so there’s not even much for me to lose if anything goes wrong

And also, after knowing me for less than three hours, the kid (who’s a in high school, by the way) asked me, a broke college student who can barely afford to subscribe to the programs I need for class, to buy her Thirty Whole Dollars worth of League of Legends points. Like even if I didn’t have to worry about how much I could spend on lunch for the week, who even does that???

And my mom keeps telling me that all this is so great and that I’m having so much fun like I’m not even able to think for myself or anything. I’m just really pissed and stressed and I have class tomorrow and I have homework that’s due tomorrow I haven’t been able to work on because I’ve hardly had a minute to myself this entire weekend even though I literally said in words to my mom “I can’t do anything this weekend, I have final projects” because she still doesn’t take me or what I’m doing seriously


#1310

Might I suggest moving out and rooming with a couple people in an apartment splitting a rent you all can afford. I know moving out as a college student is extremly difficult, and if your majoring in something that takes years of school you are trapped in a very ugly spot. If that is not an option I think whoever has so called plans would understand that you have school work and that is the first priority on your list. Most understand the difficulty of college and working at a low paying job that they would not sweat to change the time of which both parties are available. As for your mom show her your workload and ask her how long she thinks this would take. Maybe then she would understand that you have other stuff to do than dying hair.


#1311

Unfortunately I really don’t think trying to talk to her will get anywhere because she’s literally watched me work from 7 pm, which is when I get home from school some days, to 3 am straight with only one short break for food/the bathroom multiple times before while we were sharing my room because we had family visiting. Like it’s almost funny how much she got on my case about my homework while I was in high school versus how little she cares about it now when we’re paying for college

I’ve wanted to move out and doing so would benefit me in so many ways, but right now I don’t have the means to. I’d need to go and talk to a financial aid advisor about it, but the money I get from financial aid right now just barely covers my tuition alone and I need to pay out of my pocket for textbooks and supplies so I don’t think I’d even be able to move into student housing. I’m only about halfway through my degree right now (it’s going to be 6 years, at least, since I haven’t been able to do summer semesters and since I’ve failed and dropped a few classes) and with where I am right now, I don’t get a very good class selection so my schedule is really all over the place. If I manage to get into student housing in the future, I think I’ll try to get a job either on or near campus once my schedule gets a bit more manageable. I want to do commissions over winter break and try to get a summer job, but because of my workload and how long my commute to and from school is, I really don’t have the time or energy for a job during the semester right now

My family is a bit of the traditional type where wanting to move out before getting married/engaged is just seen as being rebellious so it’ll definitely take some convincing but hopefully even my mom will see how impractical a 1-2 hour long commute for only 2 to 4 hours of class is


#1312

Your parents by law can’t hold you at your house at the age of 20 since 18 is the minimum age, and you can always look for a job that pays for part of your college stuff such as Wal-Mart. In fact there are many large companies that pay for tuition. So with financial aid I think you could steady yourself to a semi comfortable place. Then you could rent a place near your college eliminating the 1 hour drive, and if you don’t have enough money live with 1-3 people and split the rent. !y brother currently has his tuition being paid and they bend the hours to his schedule for college creating a win win area for him. Now in California I am not too sure what jobs do this but I’m most certain some jobs will be able to work around your college education and support it as well.


#1313

I don’t know about any businesses around here that would pay for tuition so I’ll have to look that up. My school is really small so it doesn’t have actual dorms, it has some sort of system with a few of the apartment complexes in the surrounding area. It’s in the fancy, expensive part of town so the apartments seem pretty nice from what I’ve seen and there’s a lot of businesses around there, plus there’s the jobs on campus which I don’t remember all of the benefits of at the moment, beyond convenience. The apartments are about a 20 minute’s walk away from campus at most and the rent is paid with tuition for each semester, so student housing would be the best option

Even if legally I don’t have to stay here, my mom would try and talk me out of moving out so it’s just going to be a huge pain to try and figure out some sort of compromise. I’ve been going through a lot lately so I’ve just been constantly exhausted, both emotionally and physically, and plus I can’t drive so trying to find a job right now isn’t exactly a good idea for me. I’m thinking if I get a job during the summer/late spring and/or if I get my driver’s license soon I’ll have a better time talking her into letting me check out student housing at least


#1314

@princecatling I believe Cajun has you covered for the overarching part of your dilemma…now for the specific part about your mother making you dye hair when you should be doing homework.

I can see how hard you tried to do that dye job right…and that’s your problem. :laughing: What, do you want your mother to ask you to do MORE things you don’t want to do/can’t do and/or don’t have the time to do? :smile:

You need to fail at these tasks, and fail BADLY. Make yourself seem so incompetent that your mother will NEVER ASK AGAIN. Believe me, if that kid’s hair looked bad enough, you’d never have to do it a second time. I’ve gotten out of snow-shoveling almost entirely this way…by acting so incompetent and complaining so much that everyone decides it’s just not worth it.

Besides, you can use the time you’ll save by not putting actual effort into whatever to do your work. :smile:


#1315

It was just some kid I didn’t even know though, and even if it was someone I knew and didn’t like, I really wouldn’t want to do something like that to them :confused: The kid was maybe a bit rude at times but she still wouldn’t have deserved to be punished for something my mom did

And plus it’s one thing to like maybe draw something (non permanent) badly or like burn food or something, and it’s another thing entirely to ruin something growing out of another living human’s head so that they’ll have either potentially spend like $40-50 to cut off or just live with a terrible dye job that other kids will probably make fun of until it’s dyed over

And plus with bleach, if it’s done badly enough it could just make the hair break off entirely somewhere


#1316

@princecatling Mmm…I guess I didn’t think about it that way, about how the kid would be affected. I mean, it would be pretty hilarious to me…but I guess it WOULD suck majorly for them. Especially if they care about their hair overmuch. I didn’t really think about that.

And your explanation of “how other people feel” reminds me very much of my own mother’s lectures to me as a kid.

So, I’m sorry, anonymous kid from far away. :slight_smile: I really wasn’t trying to knowingly set you up for misery and bullying.


#1317

Have you ever tried saying no and hold your ground to no because you have other more important things to do. What is the worst she could do to you for saying no and actually doing your job of being a student.


#1318

She listens maybe half the time when I do. Under other circumstances I would try, but this time she dropped the baking bit on me after she’d already told her friend and her friend’s kid that I’d do it and the hair dye bit when the two of them were standing right in front of my and put me in a really awkward and uncomfortable position where I didn’t feel like I was able to say no to it

She’s actually been a little bit better lately about letting me know about plans than she has been in the past, but she still pulls stuff like this sometimes which is really annoying


#1320

I did it! Today’s appointment was about rebuilding a broken tooth so it was quite intense but I got through it. The dentist and dental nurses* were incredibly kind and patient and so good at helping me stay present (I expected at best I’d dissociate and at worst I’d flashback but neither happened). I need to make two more small appointments and now that I’ve done this I feel really good about going back there, although my mouth hurts a bit.

*Are they called nurses? I don’t know for sure but they said they weren’t dentists.


#1321

In the states they are “Dentist Assistants” for the most part.


#1322

In Serbia they’re called “sisters”.


#1323

That makes sense. In my state it turns out we have Dental Nurses and Dental Assistants so I’m probably going to have to ask them next time.

Is that related to the history of nuns volunteering in healthcare? I like how it makes them sound less like strangers and more like family.


#1324

I actually have no idea. I tried Googling it, but couldn’t find the answer. It certainly makes sense. But yeah, here and all across ex-Yugoslavia, if it’s a female nurse it’s a “medical sister” or just “sister” and if it’s a male nurse it’s a “medical technician”. But the latter is very rare I think, I’ve never in my life come across a medical technician.


#1325

Men aren’t called medical brothers? That’s a missed opportunity there, or alternatively women not being called technicians is the missed opportunity. I guess it depends on which title you prefer.


#1326

If it were the United States, I’d imagine those titles would have long been changed, kinda like “stewardess” being changed into “flight attendant”. Here, people don’t really give a crap, to put it bluntly. Chances are, if you’re a male nurse here, that you’ll probably be addressed as “sister” or maybe even “brother”, because male nurses are so rare that many people (including myself until recently) don’t even know what they are called.