And idk sometimes I feel like I’m too sensitive? Emotional?
I mean like I’ve spent all my life being walked over and just putting up with a whole lot of shit and I’ve just gotten sick of it so I’ve tried to stick up for myself more but all I get is “Sorry I offended you” or “It was just a joke” or “I can’t bully you, we’re friends/family” or “I’m doing [whatever the hell it is] for your own good” or something like that and it’s just so tiring?
And as soon as I out my self as queer/not white/mentally ill/etc I’m suddenly treated as a representative of all people who also have that single quality and suddenly whether or not whoever I’m talking to sees those people as people rests on my shoulders as if I was voted leader of the hivemind or something
Which is kind of part of why I don’t exactly want to come out to my family, but that’s a whole other story
And the moment I go “Hey, this thing you’re doing to me makes me uncomfortable, can you please stop/can we interact in a different way?” (and yes, that is literally my basic script for telling people I’m uncomfortable with something) people get all defensive like “How was I supposed to know? How dare you point out that I’m not a perfect human being all the time?” as if I’m trying to attack them? When I just want to stop feeling uncomfortable? Like it’s not like I’m asking to be worshipped or anything, I just want to be treated as an adult human being who’s trying to have a life and not be constantly belittled by the people around me
I spent four years stuck in a toxic relationship with someone who bullied and patronized me constantly because it “built character” and “was just some friendly joking” and frequently disrespected my boundaries and privacy because I was “at risk of hurting myself and couldn’t be trusted on my own” to the point that other people stepped in to tell that person to back off without even being asked and I just don’t want to repeat that and yet when I finally start sticking up for myself, I’m treated like the bad guy