Well, the person that’s supposed to be placing me for student teaching hates my guts. So I don’t think he’s going to help me very much. The reason why he wants to pour gasoline on me and light a match is because I didn’t realize I had to take a certain course and I’ve been behind on taking some of the state testing I need.
Well, sorry. My mistake. But I still think that as someone who supposedly (though I sincerely doubt the fact) cares about students and because it’s, you know, HIS JOB, he should make an effort.
Ugh, why try anything?
Do you ever wish you could restart your life like it was a COG and make different choices? Do something different, be something different?
Do you ever feel like you could make more of a difference in the world by dying than staying alive?
Because that’s how I’m feeling right now.
Ha. I’m reminded of something an asshole said once. I quote (imagine the coldest, flattest voice you can think of) “I’d feel more sympathetic if your misery wasn’t self-inflicted and you weren’t being such an ass.” Or that guy in that Youtube video who says, in song, “Nooobody gives a shit.”
Ah, screw him. I’m talking to the dean tomorrow-who is a really nice guy and willing to actually help.
I wonder if it would be too petty, when I inevitably have to see the jerk who’s in charge of student teaching placements again, to do one of those dramatic movie-style slamming the papers I’m carrying on the desk? And petty or not, I’ll DEFINITELY be reminding him that he said it was pretty much impossible…and yet.
Unless of course it doesn’t make any difference. Then I will be returning to my thoughts from the beginning of this post.
Edit: But that’s not going to happen. Because if neither my weird childhood, numerous bullies, He Who Shall Not Be Named, that surgery gone wrong which almost killed me, Crohn’s disease inflammation which according to the doctors should be causing me daily agony but mysteriously isn’t, nor an entire branch of the US criminal justice system (it’s a long story) could manage to ruin my life and take me down once and for all, there’s no WAY one jerk from the Education Department has what it takes.
It would just be…anti-climactic. If I’m going to lose the game that is my life, I demand a cooler final boss!
(Aaaand that probably didn’t make much sense, did it?)