The "Why Are You (Feeling Emotion)" Thread


Im studying law.
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I absolutely agree I need to tell the neighbours, before this morning I was sure he was just exaggerating and I’d see that the cat was just visiting a lot and then I got the surprise of my life. What I need help with is what to say to them - “my uncle kept feeding your cat treats and then she decided she liked him better than you and wasn’t going back but you see I’ve got her here! Please don’t press charges, he’s too old to handle that…” is my rough draft but if it were my cat I wouldn’t accept that statement.

ETA: okay I probably would accept that statement but I’m biased since now I’m the one with the geriatric cat-stealing uncle.


Stop being me but a few years younger.


Great minds think alike.


Hm, Im not too good with social interactions (unless im debating), but I think saying something along the lines of “Hey, Im sorry, my uncle took your cat, and I didnt find out about it untill very recently, but her she is. Please dont press charges, my uncle didnt mean any harm by taking her, he just really wanted a pet.” (Then offer to take them out to lunch or something to give yourself more time to think about what to say and smooth things over). Oh, and major piece of advice, make sure that there are objects between you and your neighbors, and that you have an escape plan incase things go wrong when you tell them.


That’s a lot better than what I thought of so I might just use that.

And thank you so much for helping me out here I really didn’t know what I was going to do.


No problem, Im always happy to help someone not get chrages pressed against them, or thier family.


Augustus has a good notion there. Then, assuming they do in fact want the cat back, maybe your uncle needs one of his own. Could prod him to adopt an older one from the shelter near you, they are the ones most in need of a home and that might appeal to him since he liked ‘saving’ this one.


I actually can’t sleep I’m that stressed about this… probably means tomorrow I’ll be functioning as well as some drunk octopus learning to flamenco dance.

Thank you for your response. This is more good advice (I actually suggested we go out and legally acquire a cat of his own) but for now he has made it clear that his heart is set on this cat. I feel so awful for doing this to him. I know he’s probably done the wrong thing and is viewing all this through an altered lens to justify his actions but he’s just such a sweet old man. I nearly subjected everyone to the longest rant in the world about my personal history with him to make sure you all knew exactly how good a person he is but that’s… not the point here, is it? He stole the cat. He didn’t mean for her to move in with him but he has deliberately avoided giving her back. He’s put several of my cousins and I in a terrible position and probably caused that cat’s owner/s a huge amount of pain and anxiety.

ETA: I forgot to share something nice; a couple of cousins (they’re the ones in a terrible position) have arranged to meet me at uncle’s house this Saturday and together we’ll be returning the cat. That way someone can sit with uncle and comfort him while a few others take care of returning her and begging for clemency.


The only thing I can say about talking to your uncle about it is to make sure that no matter how bad you feel for him, to give the cat back. Yes its going to break his heart, and that sucks, but its better than having him in prison or paying a huge fine for stealing someones cat and not returning it.


Why don’t you simply find a stray cat, give to your grandfather, wait for some time while making it clear he needs to return the other, then give it back to the neighbors?

I mean you can tell them something like “Hey, sorry about it. My grandfather picked up two cats and thought they were strays but one was yours.”

Everyone’s happy.


It’s a very solid suggestion, thank you for offering it. Unfortunately we have had years of learning through experience that uncle* doesn’t do bereavement or separation well and drawing this out might make it worse for him. I wish we could be slow and steady but at least we can be gentle. Maybe in a while I can take him to look at cats at a rescue center.

*did I call him grandfather previously? If I did that’s my bad, sorry I’m just really tired but can’t sleep, because he’s my grandmother’s late sister’s husband. My great uncle.


Pretty good. Got better results in my GCSE’s than i expected (considering i didn’t study once)


Apologies, I read “old” and my brain filled in.

It’s not rare for old people to have trouble with separation. That’s why I suggested you pick up one cat so that the transition is smoother.

If you take the “stolen” cat and try to give him another, he might not take it well. Because if you do it, he’ll be disappointed (especially since he trusts you) which combined with trying to adopt another may make him feel like you try to replace the cat you took away from him.


I am amazed and happy.

I passed all my GCSE’s by some divine intervention.


That’s an excellent point that I should have thought of. Back to the drawing board… I’m sorry if I seem a bit deflated but I really do appreciate this.


Heeey don’t sweat it. I’m advising, that’s all.


Hey I’m not the type that express my emotions but I tend to smile for everything even if I’m sad, angry, etc so I don’t know if it’s a bad thing


Horrible. Exhausted. I can’t think I’m that wrecked, I guess I wanted to say uncle’s cat problem is solved and give another thank you to the people who advised me on it. The people we returned the cat to are understandably angered but not about what you’d think and also they’re massive jerks, uncle is so hurt by all this but it seems as if a lot of worry was lifted off of him now he doesn’t have to ask himself what trouble he’ll be in. I can’t tell how the cat is feeling but I think I feel the worst for her out of everyone because she deserves so much better than the life they’ll give her and I really do think uncle could have been the perfect caregiver for her. Everything’s a mess but I didn’t decide to revert to self-destructive habits so I guess I should be proud of myself for that much.


If you think the cat is genuinely being abused, why dont you tell the cops, or animal control, or something like that? Just a suggestion.