The "Why Are You (Feeling Emotion)" Thread


#1018

I know that saying “you are not the only one” isn’t exactly helpful, but maybe there’s a chance that this will make you feel better.

My mother when through a very similar issue with my cousins and my aunt, but eventually, when my cousins gained some agency of their own and my aunt started coming to her senses, the situation improved, even though it seemed imposible at first. Meanwhile, she tried to focus on other things to feel better about it.

But if you are on the edge of depression, remember that there’s nothing wrong in asking help, even sharing your experience in the forums might be helpful.

I hope you’ll feel better eventually, and I wish your nephew and your niece the best.


#1021

Hehehe…i feel pretty proud.

I couldn’t believe i cleared one of the toughest entrance exams.

Finally i can feel my wings sprouting and spreading


#1022

My parents are giving me an ultimatum: drop out from college to work in Dubai, drop out from college to work in the country while my parents will retire for good, drop out from college and be kicked out from home, drop out, or go to school next semester. It would be a simple decision really, if it weren’t for the fact that I have no place to go either way.

That side of the family isn’t friends with my side of the family. Dubai has too much tempations for a weak and easily distracted person like me. I still dont know what I want to do with my life, and I’m out of options in the meantime. (I’ve been getting a lot of Physics and higher Math stuff in my feed though, which gets some interesting ideas…)

Depression’s still eating me alive, which is the reason why I havent taken any make up exams or activities yet, or why I’m afraid of going out of the house because I might really run away like in my dreams, or why I am putting off the family tradition of working in the family business, or why I am neglecting all my writing projects.

I told my family I’d graduate within 7 years or less, since that’s more or less the average number of years an undergrad gets their degree in my university. A celebrity classmate of mine just graduated last week after 6 years. Another friend of mine got out after 8. Another one made it after 18 years.

If it would take me more than 7 years to get a degree, I’ll still do it. If it means I’ll have to apply in a science track, which I am not fond of but oddly good it, then so be it!

Dont’t worry, mom, dad. I’ll get my own sunflower, too. I’ll get that sablay as well. Just not today. :sunflower: :sunny: :slight_smile:

In less depressing news, I learned how to play the Imperial March and Game of Thrones opening theme. By ear. And I have not much experience with music at all. I’m working on Lux Aeterna right now. So yay me! :smiley:


#1023

I’m feeling a mix of emotions. I’m pretty disappointed, sad and annoyed because I found out I wont be moving-that means no kitty for me :’( , though I did spend the money I’d saved up to move to finally buy a wardrobe, so that’s something at least :slight_smile: , so happy that I can finally after so many years hang my clothes up properly and not just have them all crumpled up together on my shelves.

Also feeling the same, sad, annoyed and disappointed as looks as though I’m not going to make it into the second year of uni. I really did try, but really struggled with all the readings and coursework, but I still managed to get some good A levels at least, so that’s something…plus I did get 66 on my exam, surprised and happy with that, that’s equivalent to a 21, and 4 off a 1, so top marks basically :smiley: . So yeah, feeling pretty nervous too-about the future, getting a job, meeting my personal tutor tomorrow, how my family will react etc, hoping my family will see the positives, as in I did way better academically than my parents, some of my friends and better than I was predicted to do in high school and such, so it’s not like I’m a total failure, I still think I’ve done well, just hope my family and such can see that.

Also feeling a mix of nervousness and, happiness that my GIC screening appointment is next week- nervous due to my mental health issues, and due to me still largely questioning my gender and not being fully sure. So yeah, busy and hectic times :stuck_out_tongue: .


#1024

I’m feeling a little wistful.

I had a dream last night that I was in some kind of huge fancy boarding school and I had magic powers. I broke into the girl’s dormitory, scared the shit out of everyone there and flew out the window. Then I just flew around an area that was kind of like the outskirts of my hometown for a bit and then I went back to the school. I noticed there were washing machines in the room right next to my room and thought wow this is super convenient, I went to get my blanket and when I got back the washing machines were gone. I went to the guy in charge to complain and he was Stephen Colbert but he was really busy and he didn’t have time to address my grievances.

Not sure why this makes me feel wistful.


#1025

Not sure why you would not be able to make it into the second year if you had high grades. But then it is a different country’s educational setup.

However, just know that college success in general is overrated, and you have a ton of options for success (and more importantly, happiness) regardless of acquiring the world’s most expensive piece of paper. I dropped out/was given the boot five years in on a four year school, and it was definitely rough for some time both with parental disappointment and the struggle to find an identity that can cope with that sort of failure. But you will get there, and if you can get just a year or two of experience at a quality job you will find that is wayyyy more valuable than a degree nowadays. Good luck!

And as for the wistful feeling, I can only assume that is connected to waking up and realizing in real life you cannot go harangue Stephen Colbert or scarr young women without being arrested? Or maybe it is a more nebulous thing, like how just thinking about school stuff can make some people misty-eyed with nostalgia.


#1026

I’m feeling happy because I got my financial paper turned in and I’m spending time with my grandmother even though this month and last month was crazy. Actually last year and most of this year was pretty bad for me. My grandmother that raised me all my life is dying and now my financial aid is on suspension while fall semester is coming. Money is not around, my mother is going crazy but it might be from her disease, and I feel like I might go back to being how I was last year. All in all the worse is coming or already here for me.


#1027

HAPPY!!! Because I remembered what my COG password is and now I can actually talk to real people instead of NPCs in video games!!!


#1028

I dunno. If it is a NPC in a old-school Bioware game I might actually enjoy talking to them more than most real people.


#1029

Please don’t mention old Bioware. It makes me weep that the company that made BG2 and the most detailed ROs I’ve ever seen has fallen so far.


#1030

It was inevitable. When they merged with Pandemic I was stoked; two of my favorite gamemakers together! Responsible for the two very best Star Wars games I might add, Battlefront 2 (the REAL Battlefront 2, mind you, with elaborate space combat and a proper Conquest mode, not the shiny turd they’ll squeeze out in a few months that besmirches the name) and KotOR. But when EA promptly bought them…there was no hope. Like when Square got bought out by Enix after Spirits Within tanked. Though at least Bioware games are at least still playable.

Now I feel nostalgic. Perhaps time to finally do that KotOR run through where I kill Juhani back at the academy? Never have done it that way the other eight or nine times.


#1031

If you’re interested in mods, there’s one that replaces Juhani with a Jedi Sentinel named Kay. Pretty interesting mod I might add, since Juhani always felt just…there.

It’s still sad to see a respected developer descend into madness or nonexistence though, especially when it’s something they have no control over (in Pandemic’s case).


In other news, I’m feeling strange. I just got back from a trip where I met a sibling of mine I haven’t seen for 16 years, and it was both enlightening and dull at the same time (Not that my sibling is dull, mind you–far from it in fact, but the town we met up at was a sleepy little town of under 40,000). It was pretty weird, but I feel ultimately glad that I got in touch again.


#1032
Summary

Not outstanding but better than I have in a while. I haven’t been around-around (I was lurking-around but not engaging) on the internet because of some nasty mental health problems that I’ve been trying to take care of and failing to. I’ve been spending more time taking care of myself, talking to mental health professionals, not resorting to substance abuse when distressed, avoiding triggering topics (they were contributing to horrible flashbacks) and just trying to be better for other people around me if that makes sense. I really hope everyone is having a good day or that your day starts to get better from here out :grinning:


#1033

Frustrated and conflicted

So there’s this guy who I’ve liked and I confessed my feelings to him and got let down gently and he started dating someone not that long after that. It’s been just under a year since all that went down and we’re still friends and I’m glad that he’s happy and the relationship has seemed good for him and all but it still stings a little :pensive:

It’s really tough for me to meet people especially right now since I’m still on summer break and since I can’t drive I don’t really get out much. There’s also not a whole lot of queer guys around me or at least not many I’ve met for some reason? Like I know maybe 15+ queer girls and nonbinary people but only a handful queer guys, and one of them I had a falling out with in high school and haven’t seen since and another I don’t want to associate with anymore because he did some stuff that really hurt another friend of mine and then blamed her for his own actions

A friend of mine kind of tried to hook me up (idk if I could really call it that though since it was online?) with a friend of a friend of her’s a few months ago. She didn’t really know anything about the guy at first though and unfortunately when I started talking to him, I got some major red flags from him and just kind of. Booked it

I’m kind of afraid of trying dating apps/sites since, not only am I trans, but I also enjoy traditionally feminine things (like the way I dress, wearing makeup, collecting dolls, etc etc) so I’m worried I wouldn’t be welcome. Plus I’m kind of on the shy side and have trust issues which is another problem

Why do I have such bad luck with this kind of stuff :sob:


#1034

Tired but also super awake. There are cat fights - actual cat fights - that have been going on near my bedroom window lately and tonight is a real doozy. I may call these cats a therapist or an exorcist or something…

ETA: error fixes. Cat fights apparently mess with my English skills as well as my sleep cycle :unamused:


#1035

I been feeling tired, happy and having dreams. Work been wearing me down. My dreams lately have been me as a soldier in firefights or as a knight in the thick of a medieval battle. Last dream I was swing my blade while laughing eagerly as I rush into a mob of peasants. Sadly my gf woke me up in the middle of it cause her husband wanted to borrow my car. And I happy cause my eldest kid going to kindergarten and been shopping lately. :smiley:


#1036

Im pretty happy today, I had a great dream (not a big deal, but it still makes me happy) and I just got the results for a test back, and I did much better than I thought.


#1037

I feel like crying.
I have to look at sixth forms even though I want to go to college but the way my grades are going I’m going to have to put it off for another year or something until I am caught up. I also have switched medicines for my nose bleeding problem and you can probably tell how that’s going since I have been on the same one for three years.

On the plus side though, my drawing skills are improving :thumbsup:


#1038

On top of being just generally depressed because of chemical imbalances in my brain and hardly talking to anyone in the past month, today I’m being reminded why, even when I’m supposedly living in a progressive place, I’m paranoid and have trust issues, why I hardly ever go outside unless I have to, and why I started carrying pepper spray and looking into what self defense are legal where I live last year


#1039

Bored. Hot. Hungry.

I’m on my way to camping but got stuck in dead-still traffic with a massive accident up ahead. (There were big columns of black smoke as I drove up to it. But they’ve put it out now.) Been sitting here for maybe 2 hours now and haven’t moved.

I also need to go to the bathroom but we all know that isn’t happening any time soon.

I mean, hey, could be worse. I could’ve been the one hit.