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Scared, worried and annoyed (all at once)
Basically my friend has just told me about a fanfiction they were writing and has used my name since I love the game and anime so much, they did as me permission though but I thought they were writing a totally made up story from their concerning imagination. So now they are getting near the time when they are going to put it on wattpad and I have no idea what my rep is going to be like afterwards and I really don’t need the extra attention/embarrassment. They say they will let me read it first though so before they put it up online I can edit and stuff but still, I have no idea what to feel about it or if they should give them my permission to put it up online so.I should of really said that I’m a bit indecisive right now too.
I had similar problems in the Law college. I was a good student not the best in my prom but in top ten and with a bunch of summa cum laude. ( In Spain max puntuation possible) However, One proffesor hated me probably because my best friend is gay and he saw me with him and other supposed degenerated in his opus dei bigoted opinions. Long history short he decided I failed 3 times his class the only class I failed. I had to go other University to pass lol. Thankfully it was other college in200km and here university is cheap. My advice is try to get with other teacher somehow. That guy is like my bigoted teacher so he would assure your fail.
I feel you guys on the courseload. I’m taking 15 credit hours, working two part time jobs (transcribing from home for Rev and call center from home for Amazon), plus working on the interview process for a third, which is an in-person job, so I can hopefully cut my hours at Amazon down to 1 a week. Amazon isn’t a bad company to work for. I don’t hate the work. It’s management that I can’t stand. I have never seen a more disorganized management team. Add in, that I’m guaranteed 0 hours, but required to work at least 1 hour a week to keep my job (and the hours are gone within minutes of being posted), it’s very difficult to make ends meet with this position.
Add in that I’m doing my Chinese class completely from home (I really need to get on making flashcards, because I’m falling behind in studying ugh), taking the most advanced English literature class my school offers, as well as taking the most advanced math class a freshman can take (without having done AP math classes in high school)…I’m definitely overwhelmed.
'Course, I have BPD, so I tend to dissociate/disassociate when I get overwhelmed…So I’m actually not stressed in the slightest, which concerns the fuck out of the people around me, lol. I’m just generally in a down, but they’re used to that. It’ll pass in a few weeks.
If anyone has suggestions for time management with 3 jobs and full-time school, let 'em rip, because I could use them.
I feel… surreal. I often feel like if I wrote my life story, people would not believe it.
My best friend locally is going through a hard time finding someone to date. He keeps jumping through hoops attempting to impress like-minded people in order to find a romantic partner. Meanwhile I, an aromantic human being, walked into the premier of a play the other day to be introduced as the girlfriend of the technical lead.
I don’t know why she thinks we’re dating, but I went with it. I explained to everyone why my girlfriend was a goddess among theater professionals.
I was also off-balance after my encounter in the elevator. It turns out that I was already in a scandalous category for agreeing to come to the play. Two performances were occurring in the same building, one an avant-garde play about sex, the other a musical that the local private high school for the arts was putting on. Fun fact: I was being judged as deviant by mothers whose kids were singing in “Urinetown: The Musical.”
Anyway, both my tragically single friend and my girlfriend(?) are coming over tonight to hang out for technically-Valentine’s-Day. Should be interesting.
Uncomfortable, screwed up, and rash
This is my 5th times I haven’t take a bath in the semester.
Well, in tropical countries, it’s a common practice to take a bath 2x a day. Because, you know, these heat makes you sweat and sweat means rash.
Relieved that my brother is recovering well from dengue. If he doesn’t have another fever, he is good enough to go home by tomorrow or friday.
On the other hand, I’m annoyed because I learned that my coughing, clogged nose and sore throat are allergy-based (aka hay fever/allergic rhinitis). I really hate having coughing fits because they really hurt.
A little relieved.
In my language course a 40 something man harrassed me dialy about my nacionality and called up his friends even.
Luckily today he was booted. Geez he even argued with our ambassador 0_0
It was a wild class needless to say.
Anxious and dumb, thinking that I probably screwed up a growing potential friendship.
Last weekend I ended up blurting out to someone I’ve been hanging out and getting along well with, that I liked her and asked her out after we’d been drinking and dancing. Obviously, she had very different ideas about me. Didn’t say anything to each other after that; she’ll be at an event I’m going to this Friday. I kind of regret it, because we got along really well otherwise. I also kind of don’t because not taking risks is something I’ve done for too long. In the end, conflicted about it.
Sort of silly how after everything I’ve been through, this thing is sticking with me right now. C’est la vie, I guess
I put my fanfiction up yesterday after a lot of editing and no one has read it a lot and I am starting to regret putting it up, which is why I have decided to see if anyone views it in a week and if they haven’t I will take it down (I am only guessing though, does the star symbol mean how many views it gets on wattpad?)
If you want people to read your fanfiction then first, include a link in your profile here.
Second, you could put it up on a number of websites. The more fanfiction sites its on, the more views it’ll get.
Third, I found that by commenting on other people’s stories on a site, I’d generally get people who would return the favour and comment on mine.
Fourth, ask your friends to read your work.
Five, join groups devoted to your fandom?
Literally how do you think people get views and reads? If you take down your fanfic, how are people ever going to read it? They’re not.
That’s the point. It takes time for people to discover your work, and in this business people finding out about it usually spreads via word of mouth, which takes time and buildup.
As far as I know, a lot of older, more fandom-dedicated folks don’t use wattpad. They’re on A03 (Archive of Our Own), tag their works heavily, and then advertise it on tumblr. Fanfiction.net is a bit old by now, but it’s still going, too.
Taking it down does nothing. You think it’s bad? So? What’s the argument to not leave it up there, unless it’s under your real name? My Immortal, a godawful, godawful fic, is a classic. You want more attention? Then taking it down is the worst thing to do.
What you’re doing is seeking validation for your work and effort. For someone to say it’s good so you can get an immediate high off their response. That’s how mental illness works. But you won’t get it that quickly. There’s no such thing as an instant high without a cost.
You just need time, and patience, and trust in your own ability. This is all just your anxiety speaking.
okay, thanks for the support guys. I shall put the link up but please don’t judge as it is literally the first thing I have written as in “I wrote this 5 years ago and forgot about it” so yeah, if this clutters let me know and I shall take it down immediately so…here goes, this is the first chapter: https://www.wattpad.com/373304615-yu-gi-oh-zexal-beyond-the-cards-runaway-duellist
my reason for taking it down is because I saw a few mistakes which started to bug me so I took it down, edited it then I accidentally forgot about it for a month until I did a sort out on my laptop. I also had to continue working with a friend who shares the same account with me is writing another story on wattpad which might be sent out tomorrow but uncertain so yeah…life is kinda going crazy right now. sigh why cant I be as confident as my friends when it comes to writing?
Confidence comes from experience. Just keep going. Even if it doesn’t get any attention, even if people tell you it sucks, even if you think you’re doing a terrible job, just keep going. Putting creative stuff out there is practically asking to get hurt, but do it anyway. If you want to get better you have to do it. If you stop, then it’s over.
This is a great post/ Thank you for writing it. It applies to most of us.
Feeling good today, no work and I’ve got free time. I’m going to explore the net for a while, check forums, and then try to continue to write my games…. I think it will end with me procrastinating, but at least I’m feeling good today.
I am so happy it is the weekend. They go terribly fast though. Also, I’m trying to write a story, and I got all my characters, it’s just so hard to start a beginning. I am surprised because I used to have very imaginative stories for a 5 year old, I think.
Beginnings are generally terrible when you’ve got everything else sorted out but just don’t know how to start, it’s like a dammed river almost. I like to come up with just one opening sentence I really like, something weird or funny, and try and build from that. Don’t know if it’ll help, but I thought I’d mention it. Good luck!
What now? For once I’ve said something that wasn’t dumb and insubstantial? Hallelujah! Hope it helped someone.
Dialogue comes more naturally to me than anything else so what I do is start with that and build the scene around it. I don’t know if that works for anyone other than me, but hell, give it a shot.