Heavy breathing intensifys
Just finished M’s route and it was amazing!! The tree scene with M is just hilarious, and getting M to not smoke in the office! That was a great scene. M, we all know you’re secretly a cutie pie
Also got the ex-Bobby scenes in this playthrough and… Gosh Bobby is such a poo. I am really looking forward to them meeting the LI… especially M!
Also, I did Dougie’s crush scenes in my F playthrough as just… adorable. Absolutely adorable. I am so proud of my son!!
A is next!
EEEEeEeeEEEE I was so impatient for this and it’s just as good as I was hoping for!! Thank you for all the content, Verda’s cute kiddies, lumberjack A and that moment with Bobby, yes even Bobby.
Personally i think the Triangle route is quite harmonious and calm
God dammit! Now I’m counting the days-no, the hours- SECONDS until the full game gets released!!
I DON’T NEED SLEEP, I NEED ANSWERS!!
what did you drink
I-wow-I can’t. This was so wonderful sera and I’m joinging your patreon tmrrw. I can’t wait!
THE BACKSTORIES THO, of how they got to the agency, and N, M and A are like “ouch” and then F is just like
the whole damn time lmaoooo whata savage.
You may be the only person in the world that thinks that lmao
I run a grammatical and spelling check in all the demo. Though I may be wrong in some things since I am no English native but hope it helps.
Shif in the seat and pretty much all town
I believe these two words go together? Maybe not?
I think there is suppose to be a comma before the end
The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with an uncountable noun as brightness. This is such an unimportant thing but meh.
The thick opaque mesh
have gone or went
instead of a point, there should be a comma.
I think on flues better with the scene
put my hand
I think it reads better with really really maybe I am wrong anyway it does not matter.
I think there is nothing wrong with this one but I am not sure if it is the same as in
coma after of course (?
I think it just passerby
That is all I have… for now.
I also learn that you have interesting patterns in your writing that makes easy to tell you apart from other writers. And please remember i am not english speaker so there is probably some mistakes there.
“All of the town” is gramitically correct in this context.
This is not incorrect. We, as English speakers, do sometimes say “paper planes gone wrong”, normally to note things off.
In this case, Seraphite is empathising what the MC saw, so a full stop can work here.
Since this is the MC’s action, it’s ok for Seraphite if she doesn’t include “my” or “your”.
Not necessarily, British English does not include a comma before ‘and’. I should know, I was taught that.
Gahhhhh I want to play but at the same time I want to wait until the game is fully released
Ok, I’m gonna say that I think it’s great that people want to help with editing, but I think the feedback she really wants is to know what works and what doesn’t with the story.
Are there options that you wish were there but aren’t?
Do the options there make sense?
Are there any continuity issues that you noticed?
Is there anything that can be improved upon? (not talking about grammar here—only story stuff)
Perhaps Sera should have mentioned this, but this has only been partially edited. She and I are currently going through and doing edits. We know there is going to be grammatical mistakes. Except for wrong pronouns or words or syntax that might be confusing, please don’t worry about where a comma should or shouldn’t go. That is not as helpful to her.
A suggestion: During the scene where we choose a different outfit, it would be a convenient to have an option to change your mind and decide to use your usual outfit. This would help those who accidentally chosen the different outfit or they changed their mind about it.
The one option I kind of wanted to have was an option to be excited for the Carnival without having to be “jumping up and down and screaming” levels of excited. The “oh nice” option seems more neutral to me. Maybe something in between?
You mean like pumping your fist in the air?
This is probably too late but is it possible for a Tina romance option? I quite liked her character since book one despite being a side character. Maybe it is possible for book three if you decide to not romance the agents, just wondering haha. Still enjoyed the demo lots.
I drank to much hype.
But to answer your question, Sera doesn’t plan on adding any new ROs besides Unit Bravo. If you have any further questions, please feel free to consult the FAQ!
God, N never fails to make me swoon! That’s like a superpower in itself! And A accidentally breaking the vase is hilarious! Though I would have assumed that they have quick reflexes to catch it so I guess they were just really distracted?
I assumed that A was so distracted that they forgot about their reflexes.