Doesn’t that happen around mid point in Book Two? When the detective sleeps at the warehouse for the first night?
Not in the way I meant. What I mean is that there could be a similar scene with the RO or BFF rushing in to check on the MC and it results in a discussion about the Murphy incident and a chance for the MC to voice their fears/concerns/anger/whatever over it (if they wish) and for the RO/BFF to comfort them. In book 2, the MC sought out the LI, not the other way around. And the whole Murphy thing, even if mentioned, wasn’t really discussed much.
Progress Report - 6th November 2020
When I was looking over the plan for chapter five, I got a flutter of panic about how intense it was with all the split scenes, branches, choice sets, etc.
But now…it’s just going so smoothly!
Like, this week I was working on the friendship split scenes and they were just flowing so naturally.
I have no idea what it is, but maaan, it’s been so nice! I mean, I always love writing! Bringing a scene to life that I’ve had in my head for so long is a feeling that is an addiction for me, hehe But this chapter particularly…I dunno what’s going on but it’s SO awesome!
It’s also been super great to be able to write these scenes with the MC as really part of the team. They’ve been with Unit Bravo for months now, so it feels the time is really right to have these casual, comfortable moments.
This week I also managed to get some other things started. Started on the Patreon Christmas Specials for next month (very excited for those!), one of the bonus contents for this month, as well as starting to seriously look at merchandise! I love how the designs look so far!! I just need to really have time to sit down and tweak things and decide colours, etc.
Creek Edge is really going to be on hold until the New Year. Don’t worry, it’s definitely going to happen! I just have way too much to pack in before my Xmas break this year, so I’ll be looking to add that back into my schedule in the New Year.
And speaking of packing things in. Next week I will be putting writing aside and fully focusing on testing and editing for the next section of the demo. I’ve come to terms with the fact that these games are just getting so huge now on the coding side of things, that I need to dedicate proper time to that instead of just the couple of days I could fit it into before. I want the best quality for you guys!
The always fantastic @spunkycatninja has been sending me edits, and I really need to catch up on them! So that’s my focus for next week, then the week after I will hopefully have my testers checking it out!
So yeah, a busy but seriously smooth running week, which is a rarity
Hope you all have a marvellous weekend, and I’ll update you again next week! <3
Just replaying the first two games for the umpteenth time- and is it just me, or does anyone else wish that, after the initial revelation upon waking up in the agency, that there was an option after choosing ‘I knew it had to be something like that!’ that’s pretty much: You guys aren’t as clever as you think you are at hiding the fact you’re vampires.
Like, being more amused to the reveal than anything else? It could work with a more teasing/sarcastic detective too.
Saying all supernaturals are bad because these examples are bad is like saying all Gemans are bad because Hitler was… well Hitler. A view like that, which in my opinon would qualify as racism, doesn’t really fit on a game about romances and friendships with a team of supernaturals. My personal opinion.
Now I could see making the MC more weary of supernaturals and their abilities, that wouldnt necissarily add any animosity just a bit of paranoia. I do agree adding to the trauma from Murfy could really add some good opportunities and a bit of realism. Also adding scenes including actual communication for the trappers could be really intresting. Turning some away from that group or allowing them to justify themselves a bit so its not just “they’re the bad guy”
Progress Report 13th November 2020
As I said last week, I was focusing on edits and testing this week.
So…it makes for a kind of boring update, I’m afraid, lol!
It’s nice reading through the game as a whole thing. Been really enjoying that!
But yeah, that’s kind of it!
Next week, I will be back to working on chapter 5 and getting chapter 3 and 4 ready for the beta testers!
Hope you all have a great weekend, and I’ll update you again next week! <3
Hi folks! I’m not sure if there’s any venue at all for providing feedback, so I suppose this is the place? I know the demo for Book 2 was rather rough until the whole thing had gone through beta, and I’m sure Book 3 will be the same in that regard. I enjoy these stories a lot (enough that I support the authoress on Patreon), buuuuut there are a few things in the writing that stand out to me. Here’s one such thing:
I find the MC to be almost unbearably passive. There are some narrative reasons for this, but to me one of the main ones is actually the writing. Specifically, the use of passive voice. Brief description of passive voice, from owl.purdue.edu: passive voice: “the subject is acted upon; he or she receives the action expressed by the verb.”
Here are some samples from the demo where passive construction is used. This was f!MC with M!A, for reference, but the principle remains regardless of combination. The bit in parenthesis is there just to show an alternative active form of the sentence, not an “IT MUST BE WRITTEN LIKE THIS” correction Some have no suggestions because more than one sentence would have to be reworked into active voice.
A warmth hums from the trees to cocoon me in safety.
A carpet of moss beneath my shoes, vibrant and fluffy, sends a wave of sweet wetness to catch my senses.
I frown, but only a few moments later a slight pungent odour begins to invade my nose.
(I frown. Then I smell it, faint at first, a bitter odour that grows in strength until my lungs are burning.)
…but the dying light of day means the darkness is creeping into the corners of my vision.
(It’s hard to see in the encroaching twilight.)
The plump softness of it helps begin to ease the tiredness in my body.
(I relax my tired limbs in the plump softness of the chair.)
…Rebecca demands, a sudden professionalism overcoming her…
(…Rebecca demands, returning to her usual professionalism…)
A silence begins to pervade the room until Rebecca takes a step towards me.
(Silence pervades the room until Rebecca takes a step towards me.)
Adam steps closer, the sheer magnitude of his presence drawing my gaze back up from the ground to meet his.
Actor/Agent: Magnitude of Presence
These certainly aren’t the only examples, or necessarily the most obvious ones. Mostly they’re just a sampling of what I’m on about. The MC doesn’t feel safe - the trees are actively cocooning them. The MC isn’t relieved to see UB - the sight of UB forces relief from the MC. Rebecca isn’t professional - professionalism has actively usurped her. MC doesn’t smell - odours invade their senses. In a writing sense, the MC is quite often the hapless receptacle of whatever inanimate object/thing/idea wants to have a go at MC’s poor body.
The MC and others are often victims of their own body parts deciding to do things, too:
Adam’s glance bounces about the scene.
(Adam looks around the clearing.)
My gaze scans the threat of the scene as best I can…
(I scan the scene as well as I can in the growing darkness.) (Sidenote: this whole scene would be much better off if we spent more time looking at what the detective is seeing and much less looking at the detective looking at the scene.)
My feet shifts towards him before I notice (sic.)
(I shift towards him on impulse.)
My gaze dances over the suddenly softened features of his face…
(His features suddenly soften.) (We’re in the MC’s head; if they see something we already know their “gaze” was doing the looking.)
My hand is already opening the door when he calls for me.
(I’m already opening the door when he calls for me.)
And in the same vein, the MC is made to experience things:
His hand resting softly on my arm has me forgetting all about the werewolves.
Actor/Agent: Hand (has)
(I forget about the werewolves and focus on the soft touch of his hand on my arm.)
Adam steps closer, the sheer magnitude of his presence drawing my gaze back up from the ground to meet his.
Actor/Agent: Magnitude of Presence (drawing)
(Adam steps closer. I look up to meet his eyes, captivated by his presence.)
It forces a smile from me that I can’t hide.
Actor/Agent: It (forces)
(I can’t hide a smile.)
The sight of them draws a heavy breath of relief from me even with the sting in my throat.
Actor/Agent: The sight of them (draws)
(I sigh in relief at the sight of them.)
Again, if there’s a better place for suggestions/observations of this sort, please point me thataway! Kudos to Mishka for her enormous labour of love!
Random comment here but I can imagine M flirting with someone at some point in the series but freaking out when our MC saw him/her, then he’ll/she’ll be confused why is she/he bothered if we saw him/her flirting.
Oh my word yes! My brain instantly envisioned it the other way and I just see M getting jealous/possessive at MC being nice to someone else (M seeing it as flirting) but not understanding why.
PROGRESS REPORT 20/NOV/2020
So, the demo was away to the beta testers this morning!
I am, as always, both wracked with excitement and extreme anxiety to get their reactions back, hehe
This week I mostly focused on getting the demo ready for the testing again. Finishing edits, doing my final tests, etc. Trying to catch all of the variations and branches is a lot now. It’s getting really complex, so I’ll be seriously glad to get the help of my testers to catch what I missed!
For example, for both N’s and F’s romances, I have to write a ton of variation for each of their romance scenes to account for if you’re in a relationship and kissed them, if you’re in a relationship but not kissed yet, if you’re not in a relationship but kissed, if you’re not in a relationship and haven’t kissed, etc.
But not only do I have to write all those versions, I have to test all those versions! Along with testing how it reacts when you’re on different best friend routes to ensure the right comments flag up, and then all the other branches too.
It’s intense, but it’s SO worth it when you get to play through the final result! It really feels organic. I love that I’m finally able to create a game that I always wanted - where the characters and world really do respond to who you’re romancing and how you’re romancing them, and it’s not just a side thing that never gets pulled up!
I did try to get some writing done this week, as I was missing it so bad! So whilst I was up with Bo on a night, I figured I’d get some of chapter five done. And man, I love writing through the night. Dawn is like my perfect headspace for writing! I didn’t get as much done as I’d hoped (I was and still am seriously sleep-deprived!) but I am so proud of what I wrote.
This weekend, I’ll not be taking my usual break but will be keeping in contact with my testers and adding in edits as they come through. But I’m eager to hear what they think of the next chapters
Asks will also be back to normal next week.
Hope you all have a fantastic weekend, and I’m eager to share the next part of the demo with you soon! <3
Progress Report - 27th November 2020
First half of the week I spent adding in beta tester edits, and getting the demo all up together. Now that’s done, I can give definite release dates for the second demo of Book Three:
Early access on Patreon: Wednesday 2nd December
Public release: Saturday 5th December
I’m so eager and nervous for you guys to get to play it!
For the rest of the week, I finally got back to doing some proper writing for Chapter 5. I think I should be able to focus on just writing now until my Christmas break! Hoping to really hammer out a lot before then.
I seriously enjoyed writing F’s scene. I mean, I enjoyed all of them, but F’s gives not only a (slightly unexpected) insight into F, but it also answers something A LOT of people have been interested in about the rest of the team as well.
There’s quite a few different scenes for chapter 5, and all of them involve split scenes to account for the love interests. But again, chapter 5 includes another scene that I know quite a few people have been very eager for! Looking forward to writing that moment and the LI reactions…hehehe ;D
I’ll be taking a proper break this weekend to make sure and spend as much time with Bo as I can, but Monday it really will be finally back to just enjoying writing again! The writing is always my favourite, even though I know all the other stuff is necessary too!
Hope you all have a wonderful weekend, and I’ll talk to you next week! <3
can’t wait for the public demo and all the new scenes
I’m so happy! How many chapters there’ll be in the new demo?
Congrats on the progress!
It’ll be chapters 3 and 4.
I’m so excited!!!
And here I told myself that I would stop after the first demo, and wait for the full release…
Ah well, patience was never a virtue of mine. Can’t wait to get my greedy hands on the second demo!
I can’t wait to see unit bravo and our mom.
Ahhhhhhh… I love them and you too dear author!
And are we gonna meet an a n g e l in this sequel ?
We already met an angel all the way from book 1, their name starts with F