And then she didn’t.
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I don’t think the dev cycle would be longer if there was something like a storyboard editor. I think that’s what you would call it, but basically what is needed is someone to look at the plot points and highlight problems such as flow, increasing tension until the climax, believability (even within the over the top constraints of Wayhaven, there should be some sort of reality check for what works and doesn’t work), lack of or problematic character motivations (I will explain further down), and whether or not the overall structure makes sense (and if there’s story bloat and plot creep).
For B3, there were a lot of plotting issues that fit into the above parameters. And things that made little to no sense from a human thought perspective.
Details
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Let’s start with the bounty. From a common sense perspective, this is when either Rebecca or A (depending on the MC’s relationship with R) should have mentioned the MC moving in with UB. The reasons are obvious, but for resistant detectives, bringing up the fact that the other residents of the apartment building could be injured in an attempt to get to them, would probably be enough to get them to agree. That said, it should have been a choice at the point, that is made in the discussion with the LI on the way to the detective’s room–A can still be dramatic about it, F and N can eagerly encourage it, and M can make the offhand comment that it will make it easier for M to watch their back (with no innuendo, making the MC freeze). If the MC chooses not to move in, you get a stressed out LI. And it still allows for the wet pajamas scene (because I think Sera was dead set on that).
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At the end of chapter 1, skip the Sin scene. We don’t want to know, yet, that he’s doing anything against his will.
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Chapter 2 goes as planned. Chapter 3 goes as planned, with one addition: M and the MC sense something when UB is all together and discussing their findings. A asks what’s going on, but M isn’t sure but it’s power… before they can start looking, it disappears and M hears a ruffle of leaves in the distance. (this is Sin, but we don’t know that)
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C4 still happens, but the MC may be living with UB already. The drama at Haley’s for M and A can still happen, setting up a possibility for the MC to decide to stay at their own place for the night to stay away from them (and any MC who said no to moving in will be in their apartment as well).
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So, at the beginning of c5, the MC is either staying with UB, staying with UB but away for the night because M and A are dicks, or staying at their apartment.
For the latter two, you get the apartment flood. The MC already has a reason to go to the warehouse, because they are already staying there and just kept away for the night or they have the standing invitation from c1. This is a good opportunity to hint to the soul bond and the whole “fated” thing with the RO, because they said no and now fate was like, “fuck you, you’re going”.
For those who are staying with UB already, and who didn’t stay away, they get a scene with the RO or bff where they’re at the apartment early to get their crap, letting them get a bit closer.
All still get the breakfast scene, and all still get the scenes at the square. All still get the call from R.
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C6 goes down as originally done, but cut the last scene with Sin. We still don’t get to see the auctioneer and still don’t know Sin’s motivations yet.
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C7 & C8 go down as they are. The blood drive… needed fixing. Put a scene at the beginning and let the MC just refuse to take part or use a skill check (laws says you can’t force me, fear of needles truth, fear of needles lying that requires people skills, pointing out the dangers of being woozy from blood loss and being on duty, the science of losing a pint of blood, the deduction route, etc). If you use common sense or pass the check, you get the scene with your RO. If you fail, you get the chaotic scenes you can pass or fail to either get the RO scene or have to go to Elidor. You still can get the scenes in and avoid the stupidity of being “forced” into giving blood.
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In C9 and C10, it gets a bit of a change. The “split the team” scene can still happen, but, again, it’s a trap. The supes being “kidnapped” actually work for the trappers (or are mercs) and either join in to fight you when you and F confront the trappers or “pretend” to be victims only to attack you if you manage to beat the mercs (surprise, surprise). You still get two of three if you split and succeed, or get one if you don’t split. And you get to question them–they tell basically the same thing, but say they were offered a lot of money to capture the MC (the supes that worked for Trappers may admit they thought of keeping the MC for themselves, but were afraid of the boss). At the end of C10, there’s no Sin scene again. And the kidnapping of Tapeesa/Vieno/Elidor doesn’t happen yet, but you go looking for them and can’t find them.
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C11, no changes. C12… the team is searching for the trappers, but there are no more kidnappings. They saw a small group around the MC’s apartment–so they know where the MC lives now. They even broken into the apartment and ransacked it. The rest, including the meeting with the chamber, goes down as planned.
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Again, there’s a divergence. Instead of some random supe that Sin is holding at the warehouse by the docks, it’s Tapeesa/Vieno/Elidor. Now it’s personal. Scene goes down as planned, but with a couple of tweaks–Sin finally admits they don’t want to do this, but have no choice.
Sin admits that he was nearby when the MC and UB were investigating Addie–and that kidnapping Addie was just a way to draw the MC out, so he could be sure they were the correct one to capture.
The MC tries to convince Sin to leave T/V/E behind, but Sin sayws their “boss” will know what happened if T/V/E show back up at the facility (because the trappers have moles inside the Agency) and he’s doing this to buy the MC some time. When prompted, he gives the MC a name (auctioneer’s name) and says he/she won’t stop and will just keep upping the game. Sin still ends up releasing T/V/E near UB’s house (you don’t see Sin’s POV in this, only T/V/E’s).
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The MC still goes catatonic after the thing with Sin but when they get back to the warehouse, they find T/V/E, but are too injured to even recognize them. Same scenes as usual, with the ROs. The chamber grounds the MC, and they don’t tell anyone about T/V/E yet because of Sin’s “warning” to the MC. T/V/E describes what happened, how it was all about getting the MC there to take them. All three noticed that Sin didn’t want to do what he was doing. Get a scene or two with T/V/E to grow that friendship, mention made of the MC’s abnormally fast healing from being crushed by bricks, then the date scene goes down as planned.
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In c15, the scene looking for T/V/E is cut and no longer needed, but maybe someone asks about them in passing, requiring the MC to lie or mislead about having seen them, bringing the supernatural points down one if they outright lie and suck at it.
No need for the discussion about multiple kidnappings, because there aren’t any, only one missing kid and that knowledge is plaguing the town because children don’t just go missing in Wayhaven. And who the hell would take them? (if you really want to use Bobby, have a headline showing that one kid was killed not too long ago and now another has been taken from their home, and how everyone should fear for their children and odd how this happened since those “agency goons” showed up in town).
The MC is stuck between a rock and a hard place, because they know Addie was taken to get to them. What if the stakes go higher? What if they take Tina or Verda or, even worse, Verda’s kids? Or their LI?
At the end of the chapter, you still get the invitation.
- In c16, there isn’t just an invitation and clothes. There are also pictures. One is of Addie, beaten and bloodied. Beneath that, it gets worse and has snapshots of various people in the MC’s life: Tina or Verda (depending on which route you’re on, and pics of Verda’s kids for an extra gut punch), Doug or Bobby (who cares about Bobby, lol), Rebecca, and… the final picture in the envelope is one of the MC with their LIV, looking at each other lovingly. There’s a note in the envelope stating that they can either accept the invitation or, perhaps, some other bait will work? It’s clear the auctioneer has done their homework.
It’s also clear the “invitation” is a trap. But the MC goes anyway (and, perhaps, can choose the main reason for it or bring the LI as a main reason “I won’t let them take you, and there’s no escaping this, anyway.”). Doesn’t matter if R goes or not, it’s a trap and you are put in a cell–if R goes, she’s in with you (also gives a nice chance for a chat and for torturing R to get a reaction from the MC–no matter how shitty the relationship is, or how much you see her as a liar, can you sit there and watch the woman who gave you life be tortured??). Nothing much else needs to change from there.
Even choosing to chase after the auctioneer vs rescuing supes can be made, but it’s a matter of choosing between letting Addie out (and knowing, if you don’t, the Trappers who are escaping will take her) or going after the auctioneer. You hear trappers coming, and know it’ll be a fight if you stay, or you can run after your quarry. You have a duty to Addie–she’s a kid, she’s injured, she was captured to get to you, and she’s from your town you vowed to protect–but if you let the auctioneer go, how many others will suffer? Sin can still capture the auct if you choose Addie, provided you have enough points.
This is just my ideas off the top of my head, but doing things this way would tighten up the story, up the tension more, and not require any more writing than was already there (less, really, though it could delve deeper into the scenes).
Just my opinion, though…
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Dividing the last post because it was too long and subject specific. Not spamming! 
Agreed! We’ll have to make one for @lo6otia too!
I had this same problem with one of my MCs and find it infuriating.
A lot of people love that it’ll take so long, but I really do think there should be a warning to new readers that it will take that long, and the estimate of the shortest wait they’ll be dealing with “real time” to get there.
Same here. For all of that. The plots just need to be tighter and simpler. We get that the plot is a vehicle to moments with the LI and that’s fine. So simplify them.
And, really, seven books is just too many for this series. If the romances weren’t dragged on for so long, it might work, but right now it feels forced that the MC and LI never freaking communicate.
This is why I can’t stand her character. Pathological liar.
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Fr, it might take a much longer time for the author alone to polish the book, but if she actually had a team of betas they’d be doing half of the work - finding plot holes and inconsistencies, pointing out pacing issues and stuff that doesn’t work or works poorly, making suggestions on how to rearrange things - then there wouldn’t be too much time sacrificed for higher quality imo.
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Yeah, I agree. She could assign each beta a specific route or two to play (like M-combat-bobby-tina knows) so it’s done thoroughly, then give feedback on all of it, as you said. I think it would help make the process smoother.
I think she worries a lot about info leaks (from what I understand, someone screwed her over in that regard, somehow), so she’d have to make them sign NDAs, but I don’t see the big deal about that. Sue the shit out of them if they violate it.
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Happy cake day, @EvilChani . You have made it through another full year in this forum!
Yeah, this is the goddamn problem. Like, not telling you about the supernatural when you weren’t necessarily involved in it? I’d have preferred to know, but sure, I understand why she wouldn’t. But, say, the Chamber thing? Why? Why?! WHY?!
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Aww happy cake day, always thought
you harsh with you’re critiques about twc, but you were practically never wrong either lol. Especially after book 3……
You remind me of this meme
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Maybe she had to sign an NDA?
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I’m sorry, but there’s only one acceptable rendition of that part of the story, and it’s this one:
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Right like…rebecca always comes of as either:
a) an extremely uncaring mother (“i could’ve told you but eh”)
b) a compulsive liar (“i shall withhold the information on purpose. What purpose you ask? …i have to go”)
c) an airhead? (“oh I didn’t tell you? I forgor”)
Most characters in the series seem to have one problem in common: lack of communication. Maybe it’s just an integral trope for the genre, idk. It’s not necessarily a bad thing if it’s intentional for a character or two, but it does nothing to make us like them that’s for sure.
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B3 shows M to be an actually great communicator, and I’m loving it. Granted, most of what they’re communicating is “I don’t know what the fuck”, but that’s only because they, indeed, do not know what the fuck.
M: “Now you hold on a minute!”
I said “what the”, not “how to”.
M: “Oh, nevermind them.”
Of the main characters, Tina and Verda also seem to have their act together in this respect, and so does, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, Douglas, in what might possibly the ONLY respect in which he has his act together. My mentee is coming along fine, actually. Even odds that I can get to the end of it without turning the Mayor into one of Kate’s best clients.
Romance and associated genres of fiction tend to hinge a lot on people being assclowns who do not, in fact, take 5 freaking minutes to sit down and talk to each other.
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To be fair, I don’t think he has much to do job-wise, Wayhaven being how it is. (I still can’t believe 1000-person town, but I do know the definitions differ between countries, so I’m willing to roll with that. It’s clearly some alternate Earth anyway.)
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But look at M when they go by instinct. M says what’s on their mind (I loved the, “well, if you’re too stupid to worry about yourself, I guess I’ll have to do it for you” scene in the beginning), and, about 95% of the time, behaves based on instinct rather than on trying to con someone, guilt, or whatever.
And M doesn’t really beat around the bush, either, as seen when they’re worried about the MC going to meet the auctioneer:
“But you think that we’d cope without you if that happened?” he snaps. “You think I’d be able cope without you now?”
I blink, stunned. “What?”
He swallows hard. “You heard me.”
“I…” My heart lodges in my throat, making it difficult to say anything.
“Just fucking make sure you come back,” he grunts before marching out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him.
M may still be confused about how to label their feelings for the MC, but they have no voicing what they do know, in that perfect M way.
After b3, I think Dezh’s canon B/D route may have to be Douglas. I really loved how that went, and what it does for her character (I think if anyone tries to hurt Douglas, at this point, Dezh would tear them apart with her bare hands). The only problem is convincing her to go to the damned bar in b1…
Which is ridiculous. There can be problems without all of this infantile behavior of refusing to talk to each other.
Oh, and @JBento and @SnowPhoniex, thanks for the cake day wishes! 
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According to Douglas himself, he joined the police SPECIFICALLY because he expected it to be a cushy job in which he didn’t have to do much of anything, which was apparently true before B1. I have no idea how the town generates so much paperwork for us to deal with that we’re always swamped with it if that was the case, though, but apparently it was.
We still have to get them to recognise that eels ARE fish, but at least they know the eels are there already.
M’s romance arc so far is an extremely good piece of writing, even beyond the context of just Wayhaven. It starts at a reasonable, common stance, it gradually evolves at good pace (within the work), and while M’s a thicko, they’re not actually stupid or unreasonable.
Speaking of M, something that occurred to me the other day: remember in B2 when you can tell them about not!Murphy nightmares, and they’re super-sympathetic? In B3 we learn that M hasn’t had a nightmare-free sleep since they’ve been turned, which, due to the amnesia, is their entire remembered experience. Just another reason to put on the “why M is always irritable” pile, as if it needed to get bigger.
There’s a lot of people who need to be smacked in the face with a hardcover version of Romeo and Juliette while being yelled “That’s what not talking gets you, they DIE!” at. (also, to hell with whoever decided to classify that as a romance, when it follows the rules and structure of a Greek tragedy to a T)
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I guess the station doesn’t have a secretary (they probably still have some kind of meetings to write minutes of) or a bookkeeper (they must still have money moving here and there), so whoever’s the detective’s saddled with those.
So I went through the dreaded B3 Adam route and yeah, I’d say the ending killed me but honestly, I’ve been dead from the moment Adam was putting some questionable balm (since when is Felix a medic?) on the fresh wounds?! That haven’t been cleaned (and disinfected)?! What?!
Funny how I don’t blink an eye at various supernatural shenanigans of the plot but then this little things send me reeling.
On the route itself, Adam is channeling an emo teenager so hard I just wanna wrap him in a blanket and say that everything is gonna be alright. Totally breaks immersion. I mean, he is freaking 900 years old and his deal? ‘A bad thing happened to me 900 years ago so I’m gonna let it dictate all my life from that moment forward’. He needs therapy, not a girlfriend.
I’m really invested in Mason’s route (the most character progression B1-B3) and wanna find out what happened to him before memory block. I’m equally curious about Nate’s second set of abilities and how it all gonna blow up spectacularly at some point with all the ensuing drama. With Adam the only thing I’m wondering about at this point is whether after he and MC finally sleep together (if it ever happens) he’ll run away and disappear for three years.
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Isn’t Douglas on desk duty? That would explain the amount of paperwork, but yeah I picture Wayhaven as Stars Hallow from Gilmore Girls: a single coffe shop where everyone goes, few random shops, etc. so the amount of paperwork isn’t really justify unless the detective has to report to both the captain and the mayor doing two very different reports 
Same, the detective is in shock and wounded, with blood spilling everywhere and instead of taking them to a doctor, the detective is chilling in their bedroom until the RO offer some balm or a shower 
I think that’s one of those scenes the author wanted to be there even if it didn’t make much sense.
That’s why I think A’s backstory needs to have something more to support the trauma, I understand the guilt but 900+ feeling that miserable and no one, at any point, had offered therapy?? We know A is super stubborn but still.
If they ever get to that point A will leave the unit 
there’re already hints that the detective could take their place in the future so…
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A small town government requiring a ridiculous amount of paperwork to be done so that everybody in the food chain gets to feel important is like the most realistic thing in the series.
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I don’t know if this has been asked and answered already, but is there going to be a selection of body type for the MC at some point?(lean, athletic, built, curvy, etc)
Sure, but the food chain above you is literally two people: the Mayor and the Captain.