I liked N better than F in b3, too. Not sure if it’s because it was that much better or because I’m getting to the point where I find F grating, though.
B1, my fave was M. Really, looking back, they all kind of sucked in b1, due to all the lying. N was better than the other three for the fact that N didn’t want to lie–but failed because they didn’t have spine enough to stand up to A about it until Murphy already had some of the MC’s blood.
B2… I like M best. N deciding to wait until after the mission for a date reminded me of Kaidan mentioning regs after sex with Shepard in ME1, and anything that reminds me of Kaidan needs to be punted across a football field.
B3… M is the obvious winner. Dimmed by what’s coming, but it was awesome. After you guys pointed out that M wasn’t the one taking half a shot, it was even better…
After M, I’d say N is a very far second. F is somewhere below that. And A is sitting in the lowest layer of hell, burning…
I have no idea. I think she just wants to use certain words for the metaphor, not because they actually make sense. That’s just my take on it, though. The thing with A’s eyes makes no sense at all, unless they change color.
M was a dick, but the bluntness drew me (and my MC) in, whereas N was dancing around the truth, F was being a mannerless prick, and A was the absolute worst. Well, like I said before, they all sucked.
That’s funny.My A-mancer did get that scene and it was kind of funny. I want her to leave Rebecca behind so she can be at the auction, though. I didn’t bother diving in the code for anyone’s route but M’s, and want to see what happens with A.
F and N are the nice ones at the start, yeah. There’s a reason my organic play results in an N BFF in any route where they’re not the RO. Still, M still doesn’t top the shitlist, because SOMEONE ELSE has the fucking gall to chastise you for spending 2 minutes consoling a grieving mother because “it detracts from hunting the murderer” while sitting on the murderer’s actual photograph*.
And also not much happens, relationship-wise (not “relationship” as in romance, “relationship” as in the “way these people are connected to each other”). B1 is nearly all “meet the archetypes”, which, fair.
snrk Also, ooooh, a new format tag , yay!
Oh, thanks. I mean, I’m still not seeing it because that would require me to flirt with a slaver, and I’d rather frenchkiss the captain than do THAT, but it gives me hope that something will break in B4 as well.
I think the descriptor change might be metaphorical, with “cool” being an upgrade from “icy”. Does it show up when A is nicer to you (in preparation to be an even bigger asshole)? I don’t care enough about the A route to pay that much attention to it.
*this is why I’m surprised when so many A-mancers reach the end of A3 and go, “oh no, A is so terrible this book”. THIS book? What A does this book is the same thing they did in the previous two.
I mean, they’re all kinda settling into their respective, albeit adjusted, tropes:
A: ice queen/ice king who will resist their feelings until hell freezes while giving mixed signals
N: the nice one with a dark side we have yet to see
F: the over exuberant “kid” of the group that has no manners or ability to read a room
M: the horny moron with a heart of gold… once you can find it and get them to stop flip flopping from stupid and horny to decent
Why would this reaction not be part of the game/response to the question? It’s not like M likes “animal food” which would include something as astringent as alcohol. A shot is pure alcohol, typically. It isn’t a cocktail.
Also, no more “shivers of wanting” in the story, please.
The cool emerald gaze seems to appear when A is turned on by the MC.
puts on mining helmet Gear up, lads, we’ll have to dig deep for this one!
Saruman voiceover: The M-mancers delved too greedily and too deep. You know well what they awoke in the darkness of Morgan-dûm: affection and love.
Then it’s probably metaphorical, going from “icy” to “cool” signifying a warming up of A towards the Detective.
Hahahahahaa “shivers of wanting”. I want everyone to stop touching my bottom lip w their thumb…I kept thinking “great, now we have crazy blood AND Covid…”
Given M's conversation with A, it may well have been a dare:
“She’s fine. Or will be, anyway.” He drags his fingers through his hair. “She’s been through way too much shit.”
“Agreed,” Adam states, a frown dragging his brows down. “The worst part is I am unsure that it will get any better for her.” He nods at Mason. “I am relieved to know she has you.”
“She has all of us,” Mason replies.
Adam arches a brow. “Of course. But you know that I did not mean it in the same way.”
“I know.” A small smile catches Mason’s lips. “Let’s just hope she’s as relieved to have me too.”
The team leader rests a warm hand on Mason’s shoulder, but only for a brief moment before pulling it away. “That is something you will have to ask for yourself.”
“It’s a shame I’m too much of a fucking coward to find out then, isn’t it?” He chuckles, but it’s weak and hollow. Fearful, almost.
And the fact that M waited until the MC was watching to do it, makes it seem even more intentional.
And the stuff Tina had at the party was particularly strong–the MC complained and asked if it was window cleaner. If it hurt the MC that much to drink, can you imagine what it did to M?
WTF is a shiver of wanting, anyway? I think this is one reason a lot of scenes fall flat for me–the descriptions of physical responses to everything from a look to accidentally brushing against the ROs are so done to death that they stop having any meaning.
That said, I like the references to magnetism, feeling drawn, that kind of thing, especially if all this is in relation to the soul bond. It works. But the shivering, shuddering, stuttering, breath hitching, sucking in a breath… it doesn’t have to go completely, but it would be nice if my brain wasn’t constantly being battered with those words. Especially when most of my MCs are sneering at it in certain situations.
Can we just use some explosives and blow it out? snickers
Dezh is in desperate need of this from Mason. This book got her addicted, I’m afraid…
I was actually wondering: since the vampires have extraordinary healing abilities, perhaps that prevents them from getting sick/viruses/bacteria. So…how often do they wash their hands? Ever? And if they don’t need to because they aren’t going to get sick…how much disinfecting would the warehouse need in order for the MC to stay there without becoming deathly ill all the time?
Though, it could be really sweet for the LI to tend to the MC for two weeks while they get over a major cold.
But is your detective constantly sticking their fingers all over someone’s face and mouth? I’m not a germophobe by any means, but I just don’t find it sexy I guess. Especially since they all do it. Like they all read the same “Romancing a human for dummies” book or something.
“He eyes me for a long moment, glancing down at the shot in his hand.”
“I watch him swig the alcohol…”
Looks at MC < looks at shot < takes shot
MC is the reason for that shot.
Right? My thoughts exactly. Apparently the alcohol was Everclear, or something. For M to take a shot of something like Everclear…well, that means the act of taking the shot is:
purposeful
means something important
I have no idea! This?
I
I was wondering about this in stories, how does it work for you when the action is stated but the MC’s physical response to it is left out? Does it let the reader kind of determine what they imagine the MC’s reaction is, or does it make the text feel a little dry?
I’m thinking of something like, if a character walked up behind my MC and whispered into their ear, that would certainly send shivers down their neck, but would this need to be stated? Or can the audience make up this idea in their own heads?
This probably answers my above question! Too much feels tiring and too little feels a little dry.
Ideally, I prefer to my MC have a response depending what your MC’s current feeling toward the RO. It’s much interesting and catered to the reader’s playstyle. But in reality, it is not 100% feasible unless you don’t want your work not seen the light of day. ^^;
I don’t see how it can be any other way, but if M is going to shift back to horny moron mode, then it can’t have been intentional. Unless they get a head injury or something. Or something horrible happens to make M question it? Which will make me start snapping furniture like A does…
Exactly. I also like it when a character’s thoughts help build the emotion. It takes more words to do this but, may times, it works better than roiling stomachs or having a seizure every time the LI walks into a room.
In fact, I don’t even think the overuse of the physical reactions would feel as bothersome if the thoughts helped build to it. This lady explains it well by presenting an example.
I agree with this as well. Having a “current attitude” stat would help, really. Like being able to choose when your MC stops being angry about things or feels happy. Feels more open. I get that it would be impossible to do this to cover every reaction to every little thing, but for the bigger moments (like having your LI want to kiss you and immediately dump your ass, or being called a cumbucket, for example), it would help make the emotion deeper and help develop the interactions between characters more.
I wouldn’t blame you. Plot-forced memory loss doesn’t sound like fun, except to explain M’s past.
I think your husband is right, the MC is epileptic.
Wonderful article. And that example…that’s a really powerful example. Need a breather after that one. That was really well done. Just going to slip this into my writer’s toolbox.
