The Unwanted Warrior [UPDATED 6/1]

gender-choice
low-fantasy
young-adult-fiction

#1275

OH MY GOD! I FORGOT ABOUT OUR WOLF. Will our wolf be back on chapter 3 as well or will they find us?


#1276

Please tell me the wolf comes for us!


#1277

Your wolf will find you, don’t worry :smiley:


#1278

Good to hear! Now I really hate the Queen!


#1279

Ah, that’s too bad, I actually was pretty motivated to stay and fight the corruption from the inside. But I can definitely understand the difficulty of having to write two entirely different routes with basically nothing in common between them.


#1280

Aww… darn. And here I was hoping the MC could take them when they left.


#1281

Can’t fault you for making things a little simpler for you. I still appreciate that the choice would impact their relationships.


#1282

Hmm, anyone else wondering if the ability to talk to animals extends to fish?

You could have an animal army, navy, and air force.


#1283

I mean… it’s possible right?


#1284

After King Henry took the throne, Calethyia got more stronger than ever.
Delete more, maybe write: Calethyia became stronger than ever before.

He’s very peaceful and good leader
Add an a between He’s and very

King Henry has very hostile relationship
Add an a between has and very

42 years ago, King Andre of Masven has occupied some part of Calethyia land which is called Rosefield.
Had occupied or just occupied.
Maybe change what’s after it to: a part of Calethyia’s land called Rosefield
Or: occupied Rosefield, a land belonging to
Calethyia

This is on the first page. I found other typos and sentences that could be rearranged to sound better but I didn’t bother to write them down, sorry :yum:


#1285

I’m sure the queen will break Leo’s heart as cruelly as she can!


#1286

i kinda want a hesitant option for the Abigail crypt scene especially since we have the queen trying to kill us via Blair. The MC could have an increase in the pessissism stat as they could accept her apology but is doubtful of her sincerity and wonders if the queen asked either of her children to lull the MC in false sense of security, only to betray them later.


#1287

So the queen is trying to kill MC. Leonora, Eleanor and Abigail will get upset about it. Don’t know what James feel


#1288

Indifferent probably, since he can “empathize” with the MC’s predicament but doesn’t give a flying :pie: about us


#1289

I’d like a choice like that for the MC.


#1290

Well, seeing James’ behavior with the MC. Its seem that he doesn’t really give a crap about MC, like Alexander.


#1291

UPDATE 11/11

Finally, you meet Queen Erica and Marcus :slight_smile: You will know about their traditions, beliefs and secrets in this and next updates. Let me know what is your first impression of Erica and Marcus. Also, please, inform me about typos/bugs/mistakes. Thank you!

By the way, welcome to Aithria!


#1292

Hey, I liked the update very much but I couldn’t get past the part where you talk with Queen Erica because of this bug


#1293

After meeting up with the other queen. Choices gibs error.

What will you tell her? Choose your words carefully.

“It wasn’t my intention to come here. But I had no where to go after I escaped from an assassination.”

“I’m stronger and smarter than you think I am.”

“Well, I’m still alive, amn’t I?”

All choices leads to startup line: 4422 non-existent variable ‘erica’


#1294

Bug is fixed. :slight_smile: