The Unwanted Warrior [UPDATED 10/2]

young-adult-fiction
low-fantasy
gender-choice

#1784

Is there a reason to why Katherine and king Azra hate the mc?


#1785

You can :smiley:

No spoiler :zipper_mouth_face:

Thank youu :blush:


#1787

I dont think u can ask that


#1788

Dear i have question but you dont have to answer if its spoiler between all of the RO is marcus the eldest one and what is the age of the MC


#1789

Pretty sure 18 years old


#1790

a bit late, but oh well…here u go


#1791

Honestly I was so confused when our older sister called us a coward when the queen told her we ran away. My mind was screaming 'BITCH YOUR MOTHER TOLD US SHE WAS GONNA KILL US AND U JUST… AHHH!!! '. Thank u for listening to me vent really getting into the story ^o^


#1792

did you bond with her when you went hunting? i havent played the demo for a long time but im pretty sure if you bond with her and not take leonora she understands why you leave also she understands if you bond with her during hunting and take leonora but she then hates you for taking leonora


#1793

This game is soo good! Can’t wait to play the whole game❤ soo much potential! Can we take the wolf with us while fleeing the castle?


#1794

yes you can :slight_smile:


#1795

Please tell me how, I can’t manage to find it in the maester’s study when I go there during Alex’s speech.


#1796

i just replayed the demo upto the leaving part and i got to take luna with me when i decided to leave with eleanor the wolfs not in the maesters study eleanor has the wolf when you meet her


#1797

Alright. I’ve went through the demo once more to try and put some of my thoughts down from my more recent playthrough.

As I’ve stated before, this is merely my opinions as of now. It does not change the fact that this is a interesting concept and that the opening is stronger and more polished than before. And I really do like the nature of this story; I just feel like there are some parts that feel a bit rough for some reasons.

  • The King does not feel like a king. I do feel like the intention of how he seems portrayed is to show that while he is a king, he is still a flawed human being and there have been numerous occasions where the narrative states he is a ‘good king’. But I don’t see any evidence that really supports this claim that he’s a good leader and even more questionable evidence of him truly being a good family man. I’ve seen his selfishness. I’ve seen his lack of perceptiveness and planning ahead in action. But I haven’t seen reasons to really think this man is a good leader or for why the MC even calls him one (I’ll get back to the latter in a moment). All I see is a man filled with oddly naive hope that makes him seem even more out of touch with the family and numerous situations at times and not in any form of control. In a weird way, he at times feels a little like Alex (not in regards of hostility; more like their leader ship skills and ability to deal with family are questionable).

  • There doesn’t seem to be strong enough reasons to feel anything for the animals. And this is coming from a animal lover. I loves wolves and have enjoyed the company of horses in the past, but I have yet to see a reason to be given to feel any form of attachment toward either the wolf or the horse in the story. Neither one has been shown to have much of a personality and, in the horse’s case, I don’t see a reason to trust him much because I don’t know him the way the MC apparently does (again, more on that latter).

  • The powers still feel like the come out of left field. Anna may have made a very odd allusion to the matter before her own death (and later, it is explained in more detail by the Queen), but the King seemed to have no awareness of the nature of the powers themselves (yet, seemed more aware about it on his deathbed? I’ll admit, I’m still a bit confused about this part). Nor do we get any other allusions to the powers outside when they just surfaced up sporadically one day for the MC. Maybe if there were small hints of the MC’s developing skills during their childhood (like maybe we see first signs of it with the horse when they’re both young) or seeing that the King harbors some special skill of his own to allude to the fact that a number of other rulers have something similar? I’ll be frank, I don’t know what a good answer to this situation is (will think more on it).

  • There are moments of explaining when explanation isn’t needed in too much depth. Explaining certain matters directly is useful in some situations, but in others it can be lessened somewhat. I’ll use the

“Does the Queen know where you are?” Anna asks, startles him with her voice. Henry clears his throat, shakes away the terrible thoughts.

“It’s none of her concern,” Henry says through the gritted teeth. It’s very obvious that Henry has no feelings for Elizabeth. The only reason why he married with her was to protect his people.

Like a good leader.

“She’s your wife,” Anna argues,keeping her voice low. “And the Queen of Calethyia.”

“She means nothing to me,” Henry shrugs with his shoulders, frowning slightly. “There’s only one woman I love and will love forever.”

Personally, I don’t think we need to be directly told about his opinions of the Queen because his actions themselves have told us (the “It’s very obvious that Henry has no feelings for Elizabeth. The only reason why he married with her was to protect his people. Like a good leader.” line is what I’m referring to). I can see that he doesn’t particularly care about the Queen just from the way he’s acting and conversation he is holding with his lover. It has happened a few times in story, but it’s not really a bad thing. Just that there are times when the characters actions or the way they hold a conversation explain what is going on well enough (kinda like ‘less is more’ thing) and may even be best to help the read connect with the situation more strongly (too much explaining can take the emotion out of a moment).

  • Disconnect with MC and player. Now I will fully admit this particular point is more personal than anything (maybe I have been somewhat spoiled by some of the other choose-your-own-adventure stories), but there have been moments where I’ve honestly paused because of the MC’s actions and thoughts and wondered ‘why’. It at times breaks the immersion as the Unwanted Warrior MC due to feeling like the MC is one a different wavelength at times (like what they feel is not what I’m feeling or how they act isn’t what I’d do).

  • Leo’s sudden harsh attitude comes kind of out of nowhere. The group has barely been gone that long or experience much hardship firsthand while on the run and the usually cheerful child goes and talks about how she’d do what the Queen did if put in that position (after having to deal with her father dying of natural causes)? It just seems a bit out of place to me (is her words supposed to act as foreshadowing that she’d be willing to kill her family at some point?)

This is just the bit I have at the moment that have come to my mind from the playthrough right now.


#1798

Ohhh, conversation time!!
If I may butt in on a couple of your points, some of it will just be my personal opinion though (mostly about story relates stuff, the more “technical” like having more time to develop a bond with the animals -arguably though, we have every chance to just disregard his advice until push comes to shove and we have to play along, and it was an animal that helped us escape so even trusting him has a basis- or explaining the obvious didn’t really bug me, but it’s solid advice)

I thought that was intentional, when reading through. Being a good ruler and being a good man don’t necessarily go hand-in-hand. And we are learning things from the MC’s point of view, which is limited and biased. I mean, We’re given to think he’s a good King, he’s kind to the MC, but so far we’ve only seen life on Palace grounds. Since MC is excluded from politics and the court in general, and with most people shunning them as “the bastard”, wouldn’t it make sense that they wouldn’t really know what kind of a ruler their father was?
Maybe that’s why Alex is they way he is (even if the King is wise enough to see on his deathbed that Alex is not right for the throne, it could all be hindsight. He was a selfish man, he was a naive man and and maybe now at the end he can see his mistakes in Alex, even recognize his own over the years, but hindsight is 20/20 as they say and now it’s too late) In any case, I assumed it was the unreliable narrator that gave us the opinion that the King was a good one -though we as readers can see why that (possibly) doesn’t really stand- but we still haven’t had an outsider’s opinion really. That was the impression I got, anyway, just my two cents on the topic. Hopefully, we’ll be able to build a more concrete idea about him as we learn more about the past.

I’d actually asked that when the “rulers have powers” thing was revealed, and @NutellaQueen clarifies not every ruler has powers. So he couldn’t have known about the MC’s powers (unless Anna had said something? I guess?). If he did, we still have no idea how magic is viewed yet -we’ll probably see more about this later down the line- maybe he knew, although I don’t recall him giving any hint as to that.
Found the quote:

As for

I thought it was her Mother’s influence (to whatever degree she has managed to influence her). We don’t really see much about Leo’s personality before leaving, Abigail was the sensitive one. But Leo, we’ve seen she’s rebellious, has a strong sense of will, that she’s more of a fighter (in spirit, at least, give my baby time to train), but I don’t think that her ability to emotionally detach herself from a situation and go for the hard decisions is out of the blue. Especially since she left her entire family, her own mother even -and usually children are pretty attached to their mothers at such a young age- to come with us. Let’s not forget that, while the Queen loves her children, she is a very hard, sometimes even cruel, person. One brother is a callous man, the second one is secretive with his emotions and her sister is submissive enough to go with whatever the rest do, so most of the figures in her life are hard people. I don’t think there’s a way that wouldn’t rub off on Leo, considering she spend most of her time with that side of the family. The foreshadowing thing you mention though hadn’t crossed my mind, now I’m so worried about her!


#1799

The best kind of time in the forums. :grinning:

I’m all for hearing someone’s alternate views (and everything I’ve been posting is mostly just my personal opinion in the first place).

The explaining the obvious isn’t honestly all that a major thing (and can be fixed relatively easily). But it does at times seem to make the flow of the story slow down in a awkward way, kinda like when a musician plays a note off before recovering to the right track. And there’s just some information that doesn’t need to be constantly repeated; I already know that the half siblings and the stepmother have no fondness for MC and give them a hard time with being told every few times in the chapters. And that explaining kind of gets in the way of the chance of making the moment a emotional one that makes the reader better connect with the world and the MC’s situation.

I think the case of the animals not having a noticeable personality bothering me is due to the fact that the Unwanted Warrior MC’s power seems linked to understanding animals in the first place. If the powers revolves around that, you would surface in a somewhat noticeable way (don’t have a full grasp as how these ruler powers manifest and work).

I’m honestly a little surprised that the power didn’t play a role in the MC’s childhood. It sounds like a good time to introduce it and maybe even a better time to introduce; like, maybe the horse (who could come from a strong line of horses meant for rulers) was originally meant to be for Alex, but wasn’t responding to him well and ended up connecting with MC due to their power. That would not only give MC and the horse at least some history, it could play into something that feds that fear and resentment that Alex has about MC taking things away from him. I’d also say people too, but the only really noteworthy ones that MC bonds with before Blair and Leo is the King; seems like everyone else was more focused on Alex (not that the boy was in a state of mind to notice it).

A valid point to make on the matter. But then I would argue that if the intention is to truly have this be this way, it would feel more believable if we could see the king at his best with the MC more often. I’d personally be able to buy into the idea that this is the case. But it feels like we see the worse sides far too often.

And this is going to sound bad, but I kinda don’t like the King because of it. Granted I give him points for not intentionally abandon his child or holding his lover’s death against the baby. But the few moments the MC has with him don’t feel particularly strong enough to view the guy as the father and it makes the flaws in the guy worse. I actually disliked the way he tried to justify his actions (rather than acknowledges where he had kind screwed up) if MC calls him out on how being left on their own made them a easy target or how cheating on the Queen in the first place. Especially wasn’t keen how he laughed if the MC tells him Abigail hates them; that kinda came off as insensitive toward the MC’s feelings and complete disregard to family situation in general.

We don’t see him try enough as a king or a father and it kinda makes him a little unlikable. I do sort of wish he could be portrayed as a believable, component king at least rather than a selfish man who makes impulsive decisions and is extremely inattentive to the state of his family.

Again though, that is more personal taste.

I hope so too.

He does seem to kinda know about it. He made mention of how the MC was stronger than they thought, how he wanted to make them the ruler rather than Alex, and how he knew more about the situation with Anna (either when his child greets him in a distant manner or during his deathbed).

I could be reading the situation wrong, but that’s how it comes off to me.

Again, valid points. I personally just see Leo as willful and rebellious though, not harsh in a cold manner like that. And I still think not enough hardship or time passes for that kind of hardship to take place.

I think @NutellaQueen mentioned that Leo would be upset if MC ever hurt the family. Not sure if that changed, but if it hadn’t, it makes her reaction to that moment even more odd.


#1800

Like I said, it’s a valid point to bring to attention -I personally didn’t really notice it, but this is the good thing about having a lot of minds working together, like in this forum- I didn’t think it hurt the progression, it’s good advice!

I’m still holding back my judgement on this. Since we don’t yet know how magic works in this world yet, maybe it was a maturity/age thing -MC’s powers may not have been ripe enough for more than the glimpses we already have. Someone will have to explain now that it’s revealed more people have these abilities (my money’s on Erica taking the role if only -taking the worst case scenario- to have influence over the MC)

I’m playing the Devil;s advocate, I know, but consider that, however bad at everything The King is -get that man a parenting manual- he’s her only source of affection. It would make sense if they’ve idealized it in their head and held onto this, like trying to turn Fool’s Gold into the actual thing.
It’s not a bad to view him the way you do, hell half the time I wanted to shake him and ask if he had a little too much liquid lunch or if he’s just so naive, but looking at everything, I think he was so hell-bent on holding on the hope that everything will just turn out okay, he tried to ignore the problem out of existence. Stupid move, but one we all make on occasion.
While it would be nice to see more father-child quality time, unfortunately royal parents being mostly absent was not uncommon (the original “the wi-fi went down, so I went to spend time with the family. They seem like nice people” meme).
As you said though, it is personal opinion, or rather, methinks there are as many explanations -not excuses- as there is dissatisfaction for his actions and choices.
I mean look at Alex, he’s the perfect mirror of his father’s worst qualities (if dialed up to 11 thanks to mummy dearest)

I thought that was a comment on the MC’s personality, the way it was phrased. Alex has been established as weak-willed up to this point, I thought this was Father’s recognition that no things did not turn out fine and the MC has gone through a lot, but has still come out a strong person.
I mean, as far as I saw, there was never a mention of strange events on the MC’s part like hearing voices (I stayed to train Leo which I think is the first time you hear the crow talking about the hunters, but they never mention it anywhere)

Hmmm, I’ll have to replay it to read that part again, but it didn’t come off to me as harsh, given that -correct me if I’m wrong cause it’s been some time since I read it- Erica says it was the law of her people so she had to go with what they wanted regardless of her feelings. So I took it more like “it had to be done” situation (which is mature for her age agreed, but especially judging by the scenes we get with the queen and her children and the way Leo has enough of mind to go against it, I think she’s heard more than was appropriate for her age, forcing her to mature faster anyway. In a family like the one described here, I’d be surprised if she were naive, sadly)

I hope that’s the case, I don’t wanna kill anyone, just let the MC live in a hut with all the animals and Leo, it would break my heart if the baby sister turned cruel like the rest


#1801

(I’ll go back to the rest of the post; just wanted to focus on this part for the moment).

This remark actually brings up a line that brought up one of my biggest ‘why’ moments in regards to the MC. When they head off to leave with Eleanor (alongside anyone else they bring along), the MC looks back to the kingdom, contemplates to themselves and ending their thoughts with.

But you know that one day you will come back.

You will come back to take what is yours.

I do understand that narrative wise, we are likely going to be returning to the kingdom for some reason. But for those who have been actively choosing choices that pretty much are ‘I intend to leave this place’, that end thought makes very little sense. There doesn’t seem to be enough good reasons for MC to WANT to return willingly to a place that has been nothing but cruel to them (even less so if they take Leo with them). And for a player who has little interest in actively returning to the place (for various personal reasons), that line can come off kind of odd for someone who actively chosen options that express a desire to leave the kingdom and their old life behind. :sweat_smile: