The Unbeheaded (Thai folklore/historical inspired WIP)

Hi, longtime lurker here. You can call me O (just a letter O). Lately, I have had a lot of free time on my hands. So, I decided to try writing an IF game called ‘The Unbeheaded’ inspired by Thai mythology, folklore, the supernatural, and just Thai culture in general.

In this game, you play as a disgraced Executioner, spared from the death penalty. Forced to work for your new master and atone for your past mistakes. Utilize the skills you inherited from your late father to fight, kill, execute, and exorcise both the living and the dead. Will you move past your father’s shadow and forgive yourself? Or will you sink into it?

This game is very, very early WIP and it’s only about 10k words at the moment. I don’t have much experience in creative writing or coding, and English isn’t my native language either. So, progress might be slow, but hopefully, I will get better with time.

Demo link: https://dashingdon.com/go/16211

Synopsis

In the aftermath of a civil war, the defeated pretender is vanquished, and the newly crowned King brings with him the promise of a peaceful era. However, not all is well. The scar of war runs deep. Many great and powerful sorcerers perished in the conflict, their restless souls roam the earth, seeking to possess a new body to exact retribution for their untimely demise. Meanwhile, many wicked men, emboldened by the post-war chaos, seize the opportunity for their selfish gains.

Once an Executioner in service to the pretender. You fought alongside your father, spending a year fighting and executing for the pretender. But now, with your father dead and everything lost, you face a death sentence by beheading. You are supposed to die by beheading. But miraculously, you survive the execution and are saved from further prosecution by the woman whose brother you unjustly executed.

Forced into service under your new master, you are tasked with hunting down malevolent spirits and healing the scars of war. Most importantly, you are tasked with reconciling with the woman who would love nothing more than to see you suffer, seeking forgiveness and redemption for your past sins.

Features (May be subject to change)
  • Play as male or female (female character will face some form of misogyny)
  • Play as an executioner and a sorcerer in the world inspired by historical 17th century Thailand.
  • Fight using the strength of your body, the sharpness of your mind, and the power of magic.
  • Choose a tattoo to complement your power and a secondary magic skill to assist you in your quest.
  • Perform an execution ritual.
  • Guide your MC to the path of forgiveness and reconcile with Netr.
ROs (Coming Soon)
Content Warning

This game contains descriptions of violence, abuse, sexism, and misogyny.

To do list
  • Expand on the RO description and their art.
  • Finish chapter 1, including character customization and flashbacks to the war.
  • Include glossary and description of some terms.
  • Improve the continuity and readability.

I am open to all forms of criticism and suggestions. But I am mostly concerned with typos, grammatical errors, and the tone and flow of the story. I am looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this game.

So thank you and have a nice day!

PS. To all my fellow SEAs people out there. Congratulations on surviving the summer this far.

86 Likes

I like this but give me the chance and I will kill Netr she try’ed to make me beg

10 Likes

Exactly hate her already :face_exhaling::face_exhaling:

7 Likes

Lots of potential so far. A bit too short to judge beyond that but I like it for now.

2 Likes

Still playing the concept has my intrest biggest issue ive seen so far is at the execution and the king and lady our talking about us. Playing a woman it starts off with correct pronouns but quickly starts using male pronouns alot.

5 Likes

It’s still too early in development to nitpick too much, but detached seems like a strange choice of stat for a game where I’m intended to want to seek redemption- alongside the fact the character so far generally doesn’t act very detached even when choosing the options to be so, such as still struggling with desire for survival even if you accept your death twice over and thanking nobody in particular after eating which implies they are thankful just for surviving even if you’ve confirmed your character was prepared to meet their end.

Netr also gave me some tonal whiplash at the end of the demo when going from wanting me to beg for food like a dog to reassuring me we’re almost there and telling me to hang in there. That was a very abrupt change of tune.

Just my thoughts. The story is interesting though, so I’ll keep an eye out for updates. Good luck with your project.

6 Likes

Thanks for the feedback. So, detached is used to represent the word in Thai “ปล่อยวาง” which approximately translates to “letting go” and it means to let go of what you can’t control. In this game, I kinda want detached to mean more of an attitude of fighting for what can be controlled but accepting what can’t but I do agree that it runs counter to some of your MC thoughts and action. So, I will see if I should change the name of the stat or rewrite some scenes.

I intend to rewrite that scene longer and give her more time to develop her attitude but after some feedback, I will probably rewrite the whole food scene a little, thanks for the heads-up.

2 Likes

I actually understand the concept.People who are the executioners, no matter if they’re on the good side.Or the bad side doesn’t matter.That’s why they wear the hood to cover their face because every time they commit to execution.Someone in the crowd is going to have some petty revenge.Or hatred for them

1 Like

@OHH got the chance to finish my initial playthrough an had some questions/thoughts. The biggest is perhaps why does the MC feel and think they are a murderer and is in need of redemption? From what i have seen so far they were in a civil war for what ever the reasoning there father and themselves ended up being on the losing side. So i can understand the winning side and exspecially the daughter of the man that we apparently notably killed thinking us a murderer and traitor.
Yet the MC themselves thinking so? At the moment i dont see the why hence i hope we get to see the why of it that explains the thought process let alone why would want forgiveness from those whom were the enemy.

Other then that once the gender issues are resolved and the afore mentioned stuff by others get fixed up this will be a awesome start. :smiley: i look forward to seeing more. Also were you thinking of javibg flash backs? Particularly the why joined the father and choosing sides and most exspecially why we killed who we did.

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A closer English word to what you’re going for may be acceptance, but it could have different connotations from what you’re looking for. A thesaurus may be useful in such a case.

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Thanks for the feedback. So, our MC didn’t just kill the brother of Netr but we ‘execute him’ without good causes and also just generally war trauma and survival guilt. More details with be reveal later in a civil war flashback where you get to kill people.

Maybe if you think i should dial down on the MC feeling bad about themselves or explain more?

2 Likes

Thank you! Oh my god why didn’t i think of that.

2 Likes

Hmm kinda hard for me to say at the moment my intial problem of thought with it is we as a reader lack the context for such thoughts. Not to say they arent valid but it is but one way a potential MC may view things.

So it might be good idea to add context sooner rather than later into the story before getting to deep so it flows well. As well depending on how many variations of a MC you wish to write about through the story and any potential growth or not they may have.

Because it doesnt change our place in the storys start or even the end destination at end game in of itself but it does and could potentially change how we get to it all. Not to mention how the greater world of the story views us and comes to view us in the end.

2 Likes

I enjoyed the game, I hope you allow us to take revenge for these humiliations

1 Like

Sounds interesting can’t wait to play

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Personally, I don’t think you need to dial it down. You got the concept of an executioner down by the t. Even to this era, we still have these types of individuals who have to do the dirty work They might have a personal bias or not.They’re just doing their job.An executioner is not a bad person It’s just a job and the job It’s all right. The most difficult one. It’s just the individual who is doing it.Some might have a Disgusting thrill over it or mournful and respectful way of doing it. It just depends on the executioner. My executioner is not guilty or upset.He just accepts his fate because of a job he was doing and knowing it might become his last knowing the lifestyle He was leading, including his father. People might think of him disgusting individual But in reality. He is the most Realistic and not Angry.individual in the room like his father raised him Because in reality. Of the medieval century People were forced into this lifestyle Even if they didn’t want to It could be a forced one or Taken job. But someone’s gonna do it. I’m sorry, my nerd history. Geek lifestyle led to this. But personally, I want to know how our character does the executions Sitting in the story. The sword thing execution, it was barbaric. Does our This spot like unneeded slow paste Execution.

3 Likes

Very interesting story idea. I really liked the mythical setting with the yakshas and all…wondering if there will be more along that route…gandharvas or nagas perhaps?

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Spoiler: Gandharvas themselves are not physically present in the story (for a reason that will be explained later). As for Nagas, I plan to include them at some point but right now I’m not sure when and where.

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OHH I have something to say are we gonna meet? Other executioners that are from the other side. Or people who supported our character faction In other Towns and villages Still might support them or Feel sorry for our character. Personally, this is a Civil War. Over pretender or not. There will always be people who use to support that group even though they lost. That means a living squalor. And hatred by the other faction. That means the guards might be a little bit rough with them. I wanna see that. And how our handler handles seeing that behavior from their side. Because I’m always saying one point of view. Right now and I want to see the other Because, in all redemption stories, I only see one point of view. Not the other.

2 Likes

There is no plan to include another executioners at the moment but we will see how the story develop. As for people on the our side? Yes there will be some character on our side (if they are still alive)

Also, I feel like I have to explain how politic, religion, philosophy and just general believes in 17th century Thailand because it is quite different from say renaissance europe.

I will write up a full explanation later but as for your question about the people who support the pretender. Most serfs don’t know who they serve or care that much so mostly they are left alone. As for nobles most of them would be kill out right or forced into exile so chances are most of them wouldn’t be here in the story.

6 Likes