The Sword of Rhivenia: Book One (Submitted)

He’s charming and competent even if he pretends otherwise. When your MC is nice to him, he’s also nice to them. I too enjoy being lazy and drinking.

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and he’s like 20+ years older than the MC

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Oh definitely! That’s why I said it didn’t make sense for him to be an RO in my original post. As a human person in my mid 30s, I think he sounds like a cool dude to chill with.

Edit: That said, I’m totally here for a problematic age gap marriage of convenience political alliance in my fiction!

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Will you be able to excute RO’s if going down a more villainous path or atleast throw them into the dungeon?

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I really like it, my only pet peeve is that the way the kids …don’t act or talk like kids at all.

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Im assuming you are talking about the siblings and the MC, well they all receive high quality education considering the fact that each of the siblings has an chance to become the ruler, and all of the siblings are older than you but i could see what you mean though, freya is just soo naive (but then again she never cared for getting an real position of power and doesn’t have any ambition outside of banging an pirate)

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Oh, I understand they received high quality education, but there is still some things that i can’t quite point out that give that impression.

For exaple, education definitely will make the kid have a very protocolarly talk for the situations they have been tought, but they would still have a more “childish” way of talking outside that (if you talk with a kid you’ll notice how they “structure” their sentences differently), and they’re also much more shallow in the kind of analysis they do unlike the ones written here. And while kids can be ambitious, they don’t tend to express it in such cynical and cold ways as say, Atheris. Neither I see Freya “knowing” she’s using her art to express her hopelessness.

In particular, is a combinatio of they feeling a bit like “defining characteristic” and being siblings at the same time. While adults can be consumed and it doesn’t feel so jarring, for a kid to be like that you would need a very strong experience, but this being siblings that have had more or less the same education in a more or less not traumatic enviroment, they seem completely consumed by this characteristics, when they share a similar background (unlike, say, the cynical one being shaped by a life of hardship and traumas)

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I’m DYING at the fact that I just lost 2% of my relationship with my brother for lightly teasing him about being cold :sob::joy::sob: He’s like those boys who wear shorts in the winter and insist they “don’t feel it” even though they’re shivering! What kinda fragile ego :joy::sob::joy:

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Sure but kids are always more emotionally developed in fiction then they are in real life. They need that increased mental capacity and more defined personalities in order for there to be actual story and meaningful character interaction.

Yeah realistically 10 year olds shouldn’t be as cynical or cold as Atheris is, but 10 year olds in real life are boring.

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I disagree with the traumatic part, I mean not seeing their father for 10 years is definetely an somewhat traumatic experience (EDIT : Yeah ignore the traumatic part i was wrong sorry) or just an event
that may mark an person forever since they didn’t have an present paternal figure (Outside of Arnold, The MC Really seems to have no paternal figure) and i dodn’t recall any mention of either Freya or Atheris being more visited by Charles (and thinking a little more about it maybe is why Atheris wants the throne? She wants to prove to Charles her value and that she is worthy enough to be considered his daughter or something)

Hell, Even Richard wants Charles to notice him even though he is the favorite and got visited by him more than the others.

But yeah i understand though what you mean though, sometimes they dodn’t really act like children and they share the same background like why isn’t Richard ambitious and cold like Atheris considering he is the first and is cleary favoured and comes from the same background as her?

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This is simply not true. While lacking a paternal figure does have an impact on personality, is by no means a traumatic event. Missing one after having it could be, but if you’ve never had one you don’t really miss it, ask any child of a single mother

I disagree, if the only “10 y/o” thing a character has is the number, why not make it older to begin with? Wouldn’t it be better to see us how their personalities evolve instead of being basically the same in the scenes where they’re 7,10 and 13?

And, I mean, look at freaking Goku in DB. He was special while still being absolutely childish

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Cause people are different lol?

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@No_This_Is_Patrick there is that too lol, but i feel like should be more ambitious though, i mean he is the favorite child of the king afterall

Well i dodn’t know much of psychology but yeah i do recall seeing that it can cause some personality changes like you mentioned and thats why i putted the part that it could mark someone forever

But yeah i 100% agree on them changing their personalities a bit as time passes, People just dodn’t stay the same forever, like maybe Freya grows some more ambition in life but preffers to not persue the throne to stay in character

Why is referring to Richard by his first name at the beginning considered an ‘evil’ choice?

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Maybe because you are reminding him his name is Richard.

Being born with the name Richard (or any variant of) is a curse, a burden that he will carry with him for the rest of his life as everyone mocks him for all eternity. He won’t go one day without hearing some variant of:

“Richard? Haha so your name is Dick? LoL!”

Both my grandfather and my father were named Richard, I am eternally grateful that my father saw fit to let the curse end with him and name me something else.

Please be merciful to your brother, allow him a brief respite, and let him shove the thought of his given name to the back of his mind.

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I would assume it’s because the MC is “distancing” themself from him - he’s talking to him as if he was a stranger, or well, an unrelated person. While calling him brother shows affection, and that despite them being half siblings, the MC doesn’t care.

That being said, I do think it shouldn’t be considered “evil” per se, especially considering most siblings probably call each other by name, but it must be a question of tone.

That’s how I understood it, at least.

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It was more about that it was in front of his father :joy: He wanted to impress him by showing he can’t feel cold or something

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Hi! Stepping from my lurking corner to tell you that the GAME IS FRIGGING AMAZING!! I love how different and loveable the characters are, and the plot is roaring good ;3

On a side note, will there be beta-testing? Because I am so so interested

kisses

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Hey guys weird question, but what if king Charles was infertile? What then? Would they all adopt or would the queens be permitted to have another man?

Does the sword take this into consideration when it’s choosing a heir?

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