The Sunhold Coven 34k words (updated: 18/9/2024)

God damn it you somehow bring this out of me and why is it always something like this my role playing feelings kick in)* sitting in a mosque disgusting cell with an operating table enforced notes I was in the unfortunate category I am a witch but I’m an alchemist and a historian when I tried to yell out the words that this is just that maybe a disease I was immediately grabbed by the head beaten to the living edges of death until they drag me into this place demanding me to make a cure giving me unwilling test subjects from anyone from the lowest criminal to my own magical beings demanding answers and if they don’t get them they just start beating the living out of me and then one vindictive creature a woman who takes pleasure and torture she torments me with my own medical equipment and my tests the most saddest thing as I can’t feel sadness for the ignorant beings I believe this is just a normal disease like any other not a curse that’s what I truly believe no one with magical capabilities can do this much damage I just think like any other plague or outbreak this is the most unfortunate one that everyone is going to be taking the blame because they’re they have a certain skill set that the average person can’t handle so they shun them

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Sounds interesting can’t wait to build a coven for all witch’s

I hope we can have extremely bloody vengeance against everybody

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Interesting start! Looking forward to seeing the rest of the story unfold!

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I get the Kingdom of Ruin vibe from this…

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Starts to chuckle
How wonderful. Ah, sorry it is not insult but mostly how much I enjoyed this beginning…yes it always wonderful to see humanity’s greatest gift for advancement, hatred, clash with it’s supposed opposite and equal only earned through experience and prospective, that being compassion. It’s been awhile since I had something truly interesting in showing that contrast, without going too far at the beginning. You show the reality of people real well in this story.

I look forward to seeing more and I wish you luck

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I loved the update,

So everyone else in the dungeon has died already with the exception of Midora and mc that’s depressing rescue came too late.

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Love the update!! :heart: Can’t wait for more!! Midora is adorable.

Feedback: the conversations are all jumbled together in multiple areas which makes it harder to read; and honestly, having a large wall of unsegregated text when characters are speaking is overwhelming. So i’d say try breaking it up a little bit, so that it flows better during reading and helps differentiate between who’s talking.


Also right away I noticed the choices felt more limited this update, I feel like there was more variety in the first chapter. It’s up to you in the end, it’s only the first chapter so idk what you have planned but an example is maybe more cruel/hostile playful options, instead of just playful options made to “lighten the mood” for everyone.

I get they are helping but, MC has been locked up and tortured, we should be able not to care or worry about making others feel better.

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Really loved the update! Can’t wait for more!

I really love the story and the update, the characters are so sweet and their story (partly known) are intriguing :heart: the little shy/bold romance movements are adorable and funny :laughing: especially when you play a bold romance :grinning: and Lady is such a good girl :heart:

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That’s nice small detail that unique eye color prevent one of the breakout plot of being carried out, normally appearance doesn’t play much into story.

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Glad you liked it!
The options this chapter have been a bit more limited. This is mainly because there are a lot of important conversations that need to happen in order to drive the story along right now. I’ll probably add a few more conversation options as I keep writing, but they’ll come out with future updates.

I’ll also try to make the text more airy :slight_smile:

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Glad you enjoyedit!
Yeah, the warden has gone through a lot of prisoners. Her taking a particular liking to you is the only reason to why you are still alive at the beginning of the story.

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Having an unnatural eye color is like wearing a big red sign saying “magic folk here”, so it’ll definitely come in to play later in the story as well.

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I feel you are building a solid foundation for a good core in your narrative, @MaGran.

It gets harder and more involved the further you go, but by using multireplace (@{var var1|var2|var3}) and *If statements you should be able to do well.

I’ll be following your updates and posting when I have something to say.

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When trying to show stats after waking up after the torture by the warden it comes up with a error
Choicescript_stats line 34: it is illegal to fall into a *else statement; you must *goto or *finish before the end of the indented block

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I Love the demo so much :heart::heart:

Thanks for letting me know, I’ll look into it!

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