The silent one


#1

So im planning on writing a story called ‘The silent one’. Its a project i have been planning for many years and i want to start writing it around January. The story will be centered around a man who’s house gets broken into and he has acid thrown in his face (for a reason i plan to keep secret right now because its a major plot point), his wife is murdered. His has facial reconstruction surgery but he ends up having no mouth so the story would mostly be told through his thoughts on what actions he takes and on the people that impact him in his life. He wants vengeance on those who did this to him so he offers a homeless man who is well known to be an experienced in various forms of martial arts a room in his house in exchange for training. Their is much more to the story but only so much i can say in this brief description but i basically plan on making this my own ‘graphic novel’ of sorts with a lot more characters and making the ‘silent one’ an anti-hero. Their will be lots of gore if i do go ahead with this so this story will not be for the faint hearted :). What do you think of the plot ? post suggestions ?


#2

Are you planning for this to be a choice game?

“His wife is also raped and murdered.” I have a strong dislike of this trope, especially thrown in the way you just did.


#3

@fairygodfeather Maybe i do not have much skill at codeing and i agree but its sort of for the plot but i will remove the 'rape part from the description i did not mean to cause offence :slight_smile:


#4

I must second @FairyGodfeather: It is very much the sort of generic shock-value plot setting, which is often ham-fistedly inserted into a story, to move people into the “Feel sympathy” and “Prepare for vengeance” frame of mind. It would certainly need to be handled subtly, and originally, in order to escape this pitfall.

Edit: It’s not, strictly speaking, the inclusion of rape which is the objectionable characteristic. At least, not in my opinion. It is the obvious attempt to force pity that rape/murder/etc. lends itself to.


#5

@drazen obviously in the large scheme of things their would be much more to it when the story is fully written and the reader is able to get more into the depth of the character. It would be done with extreme discretion also as i do not take these sort of things lightly of course.


#6

@harveym66 It is worth paying particular attention to, since it is often the weakest point in these sort of stories. Law Abiding Citizen is a great example of this.


#7

I’d say think about the murder too. Think about the wife. It’s a trope that’s frequently used, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen it done well.

If you can replace “They raped and murdered his wife” with “they destroyed a prized heirloom given to him by his father” or “they killed his dog” then it’s being done wrong.

You’ve already got something extremely horrifying that they did to him.

Would a wife stay with him, looking as he did?
Would he want his wife to see him, looking as he now does?
Would a live wife be far more interesting to the story than a dead one?

I’m not suggesting that you follow this route, but for instance, if you’re looking to do the most horrifying things you can to him, in order to force him to seek revenge then why not have them actually done to him? Well clearly they can’t murder him.

Stories that have the main character’s wife raped, will never, ever contemplate having the same thing happening to their very straight hero. But I’d say both actions provide similar motivations to the hero. Rape is not always about sex or attraction, it can also be about power. Straight men do rape other men. So it doesn’t need to change your villain’s sexuality and preferably it won’t.

Or you could not lay a single finger on the wife. Give her the choice. Give him the choice. Make her watch as they throw acid in her husband’s face. And then leave him with the knowledge she did nothing to save him, and her with the knowledge she let it happen to her husband and that one day they might come back for her.

I’m not saying do the above. In fact I’d strongly suggest against any of it (especially the rape), but it’s an example of how to examine the story and see how certain changes could impact it.

Just look over your motivations yet again. Examine your story and see if you can do without a wife. Without killing off a wife. Why is each action taken? How does it impact the story.


#8

Also Why pc Has to be a boy in first place? this sound pc has to be a boy to rape and murder his wife . Why i couldnt be a woman than suffer a lost and want revenge? You empathize MAN the masculinity , why? like woman myself seem totally out of place.

Could women feel revenge desires yes

Could a woman be violent and kill yes , jail are filled with woman who kill someone…
So way has to be MAN ? its because a women has to be raped victimized and murder in your story?


#9

@Marajade Hmm, you know I’ve never seen a story where a woman’s had to watch as her husband is raped and then murdered and that being used as her motivations for getting revenge.

I don’t think this is going to be a game though, just a story, hence the male protagonist.


#10

I like the sound of it sounds interesting