The Shadow Society (WIP) Poll on #1178

gender-choice
nonbinary-inclusive
modern-fantasy

#1174

I’m so happy you’re back!! I’m so in love with this work, there’s just so much depth and detail and personality. You’re a wonderful writer and I know you’ve had to deal with things in real life, but we support you and will stick by you to the bitter(sweet) end X}


#1175

Very interesting to read all the theorizing about G’s character in particular, though of course I can’t say much about it :eyes:

@thenameslynith13 Aaah, thank you so much! That’s incredibly sweet of you and your words really gave me a motivational boost <3


#1176

“The Shadow Society” youtube channel!

Hey everyone!

Writing is still going, though I have little new to report. But in between writing, whilst still not wanting to leave TSS completely, I find working in other ways with the book that I find fun.

And so, I decided to make a TSS youtube channel.

I’m not sure exactly what will be up there yet, but I did make an unofficial book trailer using some existing footage from different movies as well as, with their permission, upload Snanners’ animatic that they made a while ago.

Follow this link if you’re interested


#1177

TSS Update 23/10 - 18

Hey everyone!

I know it’s been a while since the last update and I’m sorry for that.

My laptop got an issue a few weeks back and is now, hopefully, being repaired, but this means I haven’t been able to do a lot of writing. I’ve borrowed my mom’s laptop and written a small amount on TSS but since I don’t know yet if some of the scenes that I have on my own laptop are lost or not, I’m in a bit of a tricky situation since I don’t want to rewrite them if the people repairing the computer are able to save my files, but I also don’t like making such a big jump in the story and starting at chapter 10 before finishing chapter 9.

That being said, I decided that, since the laptop I own is quite big, it would be best if I leave it at home to avoid any further damage when I get it back, and so I bought a cheap, small laptop that I can easily bring with me and only use for writing. It should hopefully arrive this week which means I can continue writing soon! I’ll let you guys know asap when I’ve gotten back into it.

Another thing is that I’ve now got a Kofi. For those who don’t know, Kofi is essentially a place where you can make one time donations to creators etc. and since I figure a lot of people might not want or be able to become a patron (especially since I can’t offer any rewards for the time being), this would be an alternative for those interested.

Here’s the link if you want to check it out

Thank you all so much for your love and support <3


#1179

I can’t give you money but can wish you luck and good support hope you what you what right in this story


#1180

@Takashi_Shin And that really means the world to me :blush: I presented this more as an alternative for those who might want to or can but don’t feel comfortable with Patreon. But I wholly appreciate all of the support all of you show, in whichever way you show it :heart:


#1181

TSS Writing Update 2/11 - 18

So, I have some good news and bad news for everyone.

The bad news is that the laptop I ordered apparently was out of stock at the time I placed the order, and won’t arrive until the 20th of November, which makes continuing TSS a bit trickier.

But the good news is that I’ve still been able to keep writing on it, since I’ve been able to use the laptop from my parttime job as a transcriptionist!

I’ve had to do a bit of a jump in the story, since I still don’t know whether the files on my old laptop will still be there, so I’m currently writing the end of chapter 9 where some major secrets will unravel.

Hopefully I’ll be done with it relatively soon, and then it’s on to chapter 10~

Thank you all for the support, as always :heart:


#1182

I have no idea what these… things wants

Prologue: Should be want. Subject-verb agreement.

Somethings not right here… Those shadows were definitely real.
Ugh, I must have had a glass too many last night…

Ch1 choice: Something isn’t right or Something’s not right here here is the proper term.
Suggestion 2nd choice: I must have had one glass too many. or I must have drank too much last night.

I let out a yelp of pain when my head hits the floor

What is a yelp of pain? You can simplify this into saying that the MC yelled when their head hit the floor. Tip: Using too many words can sometimes make it hard for your audience to visualize your writing. Be concise.

I let out a yelp of pain when my head hits the floor. Instinctively I try to clutch it, but my arms are tangled into some kind of fabric, hindering my movements.
The shock of the sudden collision forces me to open my eyes in a flash, and the realization makes my eyes widen in surprise.

For example ^ this. The realization happens after a line break, which is a little too late if it was really sudden. I think this entire paragraph can be shortened to make it more dynamic and to convey a “sudden” feeling.

My two cents untl the first chapter @carawen. :smiley: Will give more feedback soon. I think you can work on the classic writing saying of “Show, don’t tell.”


#1183

@Personaddict07 I’ve always thought of a yelp of pain as being that noise a dog makes when you accidentally step on it


#1184

Hmm… correct me if I’m wrong, but wouldn’t a yelp work just as as well? Given the context of hitting your head on the floor, naturally you wouldn’t give out a yelp of joy.

Too much description hinders the flow when a few words with just as much impact will do. :slight_smile: Again, show v.s. tell. Trust your readers to understand what you’re writing.


#1185

@Personaddict07
Probably, but I’m not the writer of this story so it’s not up to me. Just offering my insight.


#1186

yep. :smiley:


#1187

@Personaddict07 Those are some great points :smiley: show don’t tell is something I consider very important in fiction but I can admit that I’m guilty of doing it myself a lot without thinking about it. I really appreciate the feedback and suggestions, and it’s definitely something I’ll look over and think about once I edit the game before release. Thank you for the help~

As for the ‘yelp’ part, I figured it’d be a bit of an extreme reaction for the MC to yell or scream when tumbling out of bed, but maybe yell is the less extreme version of scream? I have always assumed a yelp was like a small yell but not a full out yell, if that makes sense.


#1188

If you had choice to be in shadow society world or be in world were all great fear are there get you


#1189

Sorry if I was unclear, but my main problem about this part is really the show vs tell thing. I say omit the “yelp” thing altogether and show the pain. Something like: “Ouch!” There is a bang as my head hits the floor. I instinctively try to rub my forehead, but then I find my arms tangled up by some kind of fabric.

… okay, not the best example. :rofl: But I guess you get the idea? This article explains it much better than I can.
https://jerryjenkins.com/show-dont-tell/


#1190

you have good point


#1191

@Takashi_Shin Sorry, I don’t really understand your comment/question ^^;

@Personaddict07 Thank you! I’ll definitely take a look on that article. It’s much appreciated :blush:


#1192

I know there is a character poll on post #305 where you can vote on your favorite RO/character, but I was thinking that it would be interesting to see whether the results would vary depending on the male vs. female version.

Thus, I decided to make another poll with separated female and male ROs! (NOTE: The Shadowman and Vince do not fall into the RO category, but simply counts as male characters).

Who is your favorite female character?

  • Azuridia
  • Rheyla
  • Gwendolyn
  • Michaela
  • Quarie

0 voters

Who is your favorite male character?

  • Azuridian
  • Rheylo
  • Gwyndal
  • Michael
  • Quaiel
  • Vince
  • The Shadowman

0 voters


#1193

Vince is Canon RO in my heart.