Hello so I’ve been working on this little wip for sometime called The Prophecy. I’m rather new to the community and choice script coding so It’ll be a while until I find my ropes around it.
I intend for this to have multiple installments. Around three books
At the moment there is only the prologue which is around 2000+ words.
The Idea
You awaken out of a dream that seems all too familiar to you. Choosing to ignore it, you leave your dormitory to head to one of your morning classes, noticing the bleak atmosphere that you had noted only looks like this, on this day, every year since you could remember and a peculiar feeling that surges through your body, like something is calling out to you.
In class, things start to take a turn for the worst and your campus is thrown into chaos. The weird feeling you had before comes back in tend folds and you end up deep in a forest where you black out. When you awaken, you are met with a world of fantastical creatures and people, but the weirdest thing about it is that you are being called ‘The Prophecy’.
First thing I notice is a lot of typos and lack of punctuation. Seems like you rushed to get this out for some reason? Was there a deadline?
I found it incredibly weird that the MC would think to ask if someone who was not wearing medieval clothing was cosplaying as someone from medieval times. What year is this game set? Is it super far into the future, where someone might confuse 1990s fashion with 1100s fashion?
Firstly, no I’m not on a deadline, I guess when I read it over I didn’t realize the typos and secondly the mc is supposed to be transported to another world/realm where some of the people of that time wear clothes similar to people of medieval times but not necessarily based in it.
You’re right, I’m probably gonna take out the ‘skills’ variables and the
‘Talents’ variables aren’t important after the prologue (so I’m most likely gonna take that one out too)
Oi there @frifli this is true, there are crazy amount of typos and grammatical errors too…
Also MC’ reactions to everything feels completely kinda forced something… It feels like to every situation MC reacts the same way but the choices simply showing them in different emotions (or lock off)…
Also are you gonna explain/MC gonna ever know (find out) what the hell has happened in their own world? What the chaos is and all that?
Also lol
This, I feel like that was a weird thing to ask…
And why did MC react like everything is PERFECTLY alright being in some unknown place? And they even followed the strange guy in the woods who’s wearing strange clothes without even thinking of being against it?
Outside of the typos that others have pointed out I think it was good. I do agree that the choices feel slightly static as no matter how we react. Such as when we first wake up it doesn’t matter if we call out or not the response from the person that finds us is the same. Try changing up the responses a little bit. This is just the prologue so maybe you’re already working on that for the later chapters but that’s just something I noticed so far. Other than that it’s both an interesting concept & I look forward to playing more on the next update
