The Paragons (WIP)


Hiya! So I’m excited to get this out there. I’ve started a Choice of Script game that sort of… came to me, I suppose. Anyways, there are still several details I need to go over and the story is far from complete; a lot of work still needs to be done, but I wanted to let people know to see if anyone was interested in something like this!

So! Summary Time:

In 2186, a distant future, a group of terrorists send an advanced cargo
"subway" train to its demise by colliding with a passenger train
which held more than 200 innocents. Only a handful of these innocent people
survive. Although it turns out these 200+ people were in fact a highly advanced
life-form that held a special mutation that evolved from the average human.
These “Paragons” as they were called had planned to infiltrate and
destroy the human government. It becomes an all out war between two races, the
Paragons and the humans.

The first Paragon became a test subject by the humans in 2109, since then,
the Paragons had been considered an advantageous group, but they were
immediately taken away from their families and raised in testing facilities by
the humans. This was done to discover the mutation (and also, secretly, the government
was afraid that these “advanced” humans would rise up and overthrow
them). Almost 80 years later, a rebel group emerged in hopes of taking over the
human government–just as they had feared. The humans destroyed the train
filled with Paragons and thus started an all out war between the two races.

I’m working on getting a demo out for people to try (because I know how much people enjoy demos. Guilty as charged.)

I’m still pretty new at this, so I’ll need all the help I can get. Criticism, Critiques, Spelling, Suggestions, anything that could help make this better. Thank you for reading!

Edit: 11/12/14
Since I highly value replayability, I’m hoping to make routes as original as possible. So because of this the demo will probably take longer to come out than I had hoped.

Right now I plan to have it encompass at least the Prologue and Chapter 1. Maybe Chapter 2 if I’m feeling extra motivated.


It looks interesting!! :smile:


I agree add romance and I will defiantly play it


Sounds pretty awesome


Wait… "This was done to discover the mutation"
so how can they tell the difference if they don’t know what the mutation(sorry if I misinterpreted) if I did what is the mutation they have? @Mosspool13


Oh there will definitely be romance :wink: you can count on it.

Well in biology different genes are turned “on” and “off”. For example, you might have the gene for some sort of cancer but because the gene is not “on” (triggered) you don’t have the symptoms even though it runs in the family. It’s called coding.

But for a mutation, this occurs because there was an error in your DNA. For example, the mutation for heterochromia (example: one eye blue, the other eye green; if you didn’t already know this). So scientists examine our DNA and discover these differences in our coding based on what would be expected.

Sorry if that’s confusing. Basically, in my story, the scientists just examine the DNA of the Paragons and find that there is a difference in their DNA from that of a regular human. A specific change in their DNA that triggers “special abilities” (to go into as little detail as possible without spoiling XD) that regular humans don’t have. It’s like a “pick out the difference from these two pictures” game.

If you need me to clarify further just ask. Sorry again if this didnt help clear up your confusion D:


Sounds badass… What sort of abilities will paragons get?


Sounds like an great idea can’t wait for it and good luck with your writing


Um, I know it is a bit off-topic from the general discussion, but can you play as human and/or paragon, and can you double cross your race. Also, as you may well know , a paragon is a perfect example of a particular quality, so I assume that they are perfect humans, so will this reflect through the stats?
OK, one last question. From what I gather, this is a quality v.s. quantity struggle. Is this correct?


As @Alvern said, a Paragon is a perfect example of a particular quality. The mutation (since this isn’t really a spoiler I’ll just say it here) effects the brain, “turning on” a special part in the brain that gives Paragons “special powers” per se. Humans, in their coding, have this “turned off” so they can’t access those powers.

So, in regards to what powers they will have, you won’t be able to conjure water/fire from your hands unfortunately, but the powers will tend towards mentally-based such as telepathy, empathy, precognition etc. There will be several to choose from. Here’s a list of some if you want to suggest any to use:

Unfortunately, you can only have one. That’s the downside. It goes with the whole “perfect example of a quality” thing.

There will be a stat called “talent” which focuses on how strong the power you choose is.

I’ll quote my previous reply about gene coding too in case anyone is confused.

Yes. One of my goals in making this game is replayability. With that in mind, the two main routes of the game will be one as a Paragon, and the other as a Human. But with that in mind, both routes are going to be very original–without saying too much to spoil. And yes, double crossing your race is an option. In a sense, yes this is a quality vs quantity struggle; however, both sides are very capable of winning the battle, regardless of whether you decide to be a Paragon or a human.

They are not perfect, not exactly. (You can read my reply above to @Doctor for more information too) In regards to, say, abilities, like stamina or agility, as a Paragon your stats would start higher than as a human, (Example: at the start a Paragon, let’s say, starts with 50 agility, and so a human might start with 30) and Paragons get the special “talent” stat to go with their abilities. However a human will also get their own batch of special stats, so don’t worry! The humans will be just as fun to play as the Paragons will be. :smiley:

Over the course of the game you’ll be able to adjust this.


Thanks! This game sounds really fun. Good luck with your writing!


@Mosspool13, telepathy, empathy, precognition, oh my! Those are my favorites.


Hey! Sorry to be a bother, but I just thought of something. Correct me if I’m wrong, but many people use your lock and key example for many mental conditions. For example, being mentally retarded is like having the wrong key stuck in the lock; the lock won’t open, but the correct key can’t get in either. There have been studies in taking these incorrect keys out. In your future I assume many advancements have been made in this field, so does this mean that a regular human can become a Paragon? Who hold this tech? Is it outlawed? Is it what the Paragons want? To turn humans to Paragon? Wow! That was longer than I expected, but I’m excited about this WIP.


Ohhhh… I thought they had one unique ability as a race…


@Alvern Shhhhhh don’t say anymore or you’ll spoil XD just kidding. Addressing your queries, yes there is the possibility for humans to become Paragons. I’ll leave it at that so y’all can imagine what you like while I sit in the shadows smirking evilly.

There are a lot of political angles to this story in regards to turning humans to Paragons, or whether this is safe etc. And I look forward to addressing it in the story :stuck_out_tongue: (I’m purposely trying to be vague here so I don’t give away a major spoiler)

@Dark_Stalker Techniquely they do… all Paragons have enhanced mental capability. This talent manifests in a skill that they uniquely have. Not all Paragons are telepathic, not all are telekinetic, etc. In terms we know today, someone can be a Paragon of virtue, and someone else can be a Paragon of courage. So it’s something similar to this idea.


Agghaghag. I’m being killed by the deep acidic drops of suspense pooling in my mind.
Tsssssk. Tsssssk. Can’t handle… must leave… must survive…


Hahahaha XD You just made my day, seriously.


Can’t wait to play. Sounds interesting.


Tlud suggests Telekinesis.


Yep; the options for a Paragon are: Precognition, Telekinesis, Telepathy, Empathy and Suggestion. You can choose any of these five abilities. I’d do more but that would be ALOT of work and I’m already struggling with just five XD

Oh; and for an update. I’ve pretty much completed the Prologue for a Precognitive talent Paragon. Since the routes are incredibly original, it’s going to take about the same amount of time I took on this path to do the other 4 (which was about a month) so! If anyone is interested in me putting up a demo of just the Precognition path (a little test) then I’d be happy to do so.

I will stress that this is just a first draft so there will be plenty of mistakes and it will be less detailed than the finalized version. Feel free to leave any suggestions/criticisms you have! There are several things I REALLY want to adjust too but I know if I go back and change things, I will never make it to the other paths. XD