The Oval Office : New Update! (Half of Chapter 3) July 31st, 2018

romance
young-adult-fiction
gender-choice
#1259

OK, Mr. Kavanaugh, good job. That’s really cool too bad it ends when I board the the plane. From the description I thought there is already more to it… Still a great concept with a huge potential.
I like that you put in some humor here and there and it’s cool you provide so much diversity for choosing one’s racial background and physical description. Though why only two classic gender options? Why no trans? That’s sexist too :wink:
I’ll message you with a few typos I saw, now some questions and recommendations.

What is this supposed to mean?

Also, this one seems too out of place to me:

And unfortunately the relationship with the head of security is disfunctional. I deliberately chose a guy, lest if it’s a woman she gets jealous of my other dates and stab me in the back. I tried to keep things professional and built a good rapport with him. Yet, he acts so gay, putting his handgun in his pants and calling me to retrieve it?! And there’s no option to fire that pervert on the spot after such freakout?!? Something’s wrong here!
Initially, I thought it’s my fault for being too meek or warm to him and played again, keeping him at arms distance, yet it still happens. And if I call out his crazy action he sexually assaults his superior?!>! This is really messed up man! I’m stuck with a gay bully predator as my guard-in-chief with no option to get rid of him for a proper guy. The only way to avoid his chimpout is to berate him in advance and destroy the relationship stat. Possibly to a point when it hits zero and he becomes a traitor. This needs to be fixed. No problem with some slight gay humor or once-a-time suggestion but that’s too overboard.

Another thing is the mandate goals. They are all probably major issues for the political scene in the USA but what about some others too. Like a subversive crack down on guns (by the means of taxation for 2nd and more gun, limiting the amount of ammo that can be legally held, ban of assault guns, boosting requirements for a carry permit, increased penalties for illegal possession, a buyback etc.). Also army cuts for the sake of improving public transportaion or suppressing pornography under the umbrella of combating human trafficking and sexploitation? Ideas for future development if you find your present not enough…

4 Likes
#1260

Hey, I played the demo and I loved it so far. I like the romance options and paths, but I believe that romance should not be mandatory and there should be normal professional choices to deal with situations. I like the light-hearted and playful tone, but sometimes it gets to whimsical and distracting, such as when you see all the CYOA stuff. Just add more logical, REALISTIC and creative choices and make the tone a little more serious at times.

But overall, I loved it and can’t wait for the next update!

2 Likes
#1261

I think it means you’re emo.

1 Like
#1262

So basically the main problem I’m getting is… This game is too bi-polar? Or too silly for a political game? I can kinda see that… Thanks for the feedback, I’ll try to limit the goofiness from now on alright?

3 Likes
#1263

Also… Without even a full chapter 3, this game has reached almost 9.5 total visits… Which is like 500 away from 10k!! I feel proud and guilty at the same time cuz I haven’t been updating like I said I will be… But thanks for the loyalty guys… I’m so sorry.

10 Likes
#1264

Well Time to play the game 500 more times

3 Likes
#1265

You can make it 450. I might just be able to do 50.

2 Likes
#1266

Yeah I think at some point you’ll want to take out the fact you got banned for a few months within the confines of your own game. It’s funny for about a minute to people who know that but not much sense if I’m honest. That said I like the lighter tones otherwise, so do what works for you. :slight_smile: You’re making me curious at least whether my charming single president can really end up romancing your VP, security overseer and fav reporter all at once and actually making it work… :grin:

2 Likes
#1267

LMAO :joy::joy::joy::joy::joy::joy::joy::joy::joy::joy::joy::joy:
Read stuff like that it’s a fast way for die :sweat_smile:

2 Likes
#1268

So I can try to explain better than I did before in my long post, here is a way with images and videos. Check out both and see the contrast. Took me two hours this time, less than before but it’s less stuff say this time.

When I was reading the description and coming in I was expecting something like this:


Type A


However, when playing your game it felt like this:

Type B


So we can clearly see two different ways a story about a President can be told; in this case very different genres. Let’s break some characteristics of each:


Type A:

  • Not exactly 100% realistic (especially the part when the plane is fumbling on the ground, but that is not the sort of realism that people are complaining here), but the movie shows you the stakes are high and the matters it deals with are serious.

  • Patriotic (which is very fitting for something political) in two interesting ways;

    1. First in empowering both the US and its President as the good guys against the evil bad guys; this makes us feel like the main character (in this case Harrison Ford, in your game it would be the MC) is actually competent by giving him a crisis to deal with. The movie gives him very noble characteristics: courage, selflessness (for his family and staff), will, heroism, leadership, etc… This makes his character feel like a proper leader of a nation — one that should aspire to lead it with characteristics those being led likely want to see of their leader. Having our MC with those qualities and dealing with such a serious matter makes them more responsible and capable.
    2. In the exterior shots of the plane that big “UNITED STATES OF AMERICA” slogan that was proudly displayed now takes another meaning; seeing it while the plane is in need of assistance has a more sinister effect — it’s as if the whole nation is weakened, exposed and threatened. This is a subtle way to try to invoke fear, anxiety and feeling of helplessness on those that are part of that nation.
  • It shows the dedication of those surrouding the President; they give their lives to make sure the plane is landed or that the President survives. The pilots for example try to land the plane with a gun to the back of their heads, knowing they will die if they don’t — and they do die but never give up trying to land the plane. This shows the dedication and maturity of someone that understands their job is serious and crucial to a whole nation; they don’t start tearing up after being reprimanded on a training exercise — failure on their task may lead to his death and/or the death of the President, affecting millions of Americans. Still, talking about that bodyguard specifically, bodyguard relationship is one that can be explored in interesting ways; do they do their duty because its their job or because the person they must protect grows on them as they get along? And does that even make them do their job better? Anyway, even the personnel at the airport understand the seriousness of the situation the instant code red is declared, mobilizing immediately.

  • The movie tries to go for authenticity in some cases, for example the terrorists speaking their language and some really cool scenes that are supposed to be set in Russia (not visible in the videos I posted). It strives to keep the setting believable, increasing the immersion for the viewer.


Type B:

  • Almost every character in the episode is shown as highly incompetent in their jobs, while having access to very powerful technology and weapons. It’s as if giving it bazookas to ten year old kids. Not only is this highly unrealistic (even Trump, who is considered immature, is hardly like this), but the biggest problem here is that the main character (in the show Bush, but in your game it would be the MC), has their background and past experiences totally invalidated, being instead a total buffoon that never acts their age or rises above conflict or hard situations to be a noble person or leader. This makes the MC look weak, irresponsible and unsympathetic.
  • In a way, what I explained above is still proper political humor — as if it was a critique towards those at the top of government that have no idea of what they are doing. Still, in my opinion it does humour better than your game. In that episode in particular at the very start it creates a context — that there is a big problem with Cable TV on the white house. This context of the Cable TV that was created is explored in several ways toward the episode, even when the Austrians come in the house or in things not related to the Cable TV; it becomes a running gag throughout the whole episode, it doesn’t just come as simple and blunt like showing up to an interview naked or in random childish behavior that I consider unamusing.
  • The unrealism here is clear. The way everyone acts is hardly proper decor for adults, let alone high level government personnel. This is what people are complaining the most in your game, the lack of professionalism and surreal way government staff (including the President) act in many presented situations — there is no authenticity. It’s clear these people would never attain these jobs and such a buffoon like the MC would never be elected in real life (Trump, while regarded as very immature by many, is not even close to this). However, That’s My Bush! makes it very clear from the first 10 seconds what it’s supposed to be — it wants to have that unrealism as a way to critique and make fun of; mixing that with Type A would seldom work.

I have no interest in playing the “Type B” game, which is why I was dismissive of the game in my previous long post. It’s not that I think it cannot be a good game or that Type B is wrong, just that I’m not interested in it. People may differ in what they like; some may be the opposite, preferring Type B and not Type A. Different people, different tastes.

When making your game, setting, theme, genre, maturity, realism/authenticity is something you have to consider. What sort of audience do you want? What sort of story do you want to make? Because to me if you go with Type B, you’ve lost me already, I’m not interested. For other people it’s the opposite, if you go with Type A then they will not be interested. You can’t please everyone.

Also keep in mind Type A and Type B are not the only ways to do it, there are many ways you can blend genres and depending on the situation during the story, there are times characters can be goofy and times where they can be serious. However in your game the times when they should be serious they are always goofy and childish (such as doing an interview naked or making very unstrategic analysis of other countries when visiting them for diplomacy, as well as many other things I pointed out in my previous feedback), so it ends up feeling like the whole thing is wacky and campy throughout — this is what plenty of people are complaining.

10 Likes
Constructive Feedback vs Toxic Feedback
#1269

@Spyder Found a bug in the game if you chose to berate the secret service agent you get this

“Yes, sir/madam.” He/She says

1 Like
closed #1270

This topic was automatically closed 60 days after the last reply. If you want to reopen your WiP, contact the @moderators.

opened #1271
#1272

oh yeah it open again, this is going to be good

4 Likes
#1273

Wooo let’s go it’s open again!! Welcome back spyder @Spyder :raised_hands::100::100:

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#1274
  1. I hope we get the options to attend a UN General assembly meeting where a terror attack happens.
  2. i would like the option to either make a new air force one. where i can upgrade it size, defensive capabilities etc. same for the presidential limo and the white house.
  3. Would we be able to end the wars we are in or either to fully invade and take over the country?
  4. i think it would be a good idea for events such as riots, natural disasters or terror attacks to happen and the MC has the option to visit the site .
  5. Espionage would be really cool, like if i could find out the President of a country has a mistress and we could use that information to force him to agree to join our war or make a trade deal etc.
  6. Do we get to visit Area 51 and other secret military bases?
  7. there are many things that the government is hiding do we get to release the information to the public??
  8. I would like the ability to crack down or increase the amount of corruption within the government and other government organization.
  9. i would like to see the effects of global warming and pollution, racism, sexism etc in this game and have the ability to fight it.
  10. if i become a dictator would i be able to declare the country a monarchy, dissolve the senate and put selected members into those positions??

the pilot in the story doesn’t quite represents the professionalism of the Air force one pilots. instead of the current dialogue it would be more fitting for him to describe the features and capability of the staff and airplane.

also the secret service agent seems to be way to friendly in the beginning. I suggest that the character starts of somewhat as a robot, have the MC ask him/her questions and he reply either no or mister/madame president have the character slowly starts opening up towards the MC after sometime or either remain strictly professional due to views and opinions that he/she may have

10 Likes
#1275

Yay I’m glad this reopened!

1 Like
#1276

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#1277

Hey guys long time no see!
I’m glad to be back. My self imposed hiatus took longer than I expected :confused: however, I’m back and I will be more active on the forums and in general.

I can’t lie, me and @DUNGEON_MASTER are currently taking end of the year exams, so I can’t say a specific date for the next chapter release. I can say that I hope it will be soon!

Thanks so much for all the love and support. It makes it easier to come back every time :joy::heart:

10 Likes
#1278

All great points @Malachi_Joseph, thank you so much. I’m just now looking at my rough draft so I will see if I can update the plans for the chapter currently on deck. A lot of big changes in the future! I’m super duper excited!

6 Likes