The Operative: Fires of Revolution (Scifi WIP) (Updated 10/8/2018)

gender-choice
science-fiction

#515

@Chopper fights against Operatives are very interesting to write honestly. A lot of fun to be had :wink:

Also yeah that does resemble them a bit.


#516

Are there going to be a fight with Ari ?
I think it will be more fun if Liana is in the fight with her too … Like Ari can take the aim at Liana, and MC be given a chance to shield Liana by taking the bullet …saying " Ouch…no please Ari don’t hurt her "

When Liana shoot Ari, MC be given a chance to block the bullet too, saying " No please Liana… stand down …"

Then depend on MC’s relationship with Ari and Liana … both of them will stand down when MC’s Life point reach 1 ? :slight_smile:


#517

Mmm I’ll just say Yes and you can guess what specifically I’m saying that to lol :wink:

In all seriousness There are many different encounters with various characters that differs greatly based on who you have with you and what your relationship with them is.


#518

Yes i agree… and Designate Six will be my best bodyguard who only obey me… :slight_smile:

Love Liana for being so cheerful at the dawn of war and playing around with the Cigar :blush:


#519

@Eric_knight honestly While everything around it was planned or already on notes the cigar scene was just spur of the moment writing :sweat_smile:


#520

Liana is just too cute in that scene … i am hoping maybe you can add something like MC tries to taste the Cigar, but a worried Liana grab the Cigar away…citing she is worry about MC’s health …you know something like a worried wife ? :hugs:


#521

Sounds adorable lol :joy:


#522

For Operatives in the field proficient in the use of sidearms…
A sign of whats to come…


#523

@spytim I’m hoping for an awkward moment if we meet another operative and there are regular marines nearby, where the MC tells the operative a bad joke and the operative asks if anyone finds their jokes funny, to which the MC replies in front of the marines “the humans sometimes laugh at them”


#524

There are a couple moments highlighting the disconnect between Operatives and regular humans I hope you all will be able to enjoy. :wink:


#525

There been update? If so yay


#526

Well i picture my operative looking like this.


#527

I always picture my MC looking like this

Summary

  • big ass armor that makes him look 7 feet tall (adds almost an entire foot to his height)
  • has staunch loyalty to the emperor
  • used to fight his traitor brothers and sisters and still is fighting them
  • feared by all citizens of the imperium

Edit: also, @spytim could we have the option to use a pistol and a sword combination? It seems more verstatile than the rest of the weapons since it would leave you incapable of fighting ranged or close quarters fights


#528

My favorite chapter the blood ravens.


#529

My favorite chapter has to be the lamenters, those guys make the salamanders look self-centered in comparison


#530

My MC and Liana during our latest mission :blush:


#531

Well blood ravens will always be my favorites they were the first marines i saw when i was a kid but i love the legion of the damned plus i loved the Fire Hawks as well.


#532

Aren’t they the same ? Wasn’t the origin of the legion of the damned the fact that the fire Hawks’ fleet got lost in the warp ?


#533

Yeah but i still loved the fire hawks even before they became the legion of the damned.


#534

What’s with all the heresy?
@spytim updated :blush:

The Operative
  • Threaten a few peoples families and they will spill, in the end they would give up their cause for their family. Thats how people work… right?

    • That’s
  • Flipping the page your eyes settle on a picture of the settlement you will be landing in. The settlement is made up of a bunch of large four story complexes stretching across the grounds up to the Governors building all around it. Rows of them go out to the countryside before barns and smaller houses begin to appear. They are only large enough to hold a small family, not what you would imagine a planet like this looking like. Soon you lay eyes on the Governors building, which resembles more of a fortress.

    • Governor’s, not sure about the capitalization.
  • It truly is made for waging war, it focuses on Firepower and Duribility.
    It is for Striking terror into people hearts, focusing on melee attacks, tear the enemy apart!
    I prefer it being more Mysterious, focuses on stealth and freedom of movement above all else.

    • The capitalization is really unneeded. Also third option, either it focuses or focusing.
  • You are wearing a reinforced battle suit, colored like the Imperial Commandos armor with Black and Dark green. It has reinforced armor and gauntlet cannons. Focusing on Firepower and Durability, but not very mobile should you be in a moving firefight.

    • black, dark, firepower, durability
  • You serve the Emperor above all else, thats what you have done all your life and what you shall continue to do.

    • that’s
  • They wear body armor and a closed squarish helmet a single cut across the helmets top, colored with dark Brown and green camo patterns

    • brown
  • “We are heading in for a landing sir, we should make it planetside in five minutes.” The soldier says in a robotic voice.

    • planet side
  • He turns towards you going pale. “Oh, commander im sorry I didn’t see you.” He hastily salutes swallowing nervously.

    • I’m
  • of course, my apologies commander.”

    • Of
  • You pick up your weapon which is.

    • It doesn’t line up with the choice, only one has an “a” and it ends the sentence anyway.
  • “Hold it there, the Governor doesnt want any weapons inside his facility, we require you turn your weapons over to us.”

    • doesn’t
  • You could intimidate them by having your pilots aim the ships weapons at them

    • ship’s
  • “I suggest you get to the point before i lose mine…”

    • I
  • Its important.”

    • It’s
  • You doubted there were any, but habits are habits

  • insert period

  • Maybe its natural, maybe its not.

    • it’s
  • Looking down from your black unkept Hair you settle on your eyes.

    • hair
  • To you she is.

    • It doesn’t fit with any of the choice grammatically.
  • “I’m suprised you have not shot them all down there. I would of hanged em all by now.”

    • surprised, 'em
  • sir get down!” you barely hear Schofield as the roaring engines of fighters covers the battlefield, vibrating the ground. Ducking down slightly you see five Hellglider fighters screeching down towards the cathedral fire seemingly spewing out of them covering the top of the hill with white flames.

    • Sir
  • “sir?” She lowers her pistol confusion written on her face. “Is something wrong?”

    • Sir
  • “Not what i expected, can’t sleep either?” She laughs gesturing to her armor.

    • I

There was also a cant on the same page that should be can’t I think.

  • sir? Is something wrong?” He frowns, his eyes blinking in surprise. He hastily salutes, worry on his face.

    • Sir
  • Thats very nice of you, honestly im a little surprised.”

    • That’s, I’m
  • What do you think about this Hawks character

    • Hawk’s
  • “Im not here to chit chat, are my troops ready if they are needed?”

    • I’m
  • “So im bad cop and you’re good cop?” Her grin widens as she apologizes for the joke.

    • I’m
  • “Sorry, yeah Im sure I could give it a crack, I will need you there to help though if that is alright sir.”

    • I’m
  • Exellent!” She spins around walking, no, waltzing into the room as you follow close behind. Walking up to him she offers her hand, shaking his hand her polite smile slowly fades, replaced by a pitiful look.

    • Excellent
  • Silently you walk around them stopping when in his blind spot.

    • I think a comma would be good after them.
  • “Yes sir, you wont be disappointed.” He salutes calling out over your shoulder to the officers at the door to be ready to move out.

    • won’t
  • “Hows it going sir?” Liana smiles brightly while leaning back in the chair.

    • How’s
  • “Sorry if you like em sir.”

    • 'em
  • “Yes im fine Liana, thank you.”

    • I’m
  • “Good, we will need you for whats to come boss. And if we make it through this I will owe you a drink!” She says grinning.

    • what’s
Tales of the Admiral
  • No, im familiar with the UEG and the history behind it.

    • I’m
  • “Thats right.”

    • That’s
  • The imperial navy recruiter flashes you a bored look as he slowly flips through your citizen file, every so often making notes.

    • Shouldn’t imperial navy be capitalized? It was like that the other times
  • Your family was never rich but your parents tried their best to keep you somewhat comfy in your younger years, due to a planetwide famine most of your family succumbed to hunger eventually leaving just you.

    • planet wide
  • You felt–
    Nervous.
    Eager.

    • Can I take another option here?’
  • “Best be careful-” You dont catch the rest as you have to ask them to repeat themselves. What do they say?

    • don’t
  • Whats the stations status?”

    • What’s, station’s
  • Whats our status?”

    • What’s
  • She gestures to one of the bridges few windows, in reality its a narrow rectangle of armored glass. Looking outside you are greeted with destruction, the stations strands are all crumbling from either cannon fire or colliding with the rest of the station, several ships desperately maneuver between the debris trying to escape the shards flying at them.

    • station’s
  • “Hull is at 95 Captain, no casualties yet.” “What would you like to know Captain?”

    • You don’t need to seperate the quotes, and I recommend a “What else would you like to know Captain” instead, it sounds a little awkward the way it’s phrased now.
  • “Her flagship is reporting heavy damage but it is still in the fight, what remains of our fleet is trying to maintain a perimeter around it. Once we clear this stations field we should be able to contact them.”

    • station’s

Overview

Name: Avery
Surname: Thomas
Rank: Captain
Awards: none
Stoic: 28%
Cautious: 20%
Impulsive: 20%
Ship Overview

Ship: De Santa Maria Conseila Conqistadore of the royal inquisition the III O’Riley O’Neil Mc’Neil, twice divorced and heir to the land of Poland
Ship Hull: 95%
Condition: Unharmed