The Onryō of Osaka. [WIP] (Act Two fully released 31/1/2024. 136k Words.) Poll in post 181

Here, I’m going to keep a permanent poll to collect data as the game progresses.

Which backstory is your favourite/the one you picked?

  • Backstory 1: Murdered Family
  • Backstory 2: Ex-Yakuza
  • Backstory 3: Ex-Police
0 voters

What was the first ability you chose in act 2?

  • Phase
  • Dash
  • Puppeter
  • Sixth sense
0 voters

What stat was chosen as your strength?

  • Aim
  • Dexterity
  • Strength
  • Persuasion
  • Agility
  • Perception
0 voters
4 Likes

Deaths: 2

Targeting: 11

Dexterity: 25

Strength: 16

Persuasion: 18

Agility: 14

Perception: 9

Love this demo so far. The ROs are flavorful, the story is tragic yet humerous, with a tasty focus on Japanese mythology, and the action is brutal. This played out in my head like a fairly badass anime, and I have a sneaking suspicion that was at least partially intentional.

My only complaint right now would be the total lack of emotional reactions to choose from after learning of our fate. I wanted to scream, cry, freak out like in the wonderful @ThomB’s own ghost game. It was pretty jarring to see that part entirely glossed over, like the author just wanted to get to the supernatural superhero shenanigans, which I totally get. But it’s still not right.

Beyond that, what a solid beginning.

3 Likes

Is Akari going to be an RO?

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@Lucha_Markre
First of all, thank you for playing, and I’m glad you enjoyed!

Now for the elephant in the room. You’re completely right, I was writing to get to the “fun stuff” as quickly as possible. Do not worry though, improving the MC’s reactability is on my priority list. But ummm, which part are you referring to? Just so I know where to prioritise. Was it Kaito killing you? Or the talk with Izanami-No-Mikoto? Or something else entirely?

@Lucas_Gendron
I’m afraid not. To quote myself earlier in the thread:

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This conversation, especially. We just learn that we’re dead, and we basically have no reaction whatsoever.

Heh, well I definitely don’t blame ya!

That is reassuring to hear!

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I have just released a small patch tweaking some values and a few typos.

This is my last act before I go away for my two-week holiday, meaning I won’t be able to check the forum that often, or work on the game at all. Soon as I get back, on the 2nd of August, I will immediately begin working on an update that will aim to improve the MC’s reactability.

Sayonara, for now. (^▽^)/★☆♪

9 Likes

Deaths: 2

Targeting: 25

Dexterity: 6

Strength: 14

Persuasion: 15

Agility: 17

Perception: 16

I like the WIP so far waiting for the future updates

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i’m really liking this wip, a good start to the story. the most current update was a bit bare-bones, but it’s probably to be expected. your characters are pretty fun to interact with, n i’m excited to see how they’ll pull off the job.

stats

Deaths: 1

Targeting: 16

Dexterity: 13

Strength: 7

Persuasion: 16

Agility: 12

Perception: 30

a few things i noticed

a male makoto was called makoto-chan here


overjoyed to know they’re bringing a bullet train system to tx !!! i’ve always wanted to ride one. crazy that i found out from here
i find it a bit strange that we didn’t have any concern for the girl who was bleeding out in the hanako-san flashback.
also, found a few points where the only 2 options were saying something compassionate or… kinda heartless tbh. would like to see more variety in dialogue options on those.
on a not-so-important note, the kitsune saying sayonara when most everything else is in english is kind of strange? idk it might be a personal preference. could be changed to “till we meet again” or smt if u want the dramatic flair

2 Likes

Greetings all!

With the end of my holiday drawing near, I am sat writing this via free pub WiFi. Cornwall is annoyingly lacking in signal.

My first priority, once I’ve sorted out the whole situation with Kokona, and after fixing the identified typos, and pronoun issues, is to improve the mc’s reactability via dialouge options - thanks to @ohokimlost and @Lucha_Markre for pointing this out.

The only place I’m not touching, is the the rewind section. It’s a miracle the code works as is, and I’m scared I’ll break it if I tried adding anything. But the rest, will see the MC get more variety.

Secondly, and this is more of a personal gripe, I want to change Ryoji/Ryuko’s introduction in act 2, to make it feel more realistic and fluid.

Finally, once I’m happy the current content is ok, I’m going to have to work out the averages for the stats, in order to set the stat checks in the rewind section for act 2. Big thanks to everyone who has provided their stats! :heart:

That’s all from me, have a great day!

19 Likes

I’ve been looking forward to replaying and doing chapter 2, and I enjoyed what we got! As for Kokona, maybe she doesn’t die on the train if you don’t save her, but she isn’t friendly (or even distrusting) towards the MC. After all there’s only one guy close to her and he’s busy in the engine car, I imagine he’ll escape immediately when they reach their destination.

My stats:

Deaths: 11

Targeting: 7

Dexterity: 28

Strength: 23

Persuasion: 42

Agility: 18

Perception: 30

My deaths are high because the guy in the engine car is the true antihero of the story and we just replace him. I only died to him lol. Other than that, I always choose Perception as my favorite stat.
Edit: I also play on normal.

1 Like

Drat, you figured out the plot twist. That guy is actually Izanagi-No-Mikoto :laughing:

On a more serious note, I’m glad you enjoyed the, admittedly rather small update. As for Kokona, your solution could work! I was thinking along those lines, that the Yakuza members that Kaito sent would not kill her because they don’t want to kill a child, and by that point he’d be dead anyway…

4 Likes

Hiya everyone!

First and foremost, I apologise for my radio-silence. There were some personal issues irl that I had to sort out. I won’t bother you with the details because of my inferiority complex telling me no one cares… etc…

On that note, I have released the update that aimed to make the MC more reactive! Several new dialouge and action choices have been added in key locations, so that you can express your feelings, or lack thereof in some cases, more openly.

I also finally fixed the Kokona situation, meaning that the story can now progress. (I only had to change one line why did i put this off for so long?)

Finally, in the section before the meeting with Masa in act two, I added an option to, instead of raising one of your stats, you can instead decide to hang out with Makoto or Kit.

That’s all from me, sorry once more for the silence.

Have a greay day!
(^▽^)/★☆♪

24 Likes

np if it’s personal take all the time you need :smile: anyways but i think i noticed a grammar error but i don’t know if its on purpose :sweat: is save supposed to be safe?

1 Like

Now that I think about it, that sentence does look weird. I
But it is grammatically correct. I know it is, as I have been using it my whole life.

However, now that I’m looking at it, I can’t quite say why it is grammatically correct.

Basically, it means that you are the only one there.

6 Likes

oh sorry, it’s just when you say it out loud it feels weird. :joy:

“save for” is used to say something or someone isn’t included in what has been said or is being said

4 Likes

– Cool game. I had fun

– I like the artwork.

– I also enjoyed the process of navigating the train.

–You don’t really need the “save for” phrase at all. When you enter an empty room, it is clear that you are in it alone---- unless the enemy is invisible or something.

– You have clearly put a lot of work into this project and I like that it really feels like a game with each train car presenting a different challenge.

–I felt like there was a huge chunk of reading after I died without any choices. Maybe try to slip some in to break-up the reading.

–This may be asking for too much; but, I wanted more control over my katana. The first two thugs I approached, maybe give me the option to hit high or low, or parry. Or who to strike first. I want more say in how I paint that train car red with blood. I don’t feel this way with all scenes, but put a weapon or object in my hand, particularly a weapon. I want to wield it through choices. I have no idea if this is a common feeling, and it would require more work on-top of the work.

– good luck !

2 Likes

Hiya Drew!

I’m glad you enjoyed (^▽^)/★☆♪

I’m going to reply in full:

I know that a sentence isn’t exactly necessary, but it is also not not necessary.

That’s what I love about writing - you can use whatever words you like to describe even the simplest of topics. Yes, I could simply write. “You enter the carriage. It is empty. You leave the carriage. You enter the next carriage. There is an enemy. You kill the enemy. Etc.” But it is A) boring. B) repetitive. And C) is just over all not very interesting.

I’m glad you like the mechanics! The train itself is actually only a taster of the much more complex sections to come up. The concert, for example, will have several more paths than the trains one ending.

If this is referring to the first death where you get sent yo Yomi, this is for two reasons. First, to represent the gravity of the situation and its effect on the MC, you’re just going along with it all, and it is only when you learn of your fate that you get any real choice to react. Secondly, it is basically an exposition dump, and these naturally don’t involve many choices.

If it’s referring to every time you die on the train, then that is because I needed a scene that is easily replicateable and isn’t too heavy variety wise, as the rewind-death scene will used throughout the whole game, and you may see it potentially hundreds of times in any given playthrough.

I fully get this sentiment, but remember, the katana isn’t the only weapon. I think it would be too much work to have the level of variety you describe with every single weapon. Plus, I am in no way an expert on how to use a katana, so I don’t want to butcher anything. Even writing the scenes in the game currently took a lot of research. So, ultimately, i made the choice to limit each scene to:
Choose your weapon > stat check > repeat.

Once more, thank you!

Your feedback is always appreciated, and I may look into putting some more choices into the death scene if it feels a little lacklustre.

Have a great day!
(*^ー^)ノ♪

3 Likes

Nice story so far. Kitsune RO is just a bonus on top of that.
Btw will Miti chan be back later on? Seems to be an important character cough

2 Likes

yes, I think I was referring to my first death. Yeah I know the weapon scene would get hugely complex, or at least a lot more writing as you carry that to all scenes. Shame on me for asking for it ha ha. The death scenes are fun to read. I believe my eye was stabbed out by my own katana. I cringed.

So, if I only read that once, maybe just throw a benign choice in there or two. Maybe I’m wrong, but I was critiqued a lot for exposition dumps and so reduced them, or just put in fake choice selections. But, you know your story best, and, if no one else has this sentiment, it likely is not a problem. I am approaching your story with no prior interest in the subject matter---- except we oddly both have a fox character, or kitsune.

---- I had no idea so many readers are interested in Romancing a kitsune type character. It is a very common feedback response for you. I felt slightly embarrassed to have one in my story. Now I feel more encouraged— thanks. I am still not sure she will stay in my story---- I’ve been changing a lot recently. Anyways, it looks like you have an audience for your story---- nice work!

1 Like