The Onryō of Osaka. [WIP] (Act Two fully released 31/1/2024. 136k Words.) Poll in post 181


Hiya everyone! I’ve begun working on my new WIP, The Onryō of Osaka.

All aboard the train

"The next station is Yomi"

Death is aboard

As a vigilante in Japan, you work with your Guy-In-The-Chair, Kage to take down the Yakuza family which you have sworn vengeance upon - The Busujima Family. You board the Shinkansen going from Tokyo to Osaka in an effort to assassinate Kaito Busujima, the son of the Family’s Kumicho. All goes wrong, however, when you are sadly killed.

Disembarking the train of life, you board the train of death, and intent on reaching the end of the line, you become an Onryō, a spirit with a single purpose - Vengeance.

In Yomi, the land of the dead, Izanami-no-mikoto takes pity on you, and allows you the use of a special power - the power to rewind time upon your own death. Using this power, you form a group of enigmatic and ragtag vigilantes, in a race against the clock to take down the Busujima family once and for all, and save Osaka from a mounting threat.

The game will be split into several “Acts”, and each act will have three different parts. Part two of each act will be the “rewind section”, or in other words, the main event. Where you are given free reign to rewind as much as you want by dying, and changing your fate with your knowledge of the future.

I will update the demo everytime a new part is available.

Currently available:

Act One - Flame's Knife

Act 1 part 1 - complete
Act 1 part 2 - complete
Act 1 part 3 - complete

Act Two - Angelseek

Act 2 part 1 - complete
Act 2 part 2 - complete
Act 2 part 3 - complete

Act Three - Angelslayer

Act 3 Part 1 - In progress.

Current word count:
136,304

RO's

Makoto - Kage:

Sex: M.F (Gender Selectable)

Age: 19

Appearance: Black, dishevelled shoulder-length hair. Blue eyes, freckled face. 4’‘2 in height, making them the shortest in the group. Always wears an oversized green hoodie with their favourite anime character proudly presented on the front. Almost never takes the hood down.

Personality: Hacker, Gamer, Otaku, and pretty much anything in-between. Makoto can be trusted with anything regarding technology, but anything regarding reality can often be a challenge. Makoto seemingly has no filter, saying what they are thinking at that exact moment in time; be it inappropriate jokes, insults, or anything in-between.

Messenger #27361 - Kaen:

(Because the player sets the name of this character, all references to them outside of the demo will be “Kit”.)

Sex: M/F (Gender Selectable)

Age: Somewhere between 100 and 200 years old

Appearance: Red, wild hair, with length depending on gender selected. Red eyes, with a barely detectable feint glow. 5’'3 in height. Wears a traditional Japanese Kimono shamelessly stolen from a convenient shrine. When in fox form, has red fur, and two tails.

Personality: Kit is a Kitsune, and a messenger of Inari Omikami. You met them one day at a Shinto Shrine, and they decided they liked you enough to follow you. In Japanese Folklore, Kitsunes can take human form, and Kit does just that. The MC eventually gets tired of referring to them by a number, (definitely not because they cannot remember it), and gives them a name.

Kit is a seemingly endless bubble of energy. They like teasing anyone and everyone, and a good harmless prank is always appreciated! Do not ask about the harmful pranks, however. The Osaka Police department is already overwhelmed with arson incidents, as it is. Having joined a society they know nothing about, Kit spends much of their time being confused. They have a tendency to act like a child running around an amusement park, (which attracts unwanted attention in downtown Osaka), and Makoto constantly teases them.

Ryoji/Ryuko Sasaki - Temae

Sex: M/F (Gender Selectable)

Age: 34

Appearance: Wears a plain, grey suit. Has a tattoo on their left arm of a Cheetah. Black, slick, neat hair, which comes down to the shoulders if female, clean shaven if male. Grey eyes. 5’‘6 in height. If male, has stubble. Is missing their entire index finger on their left hand.

Personality: From the outside, one would think them to be every part the stereotypical Hardened and coldblooded Yakuza member. They pretend to not care about others, but actions often speak louder than words. Is very loyal to those they perceive as friends, and is easily angered when a friend is threatened. On the flipside, seemingly has no sense of self-preservation.

Masa Matsuzaki - Jiji:

Sex: M

Age: 42

Appearance: Black, messy hair. Blue eyes. 5’‘5 in height. Black, baseball cap with his favourite, (fictional) baseball team, the Osaka Orangutans. Wears a white, button up shirt with short sleeves, and a tie. Also wears jeans. Is rather muscular. :wink:

Personality: Masa is a detective working for the Osaka police department who assists you with your not so legal methods. He believes in justice above all else, even if it means bending the law. He has no concept of ‘jokes’, and often takes the stupid things Makoto says seriously. (Do not ask him about the Takoyaki incident.) It seems as though he lives only to work, and he often has to be physically dragged into the break room to rest. He is also a big fan of sake. Perhaps too big a fan…

Midori Yasukawa - Hoshi:
Sex: F

Age: 21

Appearance: Green eyes. Long, black hair with green highlights. Almost never without a smile on her face. 4’'9 in height. Wears a long, black dress with green four-leaf clovers all over it.

Personality: Midori is a J-pop idol who runs away from her producers, and latches herself onto your group, saying she’s “bored”, after you interrupt a Yakuza meeting that just so happened to be taking place under a stage which she was performing a live concert on. Makoto is a big fan of hers. With a bright and bubbly personality, Midori surprises everyone when she turns out to also be extremely sadistic. Enjoying the various missions you take her on with concerning levels of Joy.

Secret RO: Red String.

Sex: ?

Age: ?

*“You’re the war that I wage,” *
*“You’re the love that I hate.” *
*“Can you change me” *
“From the monster you’ve made me?”
Starset - “Monster”

“Can you save someone who is already dead? Why, that’s the question I’m asking you, Onryō-san.”

The red string of fate has to connect to someone. Not a soulmate, per say. More like a soul sibling. Your “twin soul”. They are in important figure in the story of your life, as you are in theirs. The two of you may not reach the end of the line without each other. But if life was already written into stone, that would be rather cruel. While you must encounter this person, your relationship with them is still up to you.

Red String is a potential Yandere for the Onryō. They start out hating the MC, but with certain choices, this can become a sort of twisted hate-love situation. That is all the info I will give out for now. It’s a secret RO, so obviously I can’t reveal their identity. I will say, however that they are a character that has already been met in the current demo.

Non-Romanceable Characters

Shakunetsu Busujima:

(Male)

The patriarch of the Busujima Yakuza Family, and your ultimate target.

Hayumi Busujima:

(Female)

Shakunetsu’s wife, and the mother of his children. (Now deceased, may she rest in peace.)

Kaito Busujima:

(Male)

The eldest son of Shakunetsu, and first in line to become the Patriarch when Shakunetsu dies or is otherwise ousted from power. This was apparently the subject of many debates between him, and his twin sister Toshiko. But the matter was supposedly settled behind closed doors, and Toshiko agreed to be second in line. He is “generally well liked and respected by even the toughest Yakuza members”. His charisma and natural leadership abilities have secured him a position of power within the family, despite his relatively “weak structure”, which he makes up for by always surrounding himself with, at minimum, 10 or more trusted bodyguards.

Toshiko Busujima:

(Female)

Eldest daughter of Shakunetsu, and second in line to become patriarch when Shakunetsu dies or is otherwise ousted from power. This was apparently the subject of many debates between her, and her twin brother Kaito. But the matter was supposedly settled behind closed doors, and Toshiko agreed to be second in line. She is regarded as the family’s chief enforcer, and the family’s enemies shake in their boots when she is approaching. She has supposedly never lost a fight, but she does not seem to enjoy it, instead opting to spend much of her time alone, with her head in a book.

Akari Hanabusa:

(Female)
The youngest of the Busjima Family’s 4 lieutenants. Akari is the Busujima’s “Entertainment director”, and spends much of her time managing the family’s illegal establishements, such as casinos, brothels, nightclubs, etc. She is notoriously bad with money, and spends anything she gets her hands on, almost immediately, on various “upgrades” to the various establishements she runs (Do not ask about the elephant incident). There are rumours that she uses her body as a bribe, and this method has supposedly brought the Osaka Police Chief onto the Busujima’s payroll.

Tsukasa Kamiyama:

(Male)

Eldest of the Busujima Family’s 4 lieutenants, and a close friend of Shakunetsu. A notorious man of few words, Tsukasa is highly regarded as the most intelligent in the Family, acting under his principle of brains over brawn. Tsukasa is the Busujima family’s “chief economist”, and spends much of his time counting money, and allocating budget for Akari to spend as she pleases. He is not, however, afraid to get his hands dirty, and Kaito often brings him along as a hitman, freeing Kaito up to monolouge (something which Kaito is very fond of).

Kokona Karimoto:

(Female)

A first year at a local high school, Jigoujitoku High. She regularly hangs out at the Izakaya which Makoto lives above, she ends up involved in the war between your group and the Busujimas. She takes a while to open up to strangers, and often retreats into herself, blocking out the world with the pair of red headphones that she is never seen without. She enjoys petting Kit when they are in their fox form. :slight_smile: (I am definitely not projecting myself into this character.)

Wataru Watanabe:

(Male)

The cheerful, if a bit plump, owner of the Kasha’s Attic, the izakaya in which Makoto lives. He treats all his customers as if they were his own family, and never, ever, asks questions.

N700S model Shinkansen:

(Train)

N700S Series Shinkansen - Wikipedia

Character art.

Logo by @Soda-27

Art by @Curious_Boy

Kaito Busujima


Midori Yasukawa

Makoto (Male)

Makoto (Female)

Art by me (Leinco)

Kit (Female)


Makoto (Both male and female)

Kokona Karimoto

Akari Hanabusa

Demo Links:
Dashingdon

Side Stories

I have already been to heaven - Watanabe side story

Feedback I’m looking for:

  • Feedback about the story, or characters, or if you feel that the story does not do Japan justice, (mainly looking for people who live/are Japanese here), or if you think there is anything else that would improve the story.

  • Any coding errors. - Pronoun errors, those popup things that tell you a line and an error, etc.

  • And any other thoughts you have other than what I have specifically said not to provide, is always welcome. :slight_smile:

Have a great day! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Tumblr Page

Changelog

15/03/2023 - Released Act 1 - Part 1

16/03/2023 - Released a patch that fixed an issue causing Kage to repeatedly send you away from carriage seven, even if you had a weapon. I also fixed a few grammar issues.

16/03/2023 -Released a second patch that fixed more ‘looping issues’. Fixed more grammar issues. Added case files for the 4 Busujima lieutenants to the stats menu.

17/03/2023 - Released an update which improved the available given names and family names availble to be chosen for your MC. Also made many other quick improvements like, fixing how Kage refers to the MC, and ensuring that the Kamisama are always referred to respectfully.

20/03/2023 - Released the first major update! Check post #54 for more details.

11/04/2023 - Released Act 1 - part 2.

14/04/2023 - Released a patch that hopefully fixed the identified issues in the first rewind section for act one.

20/04/2023 - Released a small optimization patch.

30/04/2023 - Released Act 1 - part 3.

10/05/2023 - Released an update that reworked the stats, and chose a name for Kit rather than making the player choose. Also made some optimisation fixes.

18/06/2023 - Implemented difficulty levels.

27/06/2023 - Stats screen overhaul

19/07/2023 - Released Act 2 - Part 1

24/08/2023 - Released an update that aimed to improve the MC’s react ability, as well as other minor fixes.

29/11/2023 - Released Act 2 - Part 2. Alongside a long overdue coding overhaul.

31/1/2024 - Released Act 2 - Part 3.

1/2/2024 - Released a small update to fix some identified errors and typos.

342 Likes

Oh hey another japanese culture story!, i am pretty sure this is gonna be awesome!

3 Likes

Premise and everything is already interesting as hell, also kitsune RO is always a win.

10 Likes

Why do you think I have this profile pic? :smile:

16 Likes

If that’s what Kit looks like, then my RO is decided.

5 Likes

Interesting. Is this fantasy? I see kitsune but am unsure.

2 Likes

It is set in modern day, with inspiration from Japanese mythology and Folklore.

Kitsune’s are actually a large part of Japanese Mythology, and many historical figures were believed to actually be Kitsune.

10 Likes

What a hook! :rofl: The opening passage has me in tears!

3 Likes

Sounds interesting

1 Like

The weeb in me is demanding more even though I’m trying to practice patience as a human being
image

20 Likes

This is s~super hard to code then?
Godspeed, the best things in W.I.P. s are the hardest to code.
I LOVE what you did making a modern genre and Japan’s folklore.

Will there be a Thousand demon parade?

This is exciting!!!

6 Likes

Currently I am experiencing an issue that when I get the weapon it doesn’t register so I can’t continue the demo. Also the man who got knocked out in the smoking area is magically fine. Other wise I like the writing so far :+1:t2:

3 Likes

@ArtemisFowl The story will be grounded in reality for the first few parts, (for the most part, as this sure as hell isn’t realistic.) But in parts near the end, I have plans to ramp up the supernatural influence, so there’s no telling what might happen.

@Lucas_Gendron Which weapon did you choose? And what route did you take to complete the smoking area?

7 Likes

Yaaaas, I can’t wait for more. I adore the whole back from the dead and on a vengeance trope!! The Kitsune RO has also grabbed my attention.

2 Likes

Mmm yeah, I’m experiencing the same issue with the weapons. I’ve clicked on every weapon and Kage keeps sending me back whenever I go to carriage 7.

2 Likes

Oooooh, I’ve realised the issue. I actually had only set the game to recognise you as having the weapon if you went down the fake smoke path. :upside_down_face:

I’ll release a patch immediately.

3 Likes

Okay, I believe the issue is fixed now. I ran a quick test myself and it seems to be working.

2 Likes

I picked unarmed and got the brass knuckles but the choice to use them was unavailable

1 Like

That issue is fixed now! You can now punch the guards at first class to your hearts content!

3 Likes

Got a question. Do you want feedback on accuracy? Such as trains use of electronic fare purchase here? Or specifically on that train, you can’t even go through the gates without proof of ticket, let alone get on the train. Nor would someone approach you for something like that. I’ve got some notes, but I do not want to waste anyone’s time if they are not needed/wanted.

3 Likes