The Onryō of Osaka. [WIP] (Act Three part one released 31/1/2025. 164k Words.) [Supernatural Vigilante | Japanese Mythology]

Currently regretting having the time between leaving Ryoji/Ryuko in the ex-yakuza backstory being only five years, because I cannot make a “ten years in the joint” reference.

I may be crying.

In other news, I should be ready to drop the update within 24 hours of this post, bar anything emergency-wise happening.

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Hi all, I’m happy to announce the new port to the new site, as well as the release of Act 3 Part one!

Features included in this update:

  • A port to the new site, since Dash is being discontinued.
  • Act 3 part one.
  • I moved the side stories into the actual game, since the old links were on dashingdon, and I like them too much to not make them part of the actual game anyway. The Kit and Makoto one contains some important plot points anyway, so I’ve made that a part of the actual story, but Watanabe’s is optional.
  • I had an extensive rewrite of much of the earlier chapters.
  • Made it possible for Masa and Sasaki to be your ex.
  • And on the murdered parents backstory, you can choose whether your mc is oblivious to Makoto’s crush or not.
  • And please for the love of god someone stop me adding more metaphors whenever Izanami-no-mikoto speaks, I swear this is like an addiction at this point.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy. Sorry again that it took so long.

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Deaths: 2

Targeting: 7

Dexterity: 33

Strength: 14

Persuasion: 16

Agility: 13

Perception: 16

Additionally, you pet Kit a total of 2 times.

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I don’t know if it has been pointed out before’ but the following line seems like a mistake.
“Well go over it quick. The Shinkansen has the Kanji for high-speed-line for a reason.”
The kanji for Shinkansen is 「新幹線」。Are you sure you’re not mistaking it for 「特急」? Those are diesel electric express trains running long distances.
新: Kanji for “New” whose Chinese reading is Shin
Likewise
幹: Kanji for “Trunk”
線: Kanji for “Line”.
The term “trunk line” in the context of railways refers to a main line or route that forms the core of a transportation network. It’s like the trunk of a tree, from which branches (other lines) extend.
In the case of the Shinkansen, it was envisioned as the primary, high-speed artery connecting major cities in Japan.

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No, that’s definitely a mistake on my part. I’m still learning Japanese so any corrections is welcome!

As for this specific line, I originally had Kage saying “The Shinkansen is called a Bullet Train in English for a reason”, but a Japanese person pointed out to me that a Japanese person wouldn’t say something like that, and suggested this line as an alternative that a native might say. I will admit neglecting to look up the specific meaning of the kanji in this case.

I will try looking for a more accurate line, while still keeping in the spirit of Kage’s joke here.

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I honestly don’t see a problem with that line. Sounds like something a train otaku would say.
You can even modify it to something like -
K: Well go over it it quick. Speaking of quick, did you know that they call the Shinkansen as ‘bullet train’ in English?
R: Oh- I guess that’s, interesting?
K: Yep. It comes from the original name from the early planning stages, when they called it the 弾丸列車(dangan ressha, lit. Bullet train) because of the flat bullet shaped nose of the train. Now, if you look at the N700S you are on, the nose is not-
R: K, that was very interesting. Can we focus on the mission now?

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That’s amazing, actually. I hope you don’t mind if I steal that?
:worried:

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Go ahead. :slightly_smiling_face:
My suggestion was a draft. Adjust the tone to make it suitable to K and R’s respective personalities.

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Perfect just perfect

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Oh and one more thing that stood out to me… :slightly_smiling_face:

“Ugh, black is such a dull colour. Not like green, green means good! That’s why it’s on traffic lights.” Midori says in a bored tone.

We use the word for blue「青」 to describe a green「緑」 signal for traffic lights (among other green stuff) .
As in 「青信号」
Not
「緑信号」

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Oh, that’s interesting! But this line is more a reference that Midori really likes the colour green, so I’ll have to change it to something else. Using the word blue wouldn’t really keep the context of what I want her to say, so if there’s anything that you call green straight out, I could probably use that instead. Otherwise I’ll probably have to think of something else for her to say in this scene.

And by the way, all your feedback for Japanese context is really appreciated! Thank you!

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You’re welcome. :slightly_smiling_face:
Yes. I understand what you are trying to do. It’s just that the simile did not translate well in my head. The green for signals clashed with the word for blue to me. I’m afraid I don’t really have a better alternative. :sweat_smile:
English is not my native language. So that might be the reason.
I’m slowly going through your story, and I’ve really enjoyed what I’ve seen so far.

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Released a small update today with the following features:

  • Improved the wording in several locations for Japanese contextual accuracy.
  • Added a scene I realised I completely forgot about in act 3 (Midori choosing her codename)
  • Tweaked around with the numbers during the rewind section in act 2, to hopefully improve balance.
  • Added another metaphor being said by Izanami-no-mikoto
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Just hopping in to say that I like your updated dialogue for the bullet train. :grinning:

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How scary and strong will the mc be going forward on the scale of 1-10 ninja kamui style

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I would like to avoid spoiling the plot, but to give a quick synopsis of my notes:

For now, I’d place the mc at around a 4

But in Act 5, something will happen, and depending on your chosen path will put the mc at anywhere between a 5 and a 9.

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