I get your point about the tickets. I heavily researched the Skinkansen, but i opted to include the ticket checking scene as a way to introduce the MC’s name rather than a traditional “enter your name” scene. It does break the illusion of reality, but then, so does dying and coming back to life, doesn’t it?
So other than the tickets, any other accuracy issues would be welcome!
A Japanese style game, including Yakuza, Onryō’s with a “Return by Death!” mechanic and a KITSUNE that we get to RO.
Count me in immediately.
I’ve released another patch that should hopefully fix all the ‘looping’ issues, and errors that prevented progression. I’ve also added case files for the 4 Busujima siblings to the stats menu.
Also, i just wanted to provide a link, incase anyone was interested in learning more about Onryōs, here.
Just finished the demo and it was a pleasant surprise so far.
I like the description of the weapons so far and there’s some interesting stuff like the train layout that could develop into neat mechanics.
Outside some awkward phrasing once or twice, the only real criticisms I can think of is the opening warning sound a bit condescending and how you get caught and killed is a bit too out of nowhere which is kinda of a waste since it would be a good occasion to make you feel like you’re well and truly fucked as the mission goes totally wrong and you keep falling to course correct it.
Not sure about the stats either because while having the options to wield guns, katanas and fist is nice, each having its own stat seems kinda wasteful since essentially they are just different flavor of a ‘combat’ stat. Still very neat to have options for how you want to fight, as long as it’s actually taken into account instead of just having the fight scene so vague it somewhat fit all options at once (like some Mecha games have done after getting too ambitious on the weapon options)
It’s a bit early to judge beyond that but there’s some great potential there and what’s already there is pretty neat.
Oh, forgot to mention but the backstory options were cool too, some nice foreshadowing in there too if you pay attention.
Hi! Glad you liked it.
I understand the stats may feel overwhelming, but in reality, they only serve a purpose in killing you. I plan to make each ‘mission’, as it were contain multiple different paths to multiple different outcomes. The opening ‘mission’ only contains a few routes, and one ending so as to give you a taste of the main mechanic, in other words, it’s a tutorial. Essentially, each choice will require a stat to be tested, and if it isn’t over a certain number, you die, or in the case of this mission, captured and executed by Kaito. And every time you use a stat, it is increased by one point, regardless of if you succed or not. In truth, i felt like I should’ve added more stats, but stopped myself, as the first draft for the rest of the mission was already looking like a spiderweb.
But otherwise, the whole getting captured by Kaito thing is meant to represent that this is your destiny, you were meant to die here, end of story. But you were literally too angry to die, and came back to life. The opening warning is meant to be just that, a warning that you will die, probably a lot. I apologise if it sounds condescending, but I just wanted to communicate that the potential deaths that I have planned for the MC will not be pleasant. Examples include: Getting run over by the Shinkansen, getting shot in the head by a Yakuza member after you walk in on him in the toilet, being beheaded by an overhead sign because you forgot to duck while on the roof of the train, and many more.
Thank you again for your feedback! Have a great day!
Okay, so this is just a partial list of things that were off. Putting the wall of text under tags so as not to flood everyone who may not want to read all of it.
The Shinto kamisama names must always be spelled respectfully.
With the exceptions of Izanami and Izanagi accompanied by “No Mikoto” since they were creators, all the other kamisama are referred to by their names along with “Omikami”
“Inari Omikami” “Amaterasu Omikami” etc etc. (There may be specific exceptions, but it’s considered okay if the omikami title is simply use, if in doubt)
Not referring to them like that, it’s considered a sign of deep disrespect inside the country.
Shinkansen scene:
Calling the protagonist “Rei-Kun” is wrong. Not only it should be written as “Reikun” or “Rei-kun” but using that honorific is not suitable for the situation.
For starters only high schoolers or people with truly deep relationships, would refer to each other as “-kun”. Keep in mind that Japanese are not as extrovert as other cultures, so for two Japanese to have a deep relationship, they would have to spent a lot of time together, and know a lot about each other. This doesn’t seem to be the case (at the moment)
Keep in mind too, that “-kun” is usually used for males, while “-chan” is usually used for children and females (which was done right).
The only situation in which maybe “kun” would be used between too adults, would be if they were work colleges, and one party was the senior of the other party. But we would be talking about a huge age gap. Like one person being 50 years and the other 25, for explaining it properly.
In this case I think it would be better for “Kage” to either refer the MC as “Rei” or if Kage wants to be polite “Rei-san”
About the ticket scene (side note, I would dismiss it for creative reasons, but my friend is Japanese and she is not, so it made the list anyway). Her suggested: it would be interesting to make some pointers. Japan doesn’t use paper tickets anymore; they use electronic cards or their phones directly. Keep in mind too, that Japan is a truly polite country, and for accuracy, it would be considered deeply rude to ask a passenger for the ticket. There’s also no need, since the shinkansen access gates are always guarded, so you must have a ticket when boarding the train.
A suggestion, if you want to introduce the MC name there’s a more accurate way to doing. Long distance bullet trains, usually offer bento or snacks to their passengers, and the payment is usually done using an electronic card or more commonly a SUICA card. So the MC could be paying using that method (And even if SUICA cards doesn’t have the titular name on them) you could take the creative liberty of saying the name is on the card. This way you get the same effect, and make the whole thing more accurate.
Another thing that I believe could be changed, because it feels weird, is two Japanese men talking about how something is said in English. So instead of saying “Its called Bullet train in English for a reason” since they are Japanese, it would be fitting and pretty original to make a joke referring the Kanji “新幹線”Shinkansen, And say something along the lines of “It has the Kanji for high speed line after all” or something of the sort. It will make the conversation feel more genuine.
When we get to choose or specialty, I went for the Katana specialty. But I think you should change the “My classmates called me the Samurai” because a Japanese person, would never use that as a nickname for a kendo practitioner, since Samurai would refer more to a social status or nobility. Instead you could use something like I was called “The second coming of Musashi” or I was called “The incarnation of Muramasa” those sounds dramatic, but more accurate.
About the katana training, I will give some pointers to make it more realistic an accurate. Kendo practitioner start with “bamboo” sticks, not blades, but there are different kinds. First is there the “shinai” that is the lighter one, and for beginners. Then he could move to using Bokken (Actual Bamboo blade) that is more close to the katana in weight and is good to train. Then move to Katana. It would be advisable for the MC to have been practicing since he was a child (not weird) so it would make sense for the MC to have a certain grade of mastery when it comes to use a Katana. Keep in mind, that you cannot bring a katana with you in modern Japan, unless you hide it. Police would stop you.
About the names:
You let the player choose “traditional names” but mostly of those are not traditional at all, and some of them are not even considered names.
If you are trying to be accurate, you must not use “kira kira” names, like “Yami” for example. Keep in in mind, that names are really important in Japan, since parents tend to name their children regarding to what they want for them. If you want a strong boy you will use the strong kanji, kind the kind like kanji. It goes to the point, that when you go to register your baby’s name, the civil servant could negate your name if they believe the name is not appropriate. If you try to call your child “lord of the night” or “pure darkness” those may not be seen as appropriate.
This online list, come with the kanji and the meaning easy to understand:
100 Japanese Baby Names: Meanings & Origins
But in case you would want to make your own names, in a truly traditional way I would recommend the following tip:
Traditional mal names tend to end with-maru most of the time, because it’s a particle referring to “the strength of a man”. So you use the adjective you want and add “maru”
Now with female names, it’s the same formula, but instead you use the “ko” Kanji, who refers to “girl”. Then you use the adjective you want. Its very normal to use “flower” like adjectives or names along with the “ko”.
A lot of names in Japanese are gender neutral, with the exception of the ones with a obvious “gender” meaning.
I know there are some creative liberties that are necessary for story, but these are some things for societal accuracy that really felt off.
Thank you so much, It’s clear I still have much to learn, but I wish to be as faithul as possible to Japan, while still being veiwed by a western audience, because of being written in English.
I’ll start working on a second draft immediately. If you have anything else to add, please don’t hesitate. 
@Radiantbliss Just one more thing quickly, is it respectful to refer to Izanami-No-Mikoto, and Izanagi-No-Mikoto, as [their name]-Sama? Because I have the MC refer to Izanami-No-Mikoto like that several times, and if its disrespectful i will change it immediately.
It is no problem. Most of the notes are from my friend (who is a Shinto practicing Japanese woman), we have discussions on the topics. If you want I can dm you more information and if you have questions I know she is more than happy to answer any and all (she doesn’t come on the forums much) things in relation. I am sure she would even be excited to talk about the structures of the yakuza if you want to know the non-filtered perspective. And both of us would love seeing an IF show the culture respectfully, even if some creative adjustments are had. 
Edit- I forgot to answer the question. it does have to be No Mikoto for those two, because they are founders and respect is necessary. The others can definitely be Sama.
Look forward to passing notes.
That would be great! Thank you! I’ll DM you if I come up with any questions. (So expect one very soon. 
)And tell her I’m sorry if i butchered the Kanji. I have started learning Japanese alongside this project, but at the present moment I only know 4 Hirangana. Them being こ, し, す, and う. I admit most of the Kanji that is in the game was just run through google tranlsate.
This game sounds really interesting! I love your writing style, and the cliffhanger at the end only makes me want more
Here were my stats:
Guns: 11
Blades: 10
Unarmed: 6
Persuasion: 12
Agility: 10
Perception: 22
An interesting demo so far. I’m really enjoying the amount of lore you’re packing into the story, and I’m looking forward to how you explore that going forward. Best of luck.
Stats are as follows:
• Guns: 5
• Blades: 22
• Unarmed: 11
• Agility: 10
• Perception: 11
Oh boy another demo that already has me hooked. Also can’t wait for Kitsune RO.
If you do not mind can you tell us more about the ros personalities?
Oh shoot, that totally slipped my mind. I was focusing more on the Busujima siblings. I’ll update the topic post immediately.
A JPop idol who is also a sadist? Color me intrigued
That image gives me a weird feeling in my stomach 
On one hand, i feel bad for doing that to you. On the other hand, your reaction had me chuckling for about 5 minutes
Looks pretty interesting and I’m looking forward to seeing more of it. I love the modern Japanese and yakuza theme.
I’m just wondering what was the decision behind the names you can choose for MC? I picked the option for traditionally-feminine names, but at most 2 out of the 5 options could be considered feminine, Kuro, Shi and Yami feel more like unisex/gender-neutral names, if you ignore that they’re kind of odd names to begin with or more suited to being edgy codenames, as they simply translate to Black, City, and Darkness/Underworld.
There’s also a weird mix of using kanji, hiragana and katakana, not sure why Haruka is the only one with hiragana and Yami is the only one in katakana. Kata is generally for foreign words or names, like how someone named Chris would be Kurisu in katakana but a Japanese person with the name Kurisu could have kanji pronounced that way or just written in hiragana.
Anyway, good luck writing.
When i first created the naming system i chose names that had dark undertones, ya know, cause of the fact you become an Onryō. But i will be completely redoing the names in the next update, as well as many other things that should make the story more believable to be Japanese.
I’m also learning the Japanese language alongside writing this project, so for now, most of the names were just run through google translate. I’m currently on the Hiragana, so I can type a few words, but no names. はい, i hope to get better as time goes on, so bear with me.
