I’ll refer you to my previous question who let us out hopefully this is the person who will have the answer
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Okay how about…shouldn’t a “chosen one” have some actual powers?
I mean if Artie is powerful enough to not so surreptitiously manipulate stuff to force a sports match in Atlantis to a draw then what the heck is our power.
Unless the mc’s kind of “chosen one” power is as the “chosen” sacrifice…in which case…forget it. I mean ever since the possibility of two chosen ones was sprung my mc is well read enough even from the public libraries to know that in fantasy there tend to be two types of chosen ones, the ones who do cool stuff with cool powers and the ones who exist only as a sacrifice of sorts and since we are not the former sort my mc is beginning to dread the possibility of maybe being the latter. 
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I’m afraid I’m not entirely sure how I could fit that question in. 
(Besides, the answer would just be “yes”, with no further explanation. 
)
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It’s less of a question and more of a fear of being the chosen sacrifice. So maybe you can fit it into the internal monologue of some mc’s instead.
I mean my mc is not going to be a sacrifice so it really is time to begin to work around the no powers thing and start really setting, for my mc at least, his magical supercomputer project into a much higher gear and see about the possibility of learning to craft his own enchanted guns and learn to fight with them. 
I mean my mc is going to teach a possibly magical computer to do his probability bending for him or die trying, at least that is better than dying as an unpaid sacrifice for the glory of Artie.
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well … considering that they have already tried to trick us into fulfilling a “destiny” maybe and just maybe artie is a fake chosen one and he knows that he is fake, maybe everything related to a second chosen one It is part of the prophecy, but they do not tell the Mc to make him feel that he is powerless and that gonna forces him to show himself that he can do it and he will become more powerful or maybe I’m just crazy (maybe something random happens like “artie it turns out to be karakan” or better yet "the mc is karakan ")
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Stats
Penelope Stark:
Strength: 50
Intelligence: 6
Charisma: 6
Total: 62 (New save.)
Hopeful: 38
Mundane: 64
Lawful: 44
Ædmund: 58
Charles: 60
Dahlia: 57
Helena: 57
Kevin: 59
Max: 67
Teri: 56
Xiulan: 58
Artie: 58
Professor Karline: 50
Ædmund bonus stat: 1
I played as a feral dumpster baby who mostly just went along with things for lunch and sent rude letters to every adult they could, minus one friendly letter for the Dread Lord. 10/10 would literally try to fist fight wizards again.
On a serious note I played a much older version of the game and wasn’t super into it, I don’t know if I changed or if the game changed, but I really enjoyed this most recent build of the game. I’m going to play a much more active character next, but even playing a feral goblin who is only here to steal from Aeddies fridge and to inform his elder sibling that I will HAVE MY REVENGE (cue evil laugh) I really enjoyed myself.
I really liked the writing and pacing of the story. I like the mind control elements of the game because it genuinely makes you feel like a child where your choices aren’t really important to the adults in the room.
If I had one criticism it would be things can be a bit long winded and I had the tendency to skim the information, but I think that’s more of a personal taste thing that anything wrong with your writing.
7 Likes
If you’re still looking for ideas:
My MC would ask “Am I a Chosen One too?” - that would probably be the first question on his mind, especially after the last opportunity to ask questions. Like, it would come to his mind prior to even considering asking that same questions about if there can be two Chosen Ones.
If the person doesn’t know, he’d probably ask “Is there a way for me to know if I’m a Chosen One?”.
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Another question I came up with who is haunting my dreams and taunting me? Is it the demon king or something worse?
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I mean you say that, but wouldn’t you far prefer to ask a question that can more easily be answered in a technically correct, but completely meaningless manner? 
That was the Slave, the demon who infected your ankle, and then took over Larabelle.
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Nope 
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Well, I guess I’ll just have to be extra devious… 
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Now I’m picturing my MC asking “Am I a Chosen One too?”, and the person answering “Ho ho ho, do you want some tea?”, and then moving on.
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And updated! The current build is almost 230,000 words long, with an average playthrough length of 100,000 words. (For comparison, my previous game, Totem Force has 260,000 total words, and The One Chosen has a long way to go yet… 
)
Note that this latest chapter is quite long and complex, and it’s possible that I’ve missed something, so please be sure to alert me to any apparent inconsistencies.
One more thing; I’ve been thinking about starting up a Patreon, and was wondering if people would be interested in donating in exchange for things like advance looks at upcoming chapters and things like that? 
(Don’t worry, though, the demo will definitely still be updated here either way… )
42 Likes
It felt rather short to me on playthrough, be tortured for a couple of days and then escape. That said my mc was not very cooperative nor obstructive, never volunteered any information and only did exactly what was asked while plotting his escape.
Still cruel of you to leave off before our mc’s get out of that dreadful suit. 
Oh, and I guess we have also lost some of our best clothes in the process.
You have given my mc a group he now hates more than even Charlie’s dad and second only to Birton.
My mc just hates it when dubious people kidnap and torture kids like him, so really they are in the same proverbial boat as Birton and that is a boat my mc would prefer to set on fire and then sink in that order.
So while my mc normally tries to prevent death and needless violence they may now be the second exception to that along with Birton. 
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I know… 
Part of me wanted to make it stretch out longer, but this is already the third longest chapter, longer than the fourth- and fifth-longest combined, and almost tied for second… It’s probably one of the most branched chapters though, which would cause it to seem a lot shorter. Plus there is spoilery a plot reason why it couldn’t go on too long, but it is yet to be revealed…
And don’t worry, you will certainly be able to get more clothes… And I assume you wouldn’t wear your formal best to a picnic.
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But maybe my mc’s formal isn’t actually his best, unless of course his formal is allowed to be those full on prince charming style outfits, in which case yeah his formal would be his best.
Though he almost always wears fancy (knee high) boots outdoors and in school. Especially since one of the few times he didn’t was when a demon bit him in his ankle, something they could have prevented.
They’ve kind of become this mc of mine’s signature in my mind since chaos Eddie already does the leather pants thing very well. 
Well I assume sugar auntie is more than familiar with my mc’s tastes by now. Still I suppose he might nonetheless be able to take advantage of her pity to get himself a new pair of fancy boots and a new set of clothes.
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Really liked this update and the branching paths. also liked the choice for the MC to still not completely be over cramped dark places
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Just read the spoiler ( confused Pikachu face) this is gonna be very interesting 
can’t wait
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Huh. 
How did that get past RandomTest? Anyway, should be fixed now, I hope.
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