The New King
Hello fellas,it’s a new job i have made…it’s currently small i have made about 8 more pages of that and will post it pretty soon i guess.
Please tell me your opinion about it.

1 Like

Not so ‘opeful about a game I see a spellin’ error in the first paragraph:
“stripped you off your powers” - should be “of”.
“You would destroy them.” could be a new line as to emphasise the point.
“How do you feel about your new domain and powers.” should 'ave a question mark at the end.
“They’re a joke. They’re completely useless” and “They’re incredible. Panya made a mistake giving them to you” should ‘ave full stops at the end.
This is just the first page, I’ve tried goin’ further, cringed, and decided not to continue - I’m like this, really. Blame it on the OCD. However, I like the idea, and I wish ya good luck.

urr in fact that’s a mistake.this is a part of a previous game it’s 6 to 7 pages later the new one. Also sorry about the spelling mistakes but english isn’t my language.I m Greek

Have another read through the game. There’s a number of errors but I’m not going to pick at them.

The story itself is interesting, I like how you’ve implemented the choices and that there’s lots of them. It helps me feel involved in the story. You’ve also just plunged us in which is how I prefer games to be, even if it’s a little strange being asked my opinion on things I’m not quite sure of yet it does still help me feel part of things.

I see there’s one area where you have it call your second one of three names but you’ve not implemented the code there so it just chooses the name of the second you’ve picked. Do you know how to do that?

Well you’ve written the game in English far better than I could ever write in Greek. :slight_smile: Have you a spellchecker you can run through it though? It won’t pick up all the mistakes but it should find some. Also people like Bagelthief will be utterly invaluable when it comes to fixing things I’m sure.

It’s very interesting. The first part was a little confusing but I enjoyed what u had so far none the less.

dude…thanks but I’ll probably just let it go…I was working with 2Ton in that.He was the programmer and there are mistakes like the two stories blended together(being a god and being a soldier) that haven’t been corrected since i started the new game so I think I’ll late it go.What do you think?

Unless you can help with the programming and spelling errors in which case I’ll be happy to continue

Oh are we not a god and a soldier? I was hoping that we were a god who was reincarnated as a soldier, who couldn’t remember their godly life but was going to eventually make everyone worship us. Get @2Ton to fix the mistakes then. :slight_smile:

I have already…like three times :stuck_out_tongue:

and that’s a great idea!!!

Not gonna lie everyone… I’m not gonna full proof read the story my english is horrible and it’s my native language but ill do I skim through and change anything I see is wrong

@2Ton I meant fix the mistake where it says that you’re second is called one of three names, as opposed to using a variable and remember which second you chose. You’re already doing a lot to help out though.

@Alexpap Just pretend it was the point all along. :slight_smile: I was really wanting to be the god-soldier-king. I think it’s a great hook.

@Alexpap, you could always use a grammar-checker. That’s what I usually use on projects or writing formally. Just remember - only use it on the Dialogue, not the code.

OMG I still didnt fix that?! Sorry about that ill fix it

Everything should be in semi-order

I’m pretty lazy, and a pretty hardcore procrastinator, but when I do work I’m working on about 7 different projects. I code for many people you guys don’t even know, at this point I think it’s safe to say im a code whore.

you really need to go back over what you have written and reword or make it a lot more clear who is talking and work on the descriptions. other than that it is a very good start and I have hope for this one as it was fun.

Love it, and once you have made it clearer I am sure that everyone will like it even more!

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