The Nellis Noble Magical Academy(WIP) - Update 20 August 2019

Greetings potential readers, I would like to present my first game Nellis Noble Magical Academy. Where you play as a new student at Nellis Noble Academy, a secret magic school that teaches its students with the goal of integrating them with the majority of non-magical human society in the hopes of developing a relationship of goodwill. If the mention of superhumans feels out of place, don’t worry, that will come into play later.

Currently, I only have part of the first chapter written. I would like to receive the whole gambit of feedback. Any errors you come across, inconsistencies, coding errors, narrative awkwardness and generally what you’re interested in regarding the setting and characters.

RO’s
Alexander Vega; A young man who possesses an intense love for knowledge as well as for sharing it. He is excited to begin learning magic, especially the arcane.

Eliza Buren; A young woman who has a passion for everything mechanical, hoping to wield Tech Magic to build what will be considered the most advanced technology of the current century.

Hussein Benglish; A young hard working man, grateful to have been accepted into the Academy so that he can forge a fruitful life for himself.

Ramona Thalius; A young woman with a great love for art and life, including everything that exists a little past conventional life who wishes to find someone who shares that fascination.

Ilsa Vanarie; A second-year student who enjoys using her magic for mischief and using her charm to present a good first impression.

Tomomi; A centuries-old kitsune who appreciates the company of those who enjoy surrounding themselves in nature and listening to his soft wisdom.

Manuel Gutierrez ; A vampire who has only recently come to terms with his undead nature and hopes to find a new connection to the living nature of humanity.

Pearl of Nellis Coast; A playful mermaid who likes getting to know the Academy students hoping one of them will develop a more personal relationship with her.

Demo: https://dashingdon.com/play/velmiawarin/magic-arcana-academia/mygame/

Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/velmia-warins-blog

Update Log:
7/30/2019 - Good news! I finally have a working save system up!
8/20/2019 - Chapter 1 is being overhauled.

142 Likes

Found a bug, also I’ve never been the first reply before, this cool!

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Got a similar bug when I picked the third option, the one where you politely shake both hands. firstscene line 96: It is illegal to fall out of a *choice statement; you must *goto or *finish before the end of the indented block. But when I picked the last option, the flirtatious one, the game proceeded as normal and I made it to the end of the demo. Can I just say I really enjoyed what I read so far, and I’m psyched for reading more. Magic school settings are my favourite and yours seems really interesting with a tonne of different classes.

Descriptive writing in terms of the dorm mates appearances was top notch, very well done, I could visualise them easily. I picked the noble origin and saw it already had an effect on the story, with mentions of your noble crest probably being the walls, so that was a nice touch. The headmaster came off as a bit of creep for casually riffling through my head, but that was probably intentional. Thanks for a good read!

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Thank you, the bug should be fixed now. I’m glad you’re my first reply.

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Seems interesting but it was rather short. Also, I don’t know if you’re aware but there’s a WIP with a very similar name so you might want to review that? Idk. Also adding a save option would be great.

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Thank you, bug should be fixed now. I really like magic school settings too which is why I’m making it my first game. Yeah, I really have a set idea as to what the dorm mates are going to look like. Yeah, I like the background to do things like give flavor text.

Yeah, the Headmaster is meant to be a bit of a creep and detached from quite a few social norms. Thus the protests of the MC. You’re welcome, I plan on bringing more.

Yeah, this is a sliver done. Alright I’ll probably just name it after the school and I’ll work on adding the save feature.

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I like this so far, the flavor from the different backgrounds is fun and the fact that superpowers will eventually start to appear is a nice addition to the whole magic thing. I always like seeing them interact. I’m looking forward to updates!

I already have a clear picture of the npcs we’ve met and my own mc, which it’s impressive given how early in the game it is. The transition to the flashback was a little bit abrupt though, I was kinda caught off guard by my character suddenly talking about embalming and chatting with a ghost.

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Quite short but I see no spelling errors and I am quite interested in where the story will go in the future so keep up the great work :+1::grin:

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I’m glad you’re looking forward to updates and have a clear picture of many of the characters. Regarding the flashback, is it abrupt in general or is that when you choose the option where the Headmaster doesn’t have to prove magic to you?

Thank you.

I’d say in general. It is still kinda abrupt when you have to have magic proven to you though not as bad

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Cool game I love magic

I need more of this…like now

What does the “essence” stat mean, if it’s not a spoiler, the other two are rather obvious but I’m a tad confused about this one.

Intelligence, constitution, and essence each provide a boost to the MC’s learning ability to a certain set of each of the schools of magic. Intelligence relates to the Arcane, Rune, and Tech schools of magic as they rely most on direct studies and the use of the mind in magic. Constitution relies on the strength of the body that makes it easier to master the physical manipulation of the elemental schools of magic, fire, earth, water, and air. Essence relates to the MC’s connection to the life force or “essence” that flows through every living thing both while they are alive and the lingering or transformed energy of the undead thus providing a boost to their studies in life and death magic.

6 Likes

that sounds so awesome

Thank you.

Thank you.

Now I know I’m focusing on intelligence and essence then, guess I’ll do the elements for another time.