The Myrmidon (WIP) (Minor update 03/10/2017)

Ok! So I have a minor content update today, nothing too substantive, but I have finally gotten round to placing in all of the necessary code fragments and pronouns necessary for a third gender!

So now non-binary people can feel just a teensy bit more invested in the story.

I’ve also added an expansion to the character-building section, with more unusual skin-tones, hair colours and eyes due to the wonders of Genetic Tampering (Coming soon to a failed Utopia near you!)

I’d appreciate any feedback as per usual, and I assure you that more substantive updates are in the pipeline.

Now that that is over with, on to the good bits!:

Etienne and Echo are 21 years old, and therefore this is their first ‘season’, where nobles come to hunt for spouses and make political alliances (often mixing the two activities together to save time).

That’s why Lady Calinas’ plan has to happen now. There is precisely zero chance that the twins will not be inundated with attractive suitors, and they will be strongly encouraged to choose a spouse, to determine the future direction of the Monarchy.

The stakes are high, and every noble with a child you can take out in the daylight is going to be there, trying to snag one of them.

The neckline isn’t necessarily a problem per se, but it does encourage accusations of narcissism and shallowness, two things that a Princess should not wish to be associated with.

I honestly haven’t decided the fate of the Queen. I’m inclined to think that she has passed on because it adds more urgency to the Royal Succession if there is nobody except Etienne or Echo to take the throne.

That is one of the angles I’d like to cover in the Noble path, do you show loyalty to your Mother by pushing young Etienne to abandon his studies in favour of his statecraft? Or browbeat Echo into acting in a manner befitting her station so you can push Mother’s policies into law?

While they possess all of the correct parts for procreating in theory, they are technically speaking a different species. I don’t 100% know whether Humans and Myrmidons will be able to interbreed, but there probably wouldn’t be a lot of tension between the two races if they could…

I’m not condoning any course of action that involves mechanized assassination, you infer what you want…

I should imagine there is a very sudden reconciliation as soon as she knows, then a concerted attempt to pass off the child as their spouse’s. If that doesn’t work, there will be scandal and grounds for divorce, which is not commonly employed but is an effective deterrent against accidental pregnancy because if there is one thing nobles don’t stand for it is losing money.

I can see the wheels turning in your head there…

Both are single, both have been jealously guarded since birth to ensure that they do not form any ‘untoward’ attachments to anyone but their future potential spouse. Their Father has always been acutely aware that his children are political currency, and he will not allow anything to devalue that currency.

I feel like I want to pre-emptively warn my characters about you…

11 Likes

I hadn’t noticed before that when you act sad and scared during the first (well, first save for their dramatic entrance) meeting with everyone on the Rebel Path, Momo’s smile is described as “maternal” which only furthers my love and theory of Momo’s being the mom figure/friend.

I really, really like Echo. A lot. Just imagine all the scandals and chaos in the kingdom if she was Queen. I love it.

I like all the new bits and pieces! Especially the little “genetically augmented” tidbit which adds to the whole sci-fi feeling of the story. One thing I’m curious about is how common are these augmentations? Do lots of people have odd colored eyes within the society or is it more of an… acquired taste? (I imagine a teenager and their parent, one chastising the other “You’ll regret it, honey! I had a genetic augmentation phase too when I was your age, but trust me when I say you’ll grow out of it!”)

One typo I found (extremely minor), when you first get away from the party choosing the Rebel path:

"Nex gently tugs on Radjack’s arm, receiving a vicious look for his trouble.

“Easy, Jack. zhe’s in shock, and we don’t know what the conditions were like up there. Let’s just get zher home and take it from there, ok?” "

If I’m not mistaken ‘zhe’ should be capitalized.

Also all this talk of affairs and such got me wondering:

Has Lady Calinas ever been in an affair? I know she mentions that she was married, but I’m curious as to how… happy the ‘happy couple’ was.

3 Likes

Okay after playing the rebel path again I’m curious. How much of Flashs personality do we get to decide? Like will there be flashbacks or some kind of choice for the person that was or is he like an entirely different character with a personality that’s pretty much set in stone save for the few choices we make in the beginning?

1 Like

She’s a doll, really she is.

It would be a terrible uphill struggle against an ocean of vile, spiteful vested interests. She might need a strong hand to help her…

These gene-augmentations were made thousands of years ago, and persist as dominant genes today. So they’re pretty common. People just assume that this is how people look. They wouldn’t be surprised to see a green-skinned woman walking down the street, because that is just another human variation now. Most of their abilities are fairly low-key, so they go mostly unnoticed by society at large. For example if you’re green, you’ll probably have a touch of Seasonal Affective Disorder, simply because you have more energy on sunny days, but nobody will necessarily know why that is.

Fixed. Nice catch, that one’s been floating around for months it would seem.

I’m currently debating whether there should be a minor plot arc about this, but so far its a tad NC-17, so I’ll just leave it on the cutting-room floor for now, maybe give it to @OScott for processing…

No flashbacks, I’m afraid… However the small choices you get to make about Flash’s personality have mostly been made. Flash is their own distinct person, and part of the game is finding a way to either distance yourself from or reconcile yourself with that distinct person. So Flash has a pre-determined personality, and you have to decide whether you want to embrace it or rebel against it.

3 Likes

argh, the more I read about Echo, the more I like her. Radjack and his merry band have already claimed my first playthrough, Princess, stop being so… so… weirdly adorable.

But, I’ve a thought. If, by some weird miracle, a group of rebellious kidnappers were to manage to make their way to the Princess’ quarters and, y’know, attempt a kidnapping, would she encourage and help them? If they made it obvious that she wasn’t about to die, I mean.

you rang?


Ooh, the Lady C’s been getting some illicit D? Or, perhaps, the yonic’s more her adulterous tonic? Maybe she doesn’t care which scratches this particular primal itch…

Anyway. I’m down for processing.

6 Likes

I really enjoyed the demo! I love how the different quirks that you can choose Lead to a differnt personality! Very interesting premise and the deadpool reference are just A+!

Your writing style is very unique, it’s very flowery? And flowy and very proper, which for the setting seems rather applicable? It’s more of a brain workout xD which isint bad at all!

I enjoyed what I read so far and wait with baited breath for more!

1 Like

She’s the best, I’m going to enjoy subjecting her to the horrors of being written about by me.

Crossovers and AUs are usually the exclusive domain of @RenaB, but if you’re feeling brave…

See, this is why you’re on the payroll, right here.

I love having new readers! I’m so glad you liked it. For future reference though, you marked the Ferris Bueller’s Day Off reference with an A+. This thread is something of a pop-cultureocracy.

You are positively a tonic for all my woes. You may stay.

Another reason for me to get back to it, then. If you’re jonesing for some more plot to unravel, dotted throughout this thread are ‘teaser’ scenes from later in the game, mostly romantic in focus but studded with crucial plot information nevertheless, I’ll try and collate them into a single document and post them at the top of the thread at some point tonight.

…The reason for not doing so already eludes me at the moment…

4 Likes

I am but a humble log containing the soul of a lady’s dead husband - bravery isn’t exactly on my list of functions.

…besides, I’m saving all of my AU energy for my ‘literally everything is the same except Flash is a kitten’ fanfic idea: The Meow-mydion, coming eventually (maybe?) to an internet near you.

S’what I’m here for! Sex jokes and… well. No, actually, that’s pretty much all I’ve got.

3 Likes

Ok, so I’m way too tired to put together a proper teaser scene document tonight, but rest assured it is going to happen before the weekend hits.

This I swear.

Just the merest hint of this existing is the most gracious compliment I have ever received. I feel compelled to write a faux-teaser scene.

But not tonight…

Speaking of compliments: @Cherry_Summer you are super talented! I saw your art blog in your profile and we should definitely talk commissions sometime when I have something more substantial to work off of.

2 Likes

'tis a compliment well earned, my good sir.

…I also just realized that I completely butchered the last bits of that title. It should read something like The Meow-midon, but… Eh, I won’t be the one to change it.

Of course, now I absolutely must ask - who, in this colorful cast of characters, are the cat people? And who are the dog people?

Easy, just remember the first law of nature: Cats Rule and Dogs Drool

oh! thank you so much hahah ;u; I’m so flattered!

Also omg, Just a heads up, commercial work will def be priced differently than personal work, and if I’m designing some characters (or not drawing form a picture reference) it’ll probs be extra as well, I’d still be totally up to talking about it! c: (and looking forward to the finish of the game! haha)

1 Like

If you can’t tell already, then I have failed as a writer.

You are quite welcome.

…I don’t know why I was expecting a Gary Larson cartoon, but the fact that it’s actual science makes this so much better.

So everyone is a cat _purr_son - they’re drowning in kittens and feeling quite smitten. gotcha.

edit: … I do not remember making this post.

3 Likes

[quote=“Moreau, post:964, topic:15992, full:true”]Etienne and Echo are 21 years old, and therefore this is their first ‘season’, where nobles come to hunt for spouses and make political alliances (often mixing the two activities together to save time).

That’s why Lady Calinas’ plan has to happen now. There is precisely zero chance that the twins will not be inundated with attractive suitors, and they will be strongly encouraged to choose a spouse, to determine the future direction of the Monarchy.

The stakes are high, and every noble with a child you can take out in the daylight is going to be there, trying to snag one of them.[/quote]

Somehow, I suspect that as far as Calinas is concerned, failure is not an option.

[quote=“Moreau, post:964, topic:15992, full:true”][quote=“P_Tigras, post:963, topic:15992”]
Given the decadent licentious ways of the court, how is it that plunging necklines, even below the belly button ones, are scandalous? As I recall, Calinas showed off the pleasure myrmidon’s nude body to her guests, and then promptly named that myrmidon heir.
[/quote]

The neckline isn’t necessarily a problem per se, but it does encourage accusations of narcissism and shallowness, two things that a Princess should not wish to be associated with.[/quote]

The Princess’s altruistic concern for the well-being of the peasants, the very foundation upon which the nation is built, clearly demonstrates that she’s the responsible one in the room. If anyone is narcissistic and shallow, it’s all of the nobles who think only of their own aggrandizement and pleasure. Yes, I do believe my MC will tell her that. :smile_cat:

[quote=“Moreau, post:964, topic:15992, full:true”][quote=“P_Tigras, post:963, topic:15992”]
Is the mother of the royal twins still alive? If she is, how does she get along with her husband and children? If she isn’t, has the King remarried?
[/quote]

I honestly haven’t decided the fate of the Queen. I’m inclined to think that she has passed on because it adds more urgency to the Royal Succession if there is nobody except Etienne or Echo to take the throne.[/quote]

Speaking about being under pressure, and knowing your appreciation of David Bowie, I’m suddenly reminded of that particularly famous collaboration with Queen, Under Pressure.

[quote=“Moreau, post:964, topic:15992, full:true”][quote=“P_Tigras, post:963, topic:15992”]
I’d much rather wrap my MC’s spouse around his finger. Honey catches more flies than vinegar as the old saying goes…

It would be interesting to play a myrmidon who starts out playing both the perfect child and the perfect spouse, only to find the two roles pulling them in very different directions at some point.
[/quote]

That is one of the angles I’d like to cover in the Noble path, do you show loyalty to your Mother by pushing young Etienne to abandon his studies in favour of his statecraft? Or browbeat Echo into acting in a manner befitting her station so you can push Mother’s policies into law?[/quote]

browbeat the heir? Heaven’s no. My MC is but the heir’s spouse, not the heir herself. Browbeat her too much and she might start resenting me, or worse, stop listening to me entirely. Now if my honored mother would be so considerate as to fund a home for destitute widows and orphans in Strom, I could then bring the princess for a tour, and approval of that trade route she desires would become certain…

[quote=“Moreau, post:964, topic:15992, full:true”][quote=“P_Tigras, post:963, topic:15992”]
Is there any reason why the myrmidion can’t have children the old fashioned away aside from personal choice? I thought the MC was fully functional biologically speaking, including reproductively.
[/quote]

While they possess all of the correct parts for procreating in theory, they are technically speaking a different species. [/quote]

Without the ability to reproduce with each other and/or humans, myrmidon’s aren’t a different species so much as a construct. Being able to reproduce is one of the key characteristics of living beings.

Furthermore, as mentioned recently in a different thread, it’s certainly possible for different species to be interfertile, such as wolves and coyotes.

If they can’t, then it very likely was a design decision that they not be interfertile, one that could be fixed by a forge. I don’t see why a forge couldn’t modify a myrmidon’s eggs/sperm to be interfertile with humans. The myrmidon’s non-genetic enhancements wouldn’t get transferred unless they were due to nanites.

And if for some reason the player doesn’t want to risk “going under the knife”, taking a bit of DNA from both parents to make an infant strikes me as child’s play for the forge.

I believe myrmidons capable of reproducing are much more likely to be perceived as a threat than myrmidons that aren’t able to reproduce. The fact that myrmidons are generally superior and do not age I think would create plenty of tension as it is once the humans around them realize the myrmidon isn’t human. Now imagine their suspicions regarding the myrmidon’s children…

[quote=“Moreau, post:964, topic:15992, full:true”][quote=“P_Tigras, post:963, topic:15992”]
Given that these fabricated persons are not in any way bound to do the will of their creator, and in many ways more dangerous than normal humans, I think I’d rather stick with outfoxing normal humans.
[/quote]

I’m not condoning any course of action that involves mechanized assassination, you infer what you want…[/quote]

:astonished:

[quote=“Moreau, post:964, topic:15992, full:true”][quote=“P_Tigras, post:963, topic:15992”]
How decadent. What happens if a married woman should become pregnant by her “open secret” of a lover? I suspect a lot of male nobles, if aware, would draw the line at accepting another man’s child as one of their heirs. What is her cuckolded husband likely to do? What is she likely to do to avoid scandal? I expect many operas have been written about this sort of thing…
[/quote]

I should imagine there is a very sudden reconciliation as soon as she knows, then a concerted attempt to pass off the child as their spouse’s. If that doesn’t work, there will be scandal and grounds for divorce, which is not commonly employed but is an effective deterrent against accidental pregnancy because if there is one thing nobles don’t stand for it is losing money. [/quote]

Hmmm…it strikes me that quite a few might consider elimination of the evidence as a preferable option to scandal and divorce if the attempt to effect a “sudden reconciliation” fails, and sometimes even when it appears to succeed, not that such heinous actions would ever be brought up or admitted to in polite company.

[quote=“Moreau, post:964, topic:15992, full:true”][quote=“P_Tigras, post:963, topic:15992”]
Interesting. Another way to score points with the princess is to share or at least be supportive of her sense of noblesse oblige…
[/quote]

I can see the wheels turning in your head there… :smiling_imp:[/quote]

The wheels are always turning. To expect otherwise is like expecting liquid water not to be wet. :smiling_imp:

[quote=“Moreau, post:964, topic:15992, full:true”][quote=“P_Tigras, post:963, topic:15992”]
Do either of the royal twins have existing lovers? Or are both single at the time the MC meets them?
[/quote]

Both are single, both have been jealously guarded since birth to ensure that they do not form any ‘untoward’ attachments to anyone but their future potential spouse. Their Father has always been acutely aware that his children are political currency, and he will not allow anything to devalue that currency.[/quote]

When you talk like that you make them sound so vulnerable. Someone needs to…educate them, yep, that’s it, because education adds value… For the good of the nation, we will endeavor to add value to the “currency” instead of devaluing it. :innocent:

[quote=“Moreau, post:964, topic:15992, full:true”][quote=“P_Tigras, post:963, topic:15992”]
She has a weakness! How adorable!
[/quote]

I feel like I want to pre-emptively warn my characters about you…
[/quote]

Feel free. From what you’ve told us about our rebellious princess so far, warning her will only make the MC more intriguing to her eyes… :smiling_imp:

1 Like

[quote=“Moreau, post:970, topic:15992”][quote=“OScott, post:968, topic:15992, full:true”]

you rang?


Ooh, the Lady C’s been getting some illicit D? Or, perhaps, the yonic’s more her adulterous tonic? Maybe she doesn’t care which scratches this particular primal itch…

Anyway. I’m down for processing.
[/quote]

See, this is why you’re on the payroll, right here.
[/quote]

If you’re pussy-footing around the possibility of a potentially taboo “relationship” between the MC and their “adopted” mother as we’ve discussed previously, I’d suggest making it depend on two different factors, the first being how the MC sees Calinas. If the MC doesn’t buy into the mother-child relationship as anything beyond a useful fiction, than you’re not going to get zapped by the NC17 censors, and Calinas, as savvy as she is, will likely sense that, and seek to gain a stronger hold on the MC. OTOH if the MC really does start to see Calinas as their mother, than why should she jeopardize her already strong hold over the MC by adding sex to the equation? She can manipulate the MC easily enough through the parental bond the MC has bought into. This way you can neatly side-step the incest issue.

Of course the second factor should be if the MC is willing, as I’d doubt she’d do anything that might alienate the MC and reduce the likelihood of her plan’s success, only things that would increase it, and thus we address the consent issue. So basically something would only happen if her hold on the MC wasn’t already as strong as she wants, and she believed some bedroom action would more strongly bind the MC to her emotionally.

Now it’s possible that the potentially NC17 minor plot arc has nothing to do with the MC, in which case I can’t really comment without knowing more about the idea… :smirk_cat:

3 Likes

So instead of cryptic visions of the future, when you black out you receive cat puns?

Interesting tactical appraisal…

Quite so, but Myrmidons reproduce themselves via Forges, the problem being the fact that nobody can seem to find any. In theory there must be some left in some dark corner of the world…

Although I will state that there is a machine something like the one you describe in Kadana, a kind of artificial womb that allows for infertile and same-sex couples to conceive, where both parties are genetically sampled and a baby is grown within the machine.

Also, the M.R.S.G.R.E.N. model of determining whether something is alive doesn’t really account for technically immortal beings…

That’s a very dangerous mind you have there, you ought to watch out for that…

You have a delightful talent for making me feel protective of the Prince and Princess.

That little emoji conveys so much quiet malice…

I’m not. I still don’t see any legs in that relationship. My problem is my own interpretation of Lady Calinas. Not to put her into a little box, but so far I’ve been writing her as a sort of Pragmatic Asexual, having no interest in relationships but understanding that her beauty and eligibility is a powerful weapon in her arsenal. Writing a scene that implicitly talks up her sexuality is at odds with that, and I don’t know that I need the contradiction highlighted. The scene in question would also pitch the game’s sexual tone away from ‘light and fluffy’ and into ‘random scene from a Lars Von Trier movie in the middle of a Judd Apatow movie’, and nobody likes the flavour combination there…

2 Likes

I have a question, you talked about the noble side, goal and the rebellion but how are the mages in all this what’s there goal. And more importantly can I use magic ( if so of what variety).

1 Like

Huh…Isn’t magic in this setting basically the knowledge of very advanced, but ancient (because somewhere along the line most of the knowledge got lost) science? And as the MC is build on this science at least a MC with the intelligence perk should be able to access some of the knowledge through the upper brain (well, expect it deems that information worth blocking, I guess.)

Or did I miss something?

1 Like

Maybe you have a point in technomancey, he also had magic Tattoos that glow and am pretty sure there where fireballs involve at one point. But then again i might have imagined that.

Also I would like to say that the line between magic and science is blurred at time, (whether in reality or fiction)
For example, Frankenstein monster is considered a mad science thing instead of magic. However the same idea of artificial human for magic exist called Homunculus,

1 Like