The Monster of Rome (Mini- update 7/2/2017, link in original post)

Just posted a small update in which I moved the stat bonuses to the species-confirmation section. That bug shouldn’t come up anymore.

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Are the monster types set in stone or are you still fleshing those options out?

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I was wondering if you plan on adding giving an option to make the mc a certain type other than what is listed such as if you pick the mammal species you will get options to make it a bull or lion or something along those lines.

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The existing monster types won’t go, but I think I will add further customization options for their appearance.

Either I’ll add some code so that the player can customize their appearance right off the bat, or I’ll provide a body-transformation option somewhere in the Occult path. Or both.

So in other words, the basic outlines of the monster types are set in stone (with the possible exception of the TBA insect type), but the player will get a chance to flesh them out further.

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This is a good idea -

With regards to the Gorgon-fish hybrid - perhaps something akin to a Siren monster or a mermaid would be customizable. So far all your monster prototypes as written feel very “masculine” to me. It makes it harder for me to relate to the MC. Certainly not a fatal flaw but one that works against the story the whole way (for those readers like me).

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Oh, yikes. I didn’t mean to give that impression at all. Thanks for pointing that out.

Could you give me an example of how exactly the monsters come across as masculine? In retrospect, I suppose the mammal has at least one specifically male body-part (boar’s tusks), but the others seemed fairly unisex to me. I don’t mean to challenge your criticism–I’d just like to pinpoint the problem.

Also, when you mention Sirens, do you mean that you’d want an option for a more human-looking, less hideous monster?

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Sure - the first monster seemed very much like a Minotaur and everything added on, such as the horns added bulk. I ended up feeling like a huge bulky bull-guy full of strength and raw power - it might be my past knowledge imposing images on top of what was written or just that huge sense of bulk.

I used to know a few football players and they were big men (especially since I was young at the time). They were not just tall and weighing a lot but they had thick muscles and bone structures all that added to them being huge in their presence when they were in a room. That is the feelings that the Minotaur evoked in me.

The sea-creature monster reminded me of Gorgon and her sister - even though it was water based on the surface but the added fish parts seemed to detract from the speed-grace aspects. Again, I just got the feeling of bulk added on.

The middle monster I’ll need to refresh my memory on because I think I stayed with the sea monster due to time constraints.

Hope this helps.

Edit:

I mentioned Sirens because monsters are monsters due to different reasons, not just outward form. The Siren’s horror was their voice and what purpose they used that voice for (speaking of the Greek legends) - I guess the Colosseum and their games might limit the range of possible monsters but with all shows (even back then) some stage magic or behind the scenes things could be done to accommodate monsters of all types…

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Hmm. I meant to make it so that the first and third monsters could equally well be played as a bulky, powerful man or a bulky, powerful woman.

Still, you do bring up a good point. I’m guessing y’all would want a bit more variability in the agility of a monster type—i.e. the option to play, say, a quick, lightweight beast-person.

…Holy mackerel, I didn’t even think of that. I mean, the monster has to be physically unpleasant (or at least unsettling) in order to get that sense of isolation from the rest of the Roman population, and the existing builds focus on large beast-things, but you make a very good point. A more-humanoid monster with a subtle wrongness about it, and with powers that didn’t rely on physicality, would make for an interesting option.

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Ya - I am not trying to change your story and the beta is at its very beginning. I can’t say “no - this won’t work as is” because there isn’t enough of a story to tell yet… I’m just pointing out vibes and impressions from the choices presented so far.

As I said way up at the top, your knowledge is deep and your prose is great - so don’t think I’m all negative on your project.

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Sorry about the lateness on the updates–rather sick at the moment. Hope to get the update in within a day or two.

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Main thing is you get healthy - we’ll be here.

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Update posted! This should be the last update to the character creator for now. In the future updates, I’m going to actually get some story done. :slight_smile:

P.S. You may get to father an emperor, if that sort of thing floats your boat.

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I think you should mention the date of latest update in the post so that people would know it’s updated

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Oh my gosh! I LOVE the monster descriptions! I’ve been waiting to play a game like this for ages, this is so cool!

That was a lot of exclamation points, but I feel they were merited.

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Oooh, nice! This was is even better than the original :heart:.:heart: I love this, but it’s so short. :stuck_out_tongue: sits to patiently wait for game

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@DUNGEON_MASTER , good call. Done that.

@Giratina, thanks for the flattery. I needed that. :slight_smile:

@DancingInTheRain279:don’t worry, I won’t disappoint you. An update with an actual plot should be coming up in a week or two, at the most.

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A small update will be coming tomorrow; having trouble debugging.

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Mini-update posted! Come one, come all, and look at my one new page of exposition! (More to come, don’t worry. :P)

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Harpy stance: only 1 somewhat needed.

I really like the Gravedigger stance description!


1st page of Chapter 2 (and last page of the WIP). It’d be easier to read if the dialogue were broken up.

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I am going to enjoy tearing the emperor and my maker to shreds. Then I might eat them both, though with my luck, they will probably give me indigestion.

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