The Magician's Burden [231k words]



It seems like an ambitious and CRAZY fun ride. If you are up to the task, I am sure your fans would love to see you make this outline a reality (myself included ) :smile: The titles are very good, each one is unique but with a recognizable similarity that obviously links them. I can tell you put quite a lot of thought into it and I can’t wait for more of your content!


The outline all looks good to me! But I’m not entirely sold on the titles–the last one is self explanatory, but I’m not 100% sure what “burden” and “enigma” are referring to. I really like the pattern in the titles, but if you could find words that are a little more relevant it’d read a little better


Btw everyone, sorry for all the typos on that big post: I’m on mobile right now.

Thanks, I’m glad you think so :grin: my goal is to submit one per year.


Burden refers to Killian’s oppressive nature over you in the first 3 chapters, as well as the parasitic Zaleth living inside your mind.

Enigma has to do with Zaleth as well. If you use his powers on multiple occasions, people begin to become suspicious about what might be going on. Also, it’s referring to how he has been a secret for your entire life, but more and more characters begin to discover him. (Kihbok and Melithar for example.)

I hope that clears things up!


Yup, that makes total sense!


Minor Update:

I went back and proofread all of Chapter One. There are still likely some typos in there somewhere, though, and there are undoubtedly a million in all the other chapters. So, if you see any and have the time to point them out, that would be much appreciated! :slight_smile:

I also just went and fixed some random bugs that I had missed in the first four chapters. If you find any yourself, feel free to let me know! They’re pesky and elusive, and the contest deadline is quickly looming so I’m going to try to concentrate on finishing up the last three chapters.


So, for the past month our so I’ve been working about 60 hours a week when I combine the hours from my job at the theater and my job as a pet sitter. Unfortunately, this leaves me with very little energy left to write, so I have been lagging significantly on my goal to write 1k per day. It’s probably more like 750 words per day or less, which might not seem like a big difference, but it adds up over the weeks.

However, I’ve tried to make up for it a bit by proofreading (I proofread chapter 1 and I’ve started on 2) as well as doing lots of hardcore brainstorming. In that regard, I’m making tons of progress and it will help me to write quicker and better material down the line.

One of the things I’ve been brainstorming about are powers for the various characters throughout the series. I’ll list some here to see what you all think:

In The Magician’s Enigma, you will be trained by Melithar the Eccentric wizard. He will not only double your magical prowess, but you’ll have the option of switching to a different discipline. Here are the new spells you’ll have available in the sequel:


  • Increased healing powers. You’ll now be able to heal more grievous wounds and completely mend minor injuries.

  • Divination: you’ll have the ability to see or hear things that you would not otherwise physically be able to see or hear. You’ll also be able to dovine where people or objects are without having any clues.

Water creation: whether it’s to hydrate yourself or a companion, or to put out a fire, you’ll be able to create water out of thin air.


Sleeping Spell: with just a touch, you can magically make someone fall asleep. They will literally wake up like they would under regular circumstances, but this could be a powerful tool during battle or a useful one for restlessness, etc.

  • Increased Invisibility - you will be able to become invisible for longer, or turn others invisible as well for a short time.

Teleportation - You will be able to teleport once up to 100 feet away.


increased fire manipulation - you can light objects on fire from a distance and create stronger firebolts.

Super strength - for up to 30 seconds, you can possess super human strength and toughness.

Weapon control: you can possess your enemies’ weapons for a short time and make them turn on their owners.

In The Magician’s Enemy, you’ll be meeting General Kidas, who is a magician and an RO. He has the ability to create two hands out of magical energy, and make them teleport or fly. This can be used for a huge amount of things: battle, practical uses, or even sexual uses. However, whatever damage is dealt to the energy hands willl happen to Kidas’ real hands.

So, what do you all think of these powers?


Sasuke approves.


Haha, no one can be quite a bad ass as Sasuke, but I agree. :grin:


Water creation seems a bit out of theme for light magic.


I think it works well for it. It’s a kind of benevolent, gentle spell that brings forth a life-giving substance.


Y’know, I actually like Killian. I hope we get a chance to… idk, change him or befriend him or something. smooching him would work too, even if it is just to embarrass him. Especially if it’s infront of a crowd or just his lackeys :grin: Who said that ">.>


You will get a chance to try to start repairing things with him, starting in Chapter 5! Killian will also be one of the biggest major characters, and one who appears in the entire trilogy, so there will be plenty of other chances as well. But I don’t know about smooching him, haha.



(20 suggestive characters)


A quick rough draft sketch of the cover art for TMB by my illustrator, Werner Mueck. And the finished product is gonna blow my mind as always!


I am jealous of their skills :disappointed:


@Samuel_H_Young Lucid just recently had a problem with the contest I’ve noticed…his latest work was not on par with his previous and it even seemed rush just so it can meet the contest deadline. I hope TMT doesn’t succumb to this. That’s all I’m saying.


Yeah, that can be one of the pitfalls of deadlines. I was actually telling my dad that I didn’t think it would be possible for me to finish The Magician’s Burden in time for the contest because I keep adding stuff and because I’ve been working so much.

He suggested that I just make it a shorter story but I told him that I’m going to make it how I envisioned it and that I won’t let the quality suffer just to submit it by Jan 31st. So if I miss the contest, I’ll just have to deal with it, because I’m definitely not going to rush. :slight_smile:


I have faith in you. Whichever happens, I’m pretty sure the game itself will be well worth the wait.


Thanks, @eiwynn :slight_smile:

Everyone, I’ve been making a bit more progress lately. I’m confident that I’ll be posting Chapter 5 before January.


Something to look forward to