The Magician's Burden [230k words] [Published]



Just bought a car with my royalties from The Magician’s Burden. :+1:


Damn… congrats


Congrats! That’s a nice ride.


Very cool! What is it?


A 2004 Mazda 6.


Good sturdy vehicle. I roll a ‘04 myself, but it’s a Santa Fe.


Holy crap…I am a HUGE Magician’s Burden fan…and a fan of yours for life! I have/am battling anxiety and depression, if you need someone unbiased to talk to -!


Hey Jender, thanks so much! Right back at you. :hugs:


So, I’ve noticed several (positive) reviews on Steam and Android where readers were hoping for or asking if there was a sequel coming. Considering the cliff hanger and the “To be continued in The Magician’s Enigma” I thought I made it clear that this was the beginning of a series.

Was it apparent to you all, or should I just chock this up as readers skimming over the end?


Yes it was! I think all books with sequels appear in more or less the same way, so I don’t think clarity is an issue :slight_smile: I guess some skim over the end perhaps, or love the book so much that they want to know if the sequel is being in production now!


If it makes you feel any better, I thought we made it ABUNDANTLY clear in the promo copy, the pay page, the “fan” sites, pretty much everywhere we could, etc. that ours is a series, and tons of people still didn’t read that and were either like, “You should’ve told us it was series” or asking if there will be a sequel.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him read the signs, I guess. :sweat_smile:


So I have another concussion and I’m bored as shit and can’t write, so I sorted TMB’s characters into Hogwarts Houses. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:


  • Mabelin
  • Theyo
  • Mowbow


  • Violet
  • Percy
  • Killian
  • Zaleth
  • Kihbok
  • Verim
  • Petre


  • Rigel


  • Keano
  • Hadia


… all cats are Slytherin.


Not cats who die to protect their Percy’s :sob:


[insert fanboy rant about how Slytherin doesn’t automatically mean evil]

I mean… sneak attacks, narcissism, selfishness… but emo gooey middle.


Hey, I’m a Slytherin and I’m not ev-- … :thinking: :man_shrugging:


How many concussions have you had, exactly? And how are you getting them? I feel like most people who hit the rank in chess that you did probably aren’t starting too many bar fights or anything.


Two, both just from unlucky accidents. The one back in December was from a vertical freight elivator door at work coming down on my head. This one was from my car’s trunk door coming down on my head. In eleven months, my fear of vertical doors has gone from nonexistant to about #4 on my list of fears. :grimacing:



So I bought the Magicians Burden a while ago and after coming here to check on the progress of Magicians Enigma I ended up taking a hour to read every single comment in this thread and decided that i really needed to leave a detailed review. So thanks in advance fore reading this all the way through.

First of all I wanted to address the negative things poderes about the game. The stat checks were hard, but I really liked how hard the stat checks were. For me making difficult stat checks gives the game added replay ability and gives the reader an extra challenge and makes it more of a game. But años doesn’t necessarily take away from the story. It also helps reinforce the transformation we are seeing in the character. How Wes fe basically turning him from a weakling into a major Badass. My favorite one was the stat check for Stealth at the festival where I worked my butt off to get a Stealth 20 and Violet just goes “You’re no great thief but I guess you can hold your own pickpocketing a bunch of drunk idiots” In that scene it was very leading to for her to acknowledge how far the MC has come and still how far they have to go even if it was a little condescending.

Undeveloped characters: I could tell you spent a lot of time on each of these characters and developing them. I really enjoyed how unique and layered each of them were. I will say that I didn’t get a chance to get to know Keano or Rigel that well. And then I was offered the. Voice of buying gifts for them lol. Although it makes sense when you compare it to real life and how you won’t know everyone that’s the same age as you I do feel like since their destinies are tied to the MC through later games I would’ve liked to know them a bit better. Kinda like how Killian was introduced in the game. The story wasn’t all about Killian but at the same time he saw him enough to be considered a part of the MC’s life. And you had the choice of getting to know the character deeper or just know him on the surface level as a bully and nothing more. I really liked how each of your friends embraced you at the festival when you got to show off your powers. More scenes like that would be a great addition to the game. Also scenes where the NPC’s interact with one another are baller as well like when I took Rigel with me to go see Violet. It was nice seeing how they interacted and I got to spend time with both of them at the same time.

Not Being a Power Fanatsy: I can’t believe people are complaint about this not being a power fantasy. This type of game was so refreshing especially due to how well written it was. I felt I could relate to my MC a lot better as well. If I could offer one recommendation I would add in achievements to mark an MC’s progress in a stat. Like when you hit Melee of 20 you could unlock the achievement “Journeyman Fighter” or something like that. That plays into the higher stat Check play style you got going. Also I would love more choices to define and affect our appearances. Decide what our magician wears and things like that are awesome.

Couple of Questions:

Alice the fairy is she going to be regular sized or are we talking a tinkerbell here?

Is Killian going to be coming with the group and training with the rest of you?

And if so can the bullied become bully? Please please please

How important is money gonna be in the sequels will we still use it or will Melithar bank roll everything?

All in all I loved the game I can’t wait to see more and more of it.


Thanks so much, @JVM! That really means a lot.

That’s definitely what I was going for with the stat checks and slow build up of the MC’s strength throughout the story. I want it to feel gradual and hard-earned so that the successes along the way will feel more grounded and realistic, and the successes the end will feel even more satisfying.

Yeah, the way I set up the character interaction with the ROs was fun and interesting for me to write, and a lot of my readers enjoyed it, as it gives the story more replay ability. It also lets you spend more time with the characters you enjoy more. The downside, as you noted, is that some characters (like Keano, Rigel, and to a lesser extent Violet and Mabelin) might not be present very much.

I’ve decided to kind of move away from that design in my later games: aside from things like date and sex scenes, I’ll mostly be showing most of each character’s development instead of “hiding” a lot of it behind various scenes.

I’m glad you liked the NPC interactions! There will be a lot more of that in Enigma.

I’m glad you appreciated the under-dog theme I was going for. I’m writing my first power fantasy, Mass Mother Murderer, and it’s really cathartic in a lot of ways and I can definitely understand why people enjoy reading it. However, I also think under-dog stories have their worth, too.

More people can personally relate to under-dog stories than power fantasies, and I think there’s also something to be said for character growth and delayed gratification.

That’s a good suggestion for some achievements. I can add something like that in my next update for TMB.

Alice will be about a foot tall as a fairy, but she has the irreversible ability to grow to a human’s size. She’ll be doing this later on in the series.

I’m not ruling it out entirely, but I don’t think I’ll have Killian train with the MC. I’ve got something else planned for him.

There’s gonna be a big scene in Enigma where, once the MC has become exponentially more powerful, they can decide whether or not to use their new powers and abilities to get revenge on Killian.

Melithar will be bankrolling everything, at least for a good portion of Enigma, so I think the money stat won’t be as important in that installment.

Thanks again!