The Magician's Burden [230k words] [Published]



Thanks so much! I’m glad you enjoyed it.

In V2, the MC and the ROs are gonna train with Melithar the wizard. Mabelin will become even more skilled with weapons and general combat, but the MC’s magical power will double and so will their skills, depending on what choices they make.

So I’d say Mabelin would still be better at swordfighting, but the MC would be a lot closer to her in terms of physical skill, and combined with their magic, they would actually be even stronger than her.

In the duel, you can hurt her a little if you pass a check, and not at all if you don’t pass the checks. :stuck_out_tongue:


Well, after getting a slew of bad reviews for the supposed lack of character development in TMB, I’ve decided that’s the last time I’ll be making seperate RO paths. When you can see a lot of a certain characters in one playthrough and not much of them in another, you run the risk of a lot of people assuming they’re just not present in the story.

In the future, I’ll have interactions with the characters be more linear so they each get roughly the same screentime in each playthrough.

I intended it to be seen as asset to choose who you interact with most, but it seems like too many people view it as a negative.


Does that mean I’ll be forced to interact with characters I don’t care about?


Just like in every interactive novel, yeah. :man_shrugging: To my knowledge, TMB is the only one split into fourths based off of ROs.


That’s a shame I loved that about it. If I didn’t want to deal with Violet, shy guy, or tree man unless from work I didn’t have to.


I purposely avoided everyone but Violet and my family. Now that Percy is traumatized I’m going to have to turn him I a dark servant of Violet like me. Well… Not exactly like me and Violet…


I wonder if you could put in some Author’s Notes in the stats menu that explains that? You really really really shouldn’t have to do that, but I figure it would be a quick and easy fix so that people will know about it and have no excuse to be unaware.


People can be pretty dumb. That said I think we should only be forced to interact with all the characters if Sam really wants us to see the other scenes. Because if I’m not railroaded it’s going to be all Violet all the time ;p


It will just be like in The Enchanter’s Misery or Mass Mother Murderer where you generally interact with everyone a set amount aside from date and sex scenes.

Don’t get me wrong, it was fun creating dozens of different mini-scenes, but when that garners a sizeable loss in rating points, I have to decide whether all that extra work is worth it.


Ya gotta do what is best for you ohana. If a more linear path is best so be it. It’s going to be amazing no matter what you do :slight_smile:


Having this type of comment on Google Play doesn’t mean that most readers have this opinion.
I mean, the app’s rating is 4.2, right? It is quite high … and the people who tend to draw attention in the comments are the minority with extreme opinions.
why doesn’t you make a pool about it? anyway, it’s your decision and, as GenecoInheritor said, it’s obvius that anyway the result will be good =)


Maybe not the majority of readers, but even just a handful of 1 and 2 star reviews can tank your rating. I’ve had several comments like that on the forum, too, and considering many of them said that the family (who you see the same amount each playthrough) were good characters and the ROs (who you see a variable amount) were poor characters, it’s clear to me that the replay value is the culprit.

A 4.2 is good, but when a lot of extra work ends up hurting the overall rating rather than boosting it, I just don’t feel like going that route again.


Ok so let’s approach this at a different angle. By being more linear you get to coax people into meeting the characters and getting to know them. You’ve already said that in book 2 the character’s real selves will be more exposed. So you’re going to be putting your heart into each of them. It’d actually be better for us to have to meet them later so we can reevaluate why we ignored them in book one and go back and replay book one with a new Outlook :slight_smile:


I’m an avid CYOA reader. I’ve bought nearly every hosted games and choice of games book over the last two years. I just finished the magicians burden. It was one of the best cyoa books i have ever read. While looking for the magicians enigma I came across this forum and read through it. To make the story more linear will be a huge step backwards in my opinion. You shouldn’t change your story to appease ignorant readers. You should write the story u want to write. And that’s the story we all will love. I enjoy playing though stories multiple times, and if the story were more linear I wouldn’t enjoy replaying it as much. I rated u 5 stars on the App Store and anyone who didn’t do the same is just a blowhard. Thank you for the wonderful story.

                                        Sincerely impressed,


Thanks, @Ayerox! That really means a lot.

As much as I liked having so much replay ability in TMB, where the MC can choose who they interact with so much, perhaps this game design also has its flaws. When a significant amount of readers come away from the story thinking that many characters are underdeveloped despite them having gigantic roles in the story, I have to think about whether balancing out interactions between characters might be a better way of doing things.

Here’s the best example I can come up with…

What if Harry Potter was made into interactive fiction, and your choices widely impacted how much you saw certain major characters? This could mean that on a reader’s first playthrough, they might come to believe that Ron is an awesome character but Hermione is just a minor one. This would kind of be a disservice to such an amazing character like Hermione.

Obviously my characters and writing could never be as good as HP, but the analogy still stands. I don’t like the idea of a significant amount of readers assuming that certain characters are bland and underveloped because they only interacted with them in 1/10 of their scenes on their only playthrough.

Now, if readers acknowledged that they didn’t see those characters because of the choices they made, it would be a whole different story. But, that’s not going to be the case a lot of the time. For example, one negative review said all the ROs but Violet were poor and cliche characters. Maybe they just didn’t like those characters, which is fine, but I would also say it’s likely they interacted with Violet a lot and the other characters a lot less, which shaped their view of them as “developed” and “underveloped.”

I wrote TMB in so many different mini-scenes revolving around the 4 ROs because I thought it would be fun and unique. I hadn’t realized all of the negative feedback it could incur.

In fact, I saw that CoG recommended against this approach in their guideline. I can appreciate why that is now.


I understand that decision is practical so I say go for It. It certainly suck for me as I don’t like being forced into have supposed Bond with people who my character really hates and they hates back.

So could I make a suggestion. Why If Pc directly says no I hate that character I don’t want hear him her even if he is dying … That way I could skip that person content that playthrough. And people who want see all in one would be happy too

Edit If Harry Potter were a really if … I would be In slytherin and kissing Draco to care at all in Stupid Gryffindor scum :wink:


You don’t have to make bonds with people; you can have poor relationships with them, too.

Enigma will have a much more intensive plot than TMB, and so will all of my future games, so skipping scenes with characters would mean creating plotholes and making things seem poorly structured.


Yeah But I don’t want hear Kean drunken chat with mara so skip it could be a wonderful time for me… If not no problem I totally skip his content lol Not reading it. I do that a lot in games. If something is not credible for my character I simply skip what is not.


But please, Don’t take it like I hate Keane I don’t. But My main character does. You have to take account if there is hated and affect text you will do great. Always you don’t kill me another pet I swear you can’t break my heart again I will revenge Mow


Haha, I gotcha.

Revenge for all sorts of things will be possible. :smiling_imp: