The Magician's Burden [230k words] [Published]

high-fantasy
young-adult-fiction
gender-choice
nonbinary-inclusive

#1050

See my point exactly.


#1051

TMB has been updated on Android and the web! The update includes:

  • Extended demo
  • typo fixes
  • Bugfixes

The update should come out on the other platforms soon.


#1055

Remember, in addition to flagging posts, you can also bring them right to me if you think a problem needs specific consideration.


#1056

The reviews for TMB are so incredibly polarized that it’s comical. :grimacing:


#1057

Hi Sam, just bought TMB and look forward to reading it. On a quick skim of the first few pages, it’s crystal clear that you’ve developed as a writer since ToDH. After I’ve read TMB, I’ll let you know what I enjoyed most.

I wanted to share some of my own experiences with reviews and growing as a writer, but I didn’t want to spam your thread with talk about XoR…so I’ll pop it up over on mine. :slight_smile:


Choice of Rebels: Uprising — Lead the revolt against a bloodthirsty empire!
#1058

Okay, I am a person that doesn’t shy to criticism. But most of your game critics come from people buying the game thinking it was a genre is not. Maybe Thinking somewhat a way to tell them this is not a thriller fast paced over power game . The people that criticism the color of characters and gender that you can’t do anything to fix them they come broken by default. Seriously…

Maybe you could add some action scenes in the new game to help the immersion of people who want a fast paced situation. I don’t know you always have to take inspiration from criticism


#1059

All of my future stories are much more action packed while still balancing character development and romance, like Mass Mother Murderer and The Enchanter’s Misery. Or, at least, that’s the plan.

I mean, when the description of TMB is telling the reader directly to their face that it’s a slice of life game, but then people come in expecting a power fantasy about taking over the world…I just don’t know what to do.

For reference, here’s the description:

You are a magician living a fairly normal life in a small village outside of the Kingdom of Githrad. Deal with bullies, navigate your father’s temper and alcoholism, and work at your various jobs. As well as being a clerk at your parents’ general store, you can also choose between being a guard, a scribe, a farmer, or a thief.

You get to have fun, too, like playing in chess tournaments, sparring, reading at the library, exploring necromancer’s caves, exploring the woods, and finding romance with the other villagers.


#1060

Don’t take them seriously. They want something it’s not (and something it’s not advertised as). You can decide in future if you want to write something different for that audience – but TMB isn’t for them, just like my game isn’t for the reviewers who are like “ugh, a glossary.”


#1061

Thanks for all your wisdom on this thread and on Rebel’s thread. :slight_smile:

@poison_mara
The climax of TMB has some of the most brutal action in CoG’s library, in my opinion, and the whole chapter moves at a breakneck speed. But, many of the readers who were disappointed with the pace of the plot consider Chapter 8 to be the only “real” part of the story. :man_shrugging:


#1062

Well, I prefer far the rest to that chapter but just me. Probably your literary style is off from some people. You are more writing that a game. So probably that helps them feeling game different. I don’t know each person is a universe. Then many people assume being a mage means being op so a mage poor and having to work is weird.


#1063

Hey everyone, the update is out on Steam, now.


#1064

Some people just want to be hateful or mean just for the sake of it without actually taking the time to plot out their review or even try the game and go through at least a full play through or two, not really experiencing the game the way it was meant to be. Honestly some of these reviews make no sense. If you’re gonna give a bad review, be critical and constructive of what you thought could use some work and not just outright hateful without a good reason.

All I know is I got my money’s worth and then some because the writing is great and you can tell there is improvement from your previous works and that’s great. Plus maebelin is just awesome. There is a sequel coming, yes?


#1065

Thanks, that means a lot.

Yes, there will be 3 sequels.


#1066

A quadrology? Whoa! That’s definitely on the list.


#1067

Seems relevant somehow. :thinking:


#1068

I thoroughly enjoyed TMB and thought it was well worth the 5 dollars. Seriously can’t wait for the sequel and more content from the series as well as from TEM and MMM!

Your way of storytelling and just your works in general are so immersive and wondrous. :grin:

Please keep up the amazing work and good luck!!


#1069

Thanks so much. :smiley: I’m making rapid progress on MMM and the others are waiting in line.


#1070

And I’m alive! Just wanted to drop by and show my love for this game by sketchin’up the whole
lake picnic scene with my MC and Keano…buuuut, I got lazy, so here’s not even a quarter of it.


#1071

Oof. That’s beautiful. New profile pic for me! :heart_eyes:


#1072

I had fun with this one. The characters were generally well written, and the small victories we had were fun to read. I also liked the little moments at your job and with the characters. I spent most of my time with Keano and Mabelin. Keano was a total dudebro, and easily became my best friend. Wasn’t a huge fan of Mabelin at first because she seemed so epic and untouchable, easily beating me in everything, but eventually I came around and she became my LI. I was unsurprised to see her arrogance and sarcasm not even disappear during the intimate scene (which was excellent, by the way) but I would’ve liked to see a more tender side of her, though that may be an unrealistic expectation. The MC seemed a tad weak, but it didn’t bother me once I got my ego out of the way. It also made sense in the context of the story since you’re just an average Joe.
I do have one question though; Is it possible to beat Mabelin in the duel in this game? If not, will we ever get to her level later in the series? I like to make warrior characters, but I’m afraid I’ll always play second fiddle to her.
At any rate, this was a great story and I’m looking forward to continuing the journey through it!