The Mage's Adventures (8/9 Chapters, 90k words)

[Samuel_H_Young]

This is a thread to discuss my game, The Mage’s Adventures.

Summary:

As the mage of an adventuring party, you’re tasked with tracking down and capturing a violent demon under any circumstances. This already daunting task is made even more difficult when you’ve got competition from a hostile, rival party of adventurers. What’s more, you soon discover that your target wants to take you as her human vessel. Can you survive a demon who has her eye on you, and a party that will do anything it takes to win?

The Mage’s Adventures is a thrilling interactive fantasy novel by Samuel Young, where your choices control the story. The tale is a companion novel to The Magician’s Burden, set in an alternate time-line. It’s text-based, with vivid illustrations, and fueled by the vast, unstoppable power of your imagination.

Oh, and there’s a secret member of your party as well: the demon living in your head.

• Play as male, female, or non-binary; romance whoever you want.
• Romance the cold, aloof Violet; the competitive, outgoing Mabelin; the shy, sweet Rigel; or the fun-loving, charismatic Keano.
• Wield fantastical spells: turn invisible, throw fireballs, heal wounds, and more.
• Make a deal with your demon and use his powerful magic at a steep price, or resist the temptation altogether.
• Build bridges with your rival, or exact your revenge upon him instead.

My other works:

The Nascent Necromancer: The Nascent Necromancer

The Magician’s Burden: The Magician's Burden

My chess Youtube channel: Chess Noob to Chess Master #1: Piece Activity - YouTube

My Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100082731672753

Announcement:

I’d like to announce that I’ll be making a major update to my 2021 release, The Mage’s Adventures. Like the with the update I made to The Magician’s Burden recently, its purpose is to tie the story up into a standalone.

Demo wordcount:

Chapter One: 5k
Chapter Two: 8k
Chapter Three: 8k
Chapter Four: 11k
Chapter Five: 9k
Chapter Six: 12k
Chapter Seven: 11k
Chapter Eight: 12k
Chapter Nine: 10k so far

Total wordcount: 90k

Demo: https://moody.ink/play/yungsam64/the-mages-adventures/mygame/

What sort of feedback am I looking for?

• Any constructive criticism or opinions about the characters, plot, pacing, narrative, gameplay, stat balancing, etc, is very helpful.
• Pointing out typos and bugs is invaluable. Context helps a lot in identifying these errors, so be specific if you can.

[Shadyaddams]

I love the game, but it feels like there’s only half a story. It ends with us being sent to hell. The game hints about being able to possibly learn more spells and growing stronger but can’t after we meet the wizard. Feels like there’s supposed to be more after that. Other than that I love it!

[Samuel_H_Young]

@Shadyaddams I’m glad you enjoyed it. It’s designed to be the first part of a series, and creating satisfying endings to stories that aren’t standalones is always tricky. There was a cliffhanger at the end of course, but I felt satisfied that the Linga plotline had been completed.

[Shadyaddams]

Perfect, I didn’t know of there was gonna be more to the series or if it was a stand alone. Then it makes sense where it ended.

[Dragomer]

Honestly I think it’s my favorite game of yours, even more so than the Magician’s Burden, I especially loved the twist with the demon and I can’t wait to continue the MC’s adventures in hell, alongside maybe seeing the consequence of the real personality of the body we hijacked finally coming out after all those years.

I can’t imagine the mess it’s gonna be with our friends and ‘family’, let alone the ROs, I’m totally trying to comeback either way tho.

[Samuel_H_Young]

Yeah, at the end of TMA, it says,

To be continued in book two of the Mage’s trilogy, The Mage’s Secret.

…and in the companion book, Zaleth.

[Shadyaddams]

For some reason it never occurred to me that’d we’d continue playing as the demon. For some reason I thought we’d switch perspectives and play as the sorcerer now freed from their own mind.

[Dragomer]

@Shadyaddams

For some reason I thought we’d switch perspectives and play as the sorcerer now freed from their own mind.

That would be a bit redundant with the Magician’s burden tho. And kind of a waste cause it would be a lot more fun to interact with said free sorcerer rather than play as them.

[Samuel_H_Young]

@Dragomer @Shadyaddams
The plan is for you to play as the demon in Zaleth, and the human in The Mage’s Secret. So the series splits in different directions with the different MCs

[Dragomer]

Oh, I thought the Mage’s Secret was supposed to be the Magician’s Burden’s sequel.

[Shadyaddams]

Will the demon and the mage have the same type of magic? Like if I chose light magic as a demon, but I also still have light magic and be able
heal? Or was that the mages power we were using? I think it’d be pretty interesting to be a demon with light magic lol. Why do they have the same related types of magic or as being a demon Burke and I have a completely different sort of magic? I’m excited too play it either way!

[Samuel_H_Young]

The mage will have their same powers but the demon will have their own, much stronger abilities. You can get an idea of what those are if you used Zaleth’s powers in TMA

[Samuel_H_Young]

I’d like to announce that I’ll be making a major update to my 2021 release, The Mage’s Adventures. Like the update I made to The Magician’s Burden recently, its purpose is to tie the story up, as I will not be writing sequels. This update includes:

• a few new choices with the supporting characters
• updated magic system. You now get to customize by choosing three spells out of nine, instead choosing one out of three kinds of magic
• typo fixes

The next update will include:

• Chapter Nine: Kneecapped, where Violet comes to your home in the middle of the night, saying she has a plan to get your money back from Killian…

This new chapter will replace the last three chapters of the original version of The Mage’s Adventures. Although I liked the twist at the end, and I know a lot of my readers did too, I also recognize that many people vehemently did not like the ending, and this is largely what contributed to TMA’s lackluster performance.

Chapter Nine will bring TMA to a proper close as a standalone, instead of leaving it open for the originally planned series. I believe these endings will be better and more satisfying, and I will feel really good about completing this story instead of leaving it in limbo for too long.

Anyways, thanks a lot to anyone who would like to beta test this, and I’m eager to hear your thoughts. The demo link is in the original post.

[Samuel_H_Young]

Update:

I’ve put the first 10k words of Chapter Nine on the demo. It’s short so far, but I think it packs a punch. I believe that fans of The Magician’s Burden, fans of the old version of TMA, and people who didn’t like the old ending of TMA, will all like where this rewrite is going. In the final chapter, Violet comes to your home in the middle of the night, telling you that she has a way to get your coins back from Killian.

[Fenrir1]

Is this where it’s supposed to end

Also i don’t know if it’s only me but when Zeleth unlocks our powers the first two choices gives error and when we join Violet to steal Kiellan all the choices that require stats give error

[Samuel_H_Young]

Okay, I think those errors should be gone now. My files passed quicktest, anyway. If restarting your device and clearing your cache don’t fix the issue, I’ll have to do some more digging.

[Fenrir1]

The choice to break the boulder when Zeleth gives our powers back gives me this

When i choose to have 0 sympathy for Pete

This one is where i choose the choice “Think i can make him flinch?”

[Samuel_H_Young]

Those are errors that should have been fixed by the update. Sometimes deleting your cache and restarting your device will refresh it properly. I’m not sure why else the bugs would be there when it passed quicktest.

I played through the demo without any errors.