The Lost Bride

[RedRoses]

I don’t mean to come across as nitpicking or rude, but I wanted to share the similarities that I think could cause some confusion and could even lead to false accusations of plagiarism. I’m not trying to do any sort of “gotcha” thing here, just pointing out where it can cause some concern.

@Printesa_Carmilla

Well there is a storm raging outside and the driver is going at full speed which I think it is not in the old demo. This was me trying to get the vibe of J in the movie when he was vising the castle.

Also in most books and movies Mina goes to visit her which is not smth new.

You’re right that it is not something new, but starting the story in the middle of the ride to her can be. And doing so does immediately invite comparison to the other work, which unfortunately will be happening no matter what here. If the only difference between your opening is that one has a storm and one doesn’t, they are still similar.

@Printesa_Carmilla

Well this is a great point to establish the rel early which cannot be done later cuz you already meet them soon after.

It’s easy to say it’s a good way to establish story, but that doesn’t change that the opening is still basically the same here. I think if someone read both stories they could immediately notice the similarities there.

@Printesa_Carmilla

Sorry I don’t understand why that matters? No one owns the Ip and the reason I thought they would make good gs ros cuz it can work.

I bring it up because it’s one of the other ways that the stories are close. They definitely do make good romances, but the decision to make both characters gender swappable and also open your demo with the same focus on selecting Dracula’s gender immediately is the same thing that Fidere chose to do, and I worry that that will invite more people acknowledging the similarities of the opening. I’m not trying to say that this is a bad decision or not, just pointing it out alongside the other concerns.

@Printesa_Carmilla

It is well known how Lucy loves Mina. She did come out in the rain and didnt even care. All she wanted was to meet Mina. Not making her hug Mina would have been a strange choice

Also that was a great place to put D there cuz if it wasnt the scene would have been boring

I’m sorry, but I’m feeling as though you are misunderstanding me here. I am not arguing over whether or not these are good narrative choices–I am pointing out that you made the same narrative choices using the same characters and the same opening as another person’s demo. I don’t think it’s possible to pretend that the scenes are recognizably different from one another.

@Printesa_Carmilla

Fair for that one. This might be more on the memory and I don’t remember how it was done in the other demo.

I don’t want to know if you have or haven’t read the demo in the past, but I definitely do think it’s a good idea not to read it now! I myself try to avoid WIPs that I feel are too similar to ideas I hope to pursue, so I understand where you are coming from there. But if you have read the demo before, then it is possible that it’s subconsciously influencing your writing and I just think you should consider that possibility. That is all.

Your planned future chapters sound very interesting and I do look forward to seeing them. I like your writing style and I think you have a knack for good prose.