was just about to make a post about that been trying to go over the game for a few hours while i was doing stuff on Stellaris. So far the game sounds pretty good since i last checked in (ages ago) the varing choices for ancestral magic were well thought out
the story is very interesting with a well build world. iâm sad that the story ended in a cliff hanger .
the only negative comment i have about this game is that you sometimes place a giant wall of text. but for the rest i canât wait how the rest of the story goes.
Looking forward to seeing it finished, but found some grammar and spelling errors. Keep up the good work!
if you chose the stranger to be a boy and thus Max you will get the female prompt instead of the male one.
It looks like some of the servants gave Max a thorough cleaning. His hair was washed and combed, a fresh pair of clothes, and his face seemed to glow after being watched. Looking more closely at Max, you realized that he was what many people would call good looking.
Sexuallity wasnât much of a concern among major Magic Houses. Simply put the Aurora houses had the power and influence to do what they wanted without any consequences or political backlash. Your parents and servants encouraged you to explore your sexuality, and looking at Maxxie you thoughtâŚ
She was pretty and would grow up to be a beautiful woman. Iâm a bit attracted to herâŚ
Iâm attracted to girls, but I didnât really think Maxxie was pretty.
She may be pretty, but Iâm attracted to boys rather than girls.
She wasnât really pretty, besides Iâm attracted to boys not girls.
She is definitley pretty, and honestly I think Iâd go for both boys and girls.
She wasnât pretty to me, and didnât fit my standards of beauty for boys and girls.
I admit that she is attractive, but I have no sexual attraction to girls or boys for that matter.
I donât agree that Maxxie is pretty, but I donât like either boys or girls anyways.
Quite an overhaul last time Iâve played through this, and definitely for the better. It may just be a draft but itâs already well-polished, and a joy to read. The choices for your unique magic skillset are also things that are not especially common, but still not rare enough to seem overpowered. A nice balance.
I didnât encounter any errors on my playthrough. I was going for a jack-of-all-trades sort of build.
Now, I want to get some of the elephants out of the room first:
Is the appearance of the MCâs nightmares and Max/xieâs arrival related at all? It would be nice to know why the parents are gone for a month and they suddenly bring along this child who is vague about how they came about, all while the poor MC keeps waking up in nightmares. Sheesh, theyâre circadian rhythm is even worse than mine.
Will Max/xie be able to go with the MC to the academy? Do they have any magical talents they kept hidden away from us?
Will there be a chance at all in the story to live out what the MC wants to do with the ValâShuun in their first dream? Like fighting or examining them? I think itâd be interesting. (No pun intended)
Grr⌠Itâs probably a typo or something on my part that screws the coding up.
I have a love for making people suffer with cliffhangers. No. I am not a nice person in case you were wondering. I am Heartless after all.
Thank you! I still have the old version somewhere, and when looking at it before I thought to myself âIâm going about this the wrong way. Must. Change.â
I want to try to balance magic. Yes, balance magic. That sounds crazy since magic is essentially an OP force of mayhem, but I want to do it as well as possible, but only as long as I donât compromise the game and magic system.
I could tell you, but Iâd prefer that you think of a whole bunch of different ideas and become paranoid over whatâs true and false until I reveal the truth.
Possibly. All Iâll say is that it depends on their impression of you, if you really want them to go, and that they wonât be a student (at least a full fledged one). As for magical ability. Itâs very faint. Not strong enough to be considered a mage, but strong enough to where they could utilize it should (s)he find proper training for it.
All Iâll say is that the ValâShuun and you will be seeing a lot of each other. Whether thatâs good or bad is up to you.
I hope you donât mind, but I looked in your code, and I think the problem is that:
*if mgen = male
should be:
*if mgen = âmaleâ
Yep, already fixed and corrected in my version. Thanks.
Also how did you see my code through this site? I know only the way to do so when itâs through dropbox.
Stick â/scenes/startup.txtâ at the end of the address. From there you can access the startup file, and find the names of the other files.
Thanks for that link. I used it before. Just when I tried it on the dashingdon site it didnât work for me. I most likely just typed it in wrong.
OMG. Maxxxxx Max is so cute So. Cute.
I like the reworked intro. Admittedly itâs a bit hard yet to know what sort of focus all the studying should have given that itâs a rather early juncture in the game. I like the idea though hope you stick with it so we find out where you are going with this.
After eating and resting youâre back outside the practice room. You have an entire weak to practice, until you join the academy.
You wanted week there
Opening your eyes, you see darkness once more, but before you can panic you realize youâre back in your room. You feel that your body is soaked in sweat, but at least your alive.
You wanted âyouâreâ there.
Embaressed your father let you go and gave you a warm smile.
You want âembarrassedâ there.
After practicing you saw that Maxxie was just silently watching you. For now you could let it be, or you could confront she.
Wants to be âherâ.
It looks like some of the servants gave Maxxie a thorough cleaning. Hers hair was washed and combed, a fresh pair of clothes, and hers face seemed to glow after being watched.
Just wants to be âherâ.
Iâll edit this post if I spot any more typos/potential edits.
Really enjoyed this (that cliffhanger tho!!!) i am so looking forward to seeing where itâll go!! i love the different reactions you can have and the combinations that can gave a unique character, it seems that youâll also have some focus on npc characters/companions as well? (crosses fingers!) I also love the prophetic dreams aspect⌠along with the arrival of this mysterious stranger which may or may not be connected⌠v intriguingâŚ
Aside from some spelling errors I do have a few things to point out that might be helpful:
On the ground your priestess laid, resting. He was exhausted from communing with the Gods, and would be of no more use in this fight.
*priestess usually implies female so you could use âpriestâ or âtheyâ rather than âheâ (unless this was intentional)
Striding forward, it commanded the other ValâShuun to withdraw.
*the next paragraph suggests theyâve advanced to attack rather than withdraw?
âTime to wake up now, young masterâ Rosalie said sternly
*later she calls you âmistressâ if female so you should probably take this out or change it to a gender-neutral term
You felt magic at work. Your brain was flooded with a magical presence, and it was the most uncomfortable feeling you ever felt.
*comfortable ?? or if you did intend it to be an uncomfortable feeling iâm curious for an explanation! as this would contradict that MC felt it had âalways belongedâ on their arm
Not some rich merchants child, or even those non-magical âNoblesâ. Though the distinction is not new to you, seeing it clearly displayed on your codex, made you feel giddy like a little kid again.
*being giddy implies that you enjoy the distinction of your rank even tho u can contradict this in next choice
I almost never left, unless my parents or some trusted guardians were with me.
*inconsistent pov
wrinkle-free suit and bowtie
*period accurate? i read you mentioned this takes place resembling medieval times, so a bowtie and suit would be out of place, unless that style of clothing is an intentional choice?
On the outside you were smiling, and on the inside you were
*this would flow more naturally if you cut out the âon the inside you wereâ; for example instead âyou were smiling and/but you felt ___â depending on the previous choice.
One more suggestion, maybe you might think about including part of the expanded choice in the initial choice selection? for example, rather than just one-word answers you could include a clarification of what that choice entails. one good example of this is in your reaction to your parentsâ trip, choosing âconcernâ results in later stating that you were never close to your parents while we have no way of knowing thatâs what the âconcernâ choice entails. TLDR; make it clearer to know what the intention behind each choice is before rather than after choosing it.
Also⌠i like how you worked in the choices for determining MCâs orientation but i also hope that MCâs initial reaction to Max/Maxxie wont determine the availability of a later possible romance?? :3 bc i can see alot of storytelling potential for the relationship; childhood enemies but becoming friends/lovers later, a mutual/one sided crush on either/both, initial best friends who drift apart, enemies who stay enemies, etc⌠i know thatâs a lot of variables just for one character but interesting to think about!
edit: also!! im wondering if we can go against or refuse to use our Housr magic⌠even though it seems to be the strongest stat maybe there can be ingame opportunities to express that you actually despise the magic of your family and take every opportunity to avoid using it⌠except in cases of extreme danger and even then we may feel guilty about it? so many possibilitiesâŚ
Welcome to the forum, as I see you are a new user
Just wanted to advise you to read the rules, as one part is specifically about not asking the authors for updates, as it could put unnecessary pressure on them.
https://forum.choiceofgames.com/guidelines
On this, have a nice day
Sorry about that! guess i missed that part of the rules! edited my post. thanks for the welcome!
Just a quick question to people. Considering this is a fantasy world and no doubt there is going to be a lot of new technology, phrases, slang, etc etc.
How do you want new concepts/items to be introduced? Would you prefer there be a reference page that you can look at, or for the in-game text to give a description of the item? Or some mix of it all?
- Reference Page Only
- Reference Page and Brief Description when first introduced
- Brief Description Only
- Other
0 voters
Thanks to everyone that voted. Looks like Iâm going with a reference page alongside a brief description.
@LordOfLA
Your skill at spotting my typos is always valuable, so thank again thank you!
@LckyLrkr Thanks for pointing out those errors. Some of the gender mishaps is because of my coding. I didnât properly code certain things so sometimes it gives the female or male gender descriptor rather than the one you actually chose.
Never thought about going against your house magic. Maybe that can tie into some certain plotlines I have in mind Cue schemeing manical laugh- Oh wait thatâs not my thing.
I am going to flesh our Max/Maxxie more. He/She will have their own side plot, quests, etc, and will play a part of the main story. No whether that role is beneficial or detrimental for you⌠shrugs
As for the scene with the ValâShuun itâs meant for the âcommonâ ValâShuun to retreat, because the ValâShuun leader basically decided âIâm just gonna beat all of them up by myself. The rest of you retreat and witness my gloryâ
@chrisbat True itâs hard to know what to study, but I plan on having all options be viable (maybe be the ultimate pacifist? Now thatâd be something considering the amount of things I have plannedâŚ)
I wanted that to be a little pre-academy study time. You choose what you deem important or useful to yourself, and if the academy lecturers say youâre wrong, you donât have to follow their rules (granted theyâll probably fail you. Or not depending on certain choicesâŚ)
In the academy youâll have a more structured form of studying and classes that you attend that will increase skills, and give a better knowledge of the world and itâs inhabitants. Now whether or not you try to study or ogle at the guys and gals in your class is up to youâŚ
In the academy youâll have a more structured form of studying and classes that you attend that will increase skills, and give a better knowledge of the world and itâs inhabitants. Now whether or not you try to study or ogle at the guys and gals in your class is up to youâŚ
how will you train your house magic in the academy ? because is house magic not magic that only your family can use or is more a magic that is inherited and that multiple families have the same one?