The Legend Of Endevoir


#1

The Legend Of Endevoir is a fantasy game that i’m trying to make using choicescript, it’s hard to put it in to words, I have a demo link here:
https://dl.dropbox.com/u/80993229/game/index.html
Any feedback is appreciated.


#2

This is really good I am looking forward to see how this game progresses.


#3

Hm, the appearance customisation feels kind of superfluous, the setting feels underdeveloped, and there doesn’t seem to be any sense of pacing whatsoever. You need to ease the player into the setting, not just go “BAM! You’ve been attacked by wizards that apparently exist and are being recruited by them for some reason! Also your mother is the leader and here’s a mission after a three year time skip!”.


#4

I can see the story may hold elements that will make it very good. I did however feel disconnected from the story as the flow, or lack there of, made it hard to become part of the story. It seem to jump to much, slow the intro, give the reader time to be drawn in. Of course this just my opion take with a grain of salt. I will keep tabs on this to see how it progresses.


#5

@13ventrm
I understand that the story may start up quick, but it will ease in to the setting more later, and i’m trying to do sort of a “back-in-time” thing where you recall memories of your past, i’m working on it right now.
@Lordirish
Thank you for your comment, I know it doesn’t really tell you much of your backstory when you start, but as I said, I will reveal more…
@Everyone
I’m planning to do daily updates, so check everyday for new updates!
Also, I added a “promotion code” feature, here’s a password that will give you the Longsword Of Promotion, “FreeSword”, the password is case sensitive, so make sure you type it with the caps.


#6

Its not so much needing the back story but slow the flow of the story. I felt like I was rushing head first towards the ground and no time to notice what was around me. This not a bad thing but not to start a story, you need to hook the reader before you rush them toward their doom. In a matter of speaking. Of course again these are just my thoughts on it.


#7

Great game!


#8

I made a website for thegame, you can find it at: http://592454618242873675.weebly.com/

@Death
Thanks!