The Lawless Ones (Previously "Villains") Completed! (Beta Closed)

steampunk
nonbinary-inclusive
gender-choice

#364

Not exactly sure what directions I’m going to go in for the endings right now, but I have a few ideas in mind. :blush:


#365

I’d be happy to beta test as well if you need more people :slight_smile:


#366

2BBE4D14-AB0A-4550-8359-9A87575D7BFE


#367

I’ve just played through the demo linked in the first post – which it seems may be woefully out of date since we’re talking about chapter 9 here. :stuck_out_tongue: I’d love to beta test if it’s still open! But first my thoughts on the demo, in case that’s still the operating bit for the first few chapters:

I like the story so far! I’m intrigued and want to know more, and I’m enjoying playing. I’ve noticed a few minor continuity issue details. The in-game text says I gained 30 sprockets after leading the guards away from Viper and Gadget on the break-in, but then bolded text shows up saying I’ve gained only 10, while the amount in my inventory goes up to 30. Shortly after that, The Boss seems to demand 3 sprockets from everyone else, while my character gives him “5, just like everyone else”. Not sure if I’m being very naive or if that’s a mistake somewhere.

Swift seems to be speaking in a cockney dialect, which I don’t mind even if it’s a little jarring that his accent is written out while nobody else is, but he still says “ass” instead of “arse”. This isn’t very important, lol, but it did jump out at me.

Just a suggestion, but for the initial gender choice you may want to consider “I was assigned male at birth, but I’m a girl” and cut the “I identify as” language for trans characters. Similar for non-binary characters – “I’m not a boy or a girl” instead of “I don’t identify as male or female”.
ETA: You also probably want your stats screen to say either:
“Gender: Transgender Male” (if character is trans) vs “Gender: Cisgender Male” (if character is cis)
or just “Gender: Male” (for both).
Instead of “Gender: Transgender Male” (if character is trans) vs “Gender: Male” (if character is cis)


#368

Wanted to beta test it, but I think I wouldn’t be useful, since I’ve been a little busy lately so I don’t think I’d have much time to replay it many times for bug and typos search :pensive:

I didn’t pay much attention to the stats and how the gender options were written, but seeing it now, I agree with ElliotEnjolras’ suggestions.

Ssssso, what’s Hotshot’s eye colour again? Also, would you mind if I took a bit of creative freedom and added a bit of orange and red to Hotshot’s flames? :yum: I know it’s taking some time for me to finish it but been recovering from an intense pain in my neck and arm, I have to take it easy on drawing for a while ;-;


#369

To all my beta testers (and anyone who might be interested in beta testing) Chapter 10 is now done! (It’s a pretty important one, so hope you guys enjoy.) :blush:


#370

Thanks, @VelvetDivine, that’d be awesome! :blush:


#371

It is! And I’d be really grateful for your help. :blush:

Whoops! Yeah, those are definitely mistakes. I think I fixed them in the full version, but I guess I must’ve forgotten to fix them in the demo. Thanks for pointing that out.

Good point! A true cockney would say “arse”. I should change that. :yum:

I don’t know, I think the options seem fine the way they are. Generally, a transgender person would identify as transgender, whereas a cisgender person wouldn’t use the word “cisgender” to describe themself, they’d just say, “I’m a man” or “I’m a woman”. (You’d be surprised the amount of cisgender people who don’t actually know what the word “cisgender” means) :yum:


#372

I’d love to beta test if you still need help! This game is very interesting :smile:


#373

You can still beta test if you want. I don’t expect all my beta testers to play through the game hundreds of times. In fact, I don’t expect all of them to even play through the whole game. If you could just play part of it and let me know any problems with the part you have read, that’d be really helpful. :blush:

Dark brown.

Sure, go for it! That sounds awesome.

Awh, I’m really sorry to hear that! I hope you feel better soon. :face_with_head_bandage:


#374

Thank you! That’s be really hepful :blush:


#375

Wow! That was quite an update!


#376

And that’s an understatement indeed! :sweat_smile:


#377

I’m looking forward to finding out what the Leech is exactly!


#378

Trans people would just say “I’m a man” or “I’m a woman” too. As it’s written, it’s almost using “transgender” as a qualifier before “male/female”… whereas cisgender is “normal” so you aren’t labeling it. And the “I identify as…” instead of “I am” phrasing also presents a similar kind of qualification. Like, “You’re not really X, but you Identify that way.”

I know that’s absolutely not your intention here, since you wrote the option at all! That’s exactly why I wanted to point it out, though. Thanks for the invite, I’ll check out the rest of the game soon.


#379

This. For better or worse, minority politics are primarily relevant to selfsame minorities.


#380

Hi, I would love to test this for you :blush:


#381

I’m sorry but this sentence makes no sense. Just as a cis person would say: I am a man a woman or an enby, so does a transgendered person. I ran your thought by 4 different individuals and all four thought this way. An activist person, might accept the labeling for activist reasons but not out of identity.

I’d have to agree with everything said here. Especially noting that I do appreciate your working hard on adding inclusiveness among your choices.


#382

okay… i didn’t know this game already in betatest phase *slamming head to the wall :joy: well, maybe its because i dont have as many time as i wish to check the forum :cry:
and now i kinda wish i have a time to be able to join your betatester :sob:


#383

While I understand where you’re both coming from, I would still prefer to keep the options the way they are now, if I can. I appreciate that rephrasing the options would be preferable to a lot of people, but I actually worded the options very carefully in an attempt to make them as uncontroversial and unconfusing as possible.

Like I said before, a lot of cisgender people don’t know what the word cisgender means. A lot of cisgender people also don’t know what non-binary means. (In all honesty, if I wasn’t frequently on the internet, I probably wouldn’t know what it means either, since I don’t think I’ve ever heard that word used by anyone I know IRL.) If someone asked me what non-binary meant, I wouldn’t say, “A non-binary person is someone who isn’t a man or a woman.” Honestly, I think this would just confuse a lot of people and cause them to think that non-binary people are born without genitals. Saying, “Non-binary people do not identify as male or female” is something that everybody can understand, even if they’ve never heard the word before.