The Judgement of Tarkar [WIP Updated 11/14/2018: Month One, Week 4]

high-fantasy
gender-choice

#1

Hello everyone! I’ve been a fan of Choice of Games and Hosted Games for quite some time, and I finally decided to make a game that’ll hopefully be a Hosted Game one day. I wasn’t sure how much to write to start off the demo, but I hope you enjoy it! And I would love to hear any thoughts you have, whether it be about characters or choices or typos or stats! :slightly_smiling_face:

For three years the city of Tarkar has heard the warnings of a doomsayer. For three years the people have heard the plea to cast away their wickedness and return to the order of Heaven. For three years Tarkar, of which you are a citizen, has dismissed it all. And as you soon discover, for three years the gods have been watching closely, and they will have their vengeance.

You play as the mortal guide to Harja, the god chosen to live among the people of Tarkar for one year and bring them judgement. In that one year your actions and guidance may lead to Tarkar’s deliverance… or to its destruction. Yet even as you decide the city’s fate, do not forget you must also decide your own in…

The Judgement of Tarkar

Average Playthrough: ~16,000
Total Word Count: ~104,000

Changelog:

Summary

11/14/2018

  • Fixed typos/grammar/spelling/continuity up to month one, week 3.
  • Added another Harja scene in month one, week 2.
  • Added two Harja scenes (for month one, weeks 3 and 4) and another “heading home” scene that changes depending on who you met the previous week for month one, week 3.

#2

This is a master piece the writing and story are outstanding


#3

This had me grinning like a fool. I’m glad you enjoyed it. :blush:


#4

An interesting take on the classical story of gods’ judgement. Can I say that your dialogues were awesome? I love how pompous the gods sound. Writing in such manner in speaking, while retaining a normal level of coherency ain’t easy (at least for my standards), so all more power to you :fire:

The gods in your story, what inspired their creation? Did you use any existing religion for reference and if yes, which one?

Also found this

image
will be a boon


#5

Wow! Let me just say this is such an amazing first demo! I’m already so enamored with the story and your writing, it’s phenomenal. :blush: I wish you luck on the project! :revolving_hearts:


#6

I really liked it so far! The gods’ dialogues were amazing and the idea in general is so, so interesting!


#7

Ha ha, thank you. That’s the feeling I was going for. :blush:

I would say bits and pieces from all different myths, but the foundation would probably be Greek and Sumerian. Also, thanks for telling me about the typo! If anyone sees any others, please don’t hesitate to point them out.

Thank you! :hugs:

Thank you! I’m glad everyone is liking the gods’ dialogues. :hugs:


#8

I love my nickname The Reluctant Guide. lol


#9

This gives off a very Meet Joe Black vibe mixed with a few other things (I wanted to make another movie reference but the exact title escapes me).

I liked quite a bit of what I read so far. I hope that the child of the Goddess of Hearth will start meddling a bit more. Not necessarily with their powers but rather becoming more nosy in the affairs of mortals in an attempt to understand them further or to change them, perhaps guided by naivete.

I wonder if injustices/harm will befall the protagonist and if we’ll be forced to juggle righteousness with self-preservation and/or more selfish first-reactions. Perhaps with consequences to livelihood or well-being to the overly selfless protagonist.

Or if the other Gods more fearful of the Hearth’s judgement will begin to interfere, leading to further complications.

A critique, however: I noticed that, most times, the child of the Goddess disapproves of your actions if you’re non-committal or harsh. I was hoping there would be more actions where the protagonist is reluctant or blunt but still morally good/righteous instead of having to act with pure candidness to sway the child. It just left the impression that you have to be goofy and vulnerable for the sake of good. Giving the option for a more jaded hero without being punished during a Saviour route would be a welcomed addition.

All in all it was great fun and I look forward to see how it expands and develops.


#10

How to put it? I love it. XD

Also, I wonder how is Harja when romanced lol, I mean, I’m having a hard time imagining how they would behave xD. They are just… Well, quirky if that’s the word.


#11

That’s my favorite nickname too. :laughing:

Thank you! Harja will definitely start meddling more (you’ll soon find out they aren’t too pleased they can’t enter the Palace District and want you to do something about it, lol), although it’s up to you change people, if you so choose. Harja’s role is to be an impartial judge, and they take that very seriously… at least, for now.

Let’s just say there’s a reason why Ilatsal and Sarpet’s opinions of you are noted in the prologue. :wink:

As someone who loves playing the jaded hero myself, don’t worry. It is entirely possible to do the savior routes as a jaded hero (or even as a straight up villain).

I will say that disapproving comments from Harja doesn’t necessarily mean what you said or did was bad, and anything positive from them doesn’t necessarily mean what you said or did was moral. Harja may be judging the city for righteousness on behalf of the Goddess of the Hearth, but some gods are more righteous than others… and Harja’s still figuring out which sort of god they are. In other words, Harja’s opinion of you or their peanut gallery commentary is not connected to your morality or the city’s morality.

They ask advice from their father, the God of War. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: :frowning:


#12

I can’t wait to read more of this and be able to get to know the characters better.


#13

Very interesting, had me reading everything in one go, which I hadn’t done with any of the more recent demos


#14

Thank you! The first month is mostly an introduction to all the characters, but depending on who you meet you can start to see which characters are friends, which are enemies, and in Nestor and Ambrose’s case, which are frenemies. :laughing:

Thank you, especially since I didn’t warn how long it was going to be! :blush:


#15

…the God of War… xD I don’t know but, if you were in my place and were to read that it’s the God of War that they ask advises for… I don’t know what to expect, I mean, sure I may be judging him from his status of God of War and that doesn’t mean he gives bad advises or something concerning romance but… are these advises legit or are these who lead to comic situations? XD


#16

Well, the advice is legit, but Harja’s relationship is definitely a tragicomedy. Their reactions/how they go about following that advice are comedic and over-the-top even in their sincerity. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Honestly, the God of War is actually one of the sweetest in Heaven. There’s a reason why the Goddess of the Hearth had a child with him. Although everything Harja knows about divine retribution they had learned from him, so… :fearful:


#17

My first thought was Jonah preaching to Nineveh, though any of the (many) prophets sent to Israel/Judah would for just as well. Which one were you thinking of?


#18

I figured most would think of Sodom and Gomorrah, as that’s the one always mentioned, but I was thinking of Jonah! Ha ha. :flushed:

I originally didn’t want to say Jonah because a certain character cough Juliana cough is based on him, and if you know his story then you know that their motives aren’t as they seem, but now I realize that the reader can figure that out since I put Harja’s opinion of that certain character’s morality in the breakfast discussion already… so I’ll probably remove that line in the post later.

Anyway, thanks for checking out my game!


#19

Whoops, sorry if I spoiled anything! I didn’t actually catch the Jonah reference in the demo, he was just the first one that came to mind when I thought of “prophet sent to warn doomed city”. Not sure why, he just popped up.


#20

Thank you all so much for your replies! It really cheered me on, and so here’s another update:

Average Playthrough: ~16,000
Total Word Count: ~104,000

Fixed typos/grammar/spelling/continuity up to month one, week 3. There’s quite a bit here, but two examples: Harja is no longer the one to bring up the sorceress if you haven’t met Anselm yet before meeting Restituta, and no matter which week you meet Soteris now she’ll say the correct date.

Added another Harja scene in month one, week 2. The housing council, and the palace district, are ever looming on the horizon.

Added two Harja scenes (for month one, weeks 3 and 4) and another “heading home” scene that changes depending on who you met the previous week for month one, week 3. You’ll also get a an item for your house that changes depending on which Harja scene you do first.

Lastly, since we finally reached the end of week four, it’s possible to meet all the characters (except for the potentate and the judge, who are still behind the gates of the Palace District) in one playthrough. If you have any opinions of them, or anything else so far, please do tell! :hugs: