The Judgement of Tarkar [WIP Updated 1/4/2019: Poll #51]

high-fantasy
gender-choice

#61

Hey hey @expectedoperator could you post a description a physical of Harja and the three gods again? I want to practice my drawing skills on Harja (poor them).


#62

I’m sure it’ll be great! :hugs:

I don’t go too much into the gods descriptions at first to give them that distant, incomprehensible feeling, but here’s some of the descriptions within the story so far:

Orihark (Goddess of the Hearth):

  • One of the women looks middle-age with laugh lines around her eyes,

Ilatsal (Goddess of Art):

  • while the other is in her prime and has blotchy skin
  • in her eyes are eons lived.
  • Appearing in the mortal form of a blotchy-skinned woman in her prime

Sarpet (God of Dreams):

  • The man looks to be the same age but has a disagreeable sharpness about him
  • his figure sharp but moving with a certainty that Harja has yet to obtain in their mortal form
  • Appearing in the mortal form of a sharp-looking man in his prime

Harja:

  • Now before you is only a person, their hair red and their appearance in age close to your own. Yet even in that mortality, that commonality, there is a refinement to their features that only the proud kings and queens of old could boast. They look at their own hand with awe and dread
  • Their head is in their hands, red hair tangled around their fingers. The low light of the oil lamps makes the strands glow like fire upon ash
  • you point out as you turn back towards your breakfast, suppressing a grin towards their common clothing that the nobles wouldn’t use for rags.

Also, while it wouldn’t really show up in how they look in their mortal forms, age-wise it’s Orihark, then Ilatsal, then Harja, and then Sarpet. Right now Harja’s still trying to figure out their mortal body, but they do carry themselves/have an air about them that’s more restrained/mature compared to Sarpet.

I hoped that helped! :smile:


#63

Harja is older than Sarpent, but looks younger? Did I get this right?

Now I can’t help but imagine the two playing together as children :thinking: How do gods age anyway? Are they born as adults (case point: Athena) or like babies?


#64

Harja, Ilatsal, and Sarpet are all supposed to be “close in age” to the MC in appearance. But since I leave it up to the reader to decide how old the MC is, and “close in age” is general enough that it could mean same/older/younger, you can make Harja and Sarpet appear however you wish. :relaxed:

The gods are born as babies, although a baby god isn’t really mortal or even really “humanoid”… it’s like describing a star being “born” in a nebula. They do have their equivalent of childhood and teenage years – but to them, a year could mean centuries.

And while they may not be mortal, Ilatsal did babysit Harja (which is why, depending on your choices, they might say “What do you know of art? I sat at the knee of Ilatsal as she created works that would make mortals die in peace if they looked upon it.”) and Harja and Sarpet did play together as children (which is why, when you lie about Harja following them, Sarpet gets the most flustered. :laughing:)


#65

Did either of the two had a crush on the other?

Definitely need to try this too.

Practice sketch - Don't say I didn't warn you


Harja looks younger than intended. Also my coloring skills are nonexistent


#66

No, Harja was always a bit too hard-nosed for Sarpet, and Sarpet was always too nosy for Harja – in other words, they disliked in each other their own worst traits. Both of them are romantics in their own way (which is partly why they were friends to begin with), though, which is why Sarpet instantly runs with the childhood romance trope.

Absolutely great! :star_struck: I like how they don’t look very amused.


#67

Is Harja ever amused? Certainly not by my MC~

Hey, how does Harja feel about humans? Is our MC the first human they interacted with?

other


is likeness the right word to use?


each looks?


Was the repetition intentional?

Maybe I’m looking too deeply into it, but when Raine comes to collect the first rent, why does he warn Harja against staying in the house? For all he knows Harja could be just a one night stand and was just about to leave, which shouldn’t cause much trouble for Raine as a landlord.

Can the MC imply that Harja is indeed a one night stand and that they will be leaving soon? Sounds like something a MC who doesn’t want Harja under their roof would do.


#68

The MC is the first one they’ve interacted with! As for how Harja feels… overall they have a neutral view. They initially dislike the MC, though (which is where their lack of amusement comes in, lol) - as their guide, the MC represents this mission they were forced into (which they comment on during the prologue), and just like with Sarpet and their shared worst traits, Harja, who isn’t the god of anything and has no role among the gods, dislikes how the MC doesn’t have a real “role” either (and so can bounce between jobs).

But there’s two people in the city Harja really likes though, which will have plot consequences later on – Plotina (the shopkeeper they helped), and Nautius (your neighbor who they’re constantly gossiping with).

It’s a condemned house – no one’s even suppose to step a foot inside (which is why Raine is bribing the Housing Council to look the other way while the MC lives there). I’ll emphasize that more in Raine’s paragraph – and good idea about the MC implying it’s a one night stand. I’d like to keep to just four options, so I’ll edit the fourth one to suggest something along those lines.

And thanks for pointing out the wording stuff! The repetition was intentional, but I’ll edit the other things. :relaxed:


#69

Hey there!

I just now found this WIP and I am officially obsessed!

Your coding and the immersive story are absolutely wonderful! I was worried it would be just blocks of text, but it is easily digestable and such a joy to read!

(No rush, but…) I can’t wait to see where you take this story!!


#70

Thank you!! I’m really glad you enjoyed what I’ve written so far. :grin:

I’ve actually been thinking of editing the prologue a bit so there’s fewer blocks of text in the beginning (and making the skip prologue option even shorter) so in the next few days I hope to get that up and see which one people prefer. :thinking: