Would rather have these things not affect stats. Would rather choose what color my eyes are without it effecting my social behavior and manners.
Personality is not affected, just statistics. Its not like its going to screw your game play.
Its a bonus. Since normally it would be just the choice and thats it.
i suppose.
In any case
Its an interesting away to dinamically distribute the stats. It may actually be a bit of a pain to make now that i think about it?
Intersting nonetheless.
Yeah, I could understand why.
Right now I have it set so itâs impossible to raise wonder in the prologue, since itâs connected to the hardest endings to reach, as well as to show how âlowâ you are in society.
Yeah, in some cases having lower stats could improve your game play. There will be times â and endings â where youâll want certain stats to be low to get a better result.
I think Iâll leave the poll up until tomorrow and figure out what to do based on the result then. Thanks everyone whoâs voted so far.
So there is an ending i wont be able to get unles i have low knowledge?
Just to make things clear.
Sort of. I havenât decided on the stat numbers for the endings yet, and this is very generalized, but if you donât mind spoilers for possible endings:
If you want the Teacher ending, youâd need 50 - 100 knowledge, but if youâre trying for the Alchemist ending, youâll go for 0 - 49 knowledge.
Or if you want the Farmer ending, youâll go for 0 - 49 vitality, but if you want the Hunter ending youâll go for 50 - 100 vitality.
Your personality also plays a role in your ending â so if you become a hunter, but your sensitivity and/or caution are too high, youâll get the âbadâ hunter ending.
Your traits â such as Ruler or Social â are another factor into which ending youâll get, although for that itâs mainly which one is the highest.
Thanks to everyone who has commented or liked! Hereâs the update for today:
Fixed typos/grammar/spelling/continuity up to month 2, week 2. Thanks again to @LikeGames for pointing out the typo!
Added eye/hair color customization. A big thanks to everyone who voted, and to @Hearts and @No_This_Is_Patrick who commented about what they wanted! I decided that the initial decision will have no stats connected to it â but, depending on your hair or eye color choice, there may be a bonus increase to the clothes you wear. If Plotina comments about your eyes or hair when you choose an outfit, youâll get the bonus stat (so if the outfit would originally give you +10 Knowledge, now itâll give you +15).
Added a scene to month 2, week 2. You now have to tell Harja what you found out⌠or you could lie.
Altered a scene in month 2, week 2. I added more relationship boosts during the questioning depending on your outfit.
Added scenes for month 2, week 3. Harja isnât very good at spyingâŚ
Added first job event for farmer and innkeeper. It should occur during the second month. Youâll need to have chosen to work as a farmhand or a inn server for a few weeks, but try them out! If you go the farmer route youâll having to start dealing with noble squabbling, and if you go the inn route you might be able to get a kiss and a ring from a thief.
Added Anselmâs General Store and five new clothes. These are a bit more expensive, though.
If you have any thoughts on the new update, or anything else in the game, please let me know!
I donât have words to describe that how great is your work. Your writing is awesome bro and the way you go from one scene to next one, is great and I also loved the way you described the options, it makes it very easy to choose that on which path you wanna go ahead.
Thank you! Iâm glad you like the movement between scenes and the options. Comments like these encourage me to write even faster.
What an interesting plot line and a captivating demo so far! Iâm a big fan of Greek/Norse Mythology myself so I was immediately interested when I read the bio. What inspired you to start a mythological story like this if I may ask?
Thank you! Iâm a big fan of mythologies myself. Iâve always loved how the stories explore human nature through humanityâs interactions with the gods and through the actions of the gods themselves. And since this type of story is archetypal, I figured a mythological story like this would be more dynamic if the reader got to choose and explore their own humanity along the way.
I also love time limits in games, so this was just the sort of story where I could make time an important factor to the plot.
Thanks to everyone who has commented or liked! This oneâs a short update because of the holidays :
Fixed typos/grammar/spelling/continuity up to month 2, week 2.
Added the job event for the alchemist. It seems Silver wants to make an elixir⌠but what kind is it? (All the job events are connected to the main plotlines in some way, so try them out!)
Added Silverâs Alchemy Shop. You canât use any items yet, but hopefully by the next update Iâll have the inventory system to use the items finally in place!
Altered the checkpoint system. You can now view your stats from a previous checkpoint before you go back to it.
I also added more distinct lines for the option where you can lie about Harja falling in love with the person theyâve been following. Now everyone has a different reaction.
Finally, POLL QUESTION: Is there any other important information youâd like in the new Checkpoint system when you look back at previous months? Should I add a few lines detailing a few events or is it fine as is?
- Just the stats is fine
- Add a few lines detailing important plot points
- Add something else (describe in comment)
0 voters
Edit: This was a more lopsided poll than last time, so Iâll close it now and be adding the plot point lines to the checkpoint system. Thanks to everyone who voted! If you have any other feedback, Iâd love to hear it.
Just finished another playthrough, this time as a reluctant guide. Admittedly, it felt oddly thrilling playing a somewhat jerkish character (and always disagreeing with Harja, haha). Nobody really liked my poor MC, who, to be fair, is probably leading the city to its destruction by always pointing out the flaws of the city.
But boy did the thing with Ia surprise me. Sneaky, sneaky.
Say, how much trouble am I in, if my MC doesnât stop frolicking between jobs/skills?
Oh, and is it possible to successfully get into the Palace district on our first attempt?
Grammar & The Like
I realize some of what I wrote down are likely stylish decisions, but decided to point them out regardless. In case they arenât.
Yet now there is something that usually isnât on the street, a glimmer of light that catches the corner of your eye.
you catch from the corner of your eye/ catches your eye
The guidance of this mortal upon your child troubles me. (This is said by either Goddes of Art or God of War.)
âThe guidance of this mortal upon your childâ Is it missing a verb? I think I know what you are trying to say (Essentialy the speaker is expressing doubt about MCâs guidance), but something just doesnât sit well with me. Most likely the âuponâ part.
Now before you is only a person, their hair red and their appearance in age close to your own.
appearance close in age
Look upon her wonder! She is is not a hero or pious follower but just another citizen of Tarkar.
is
She looks up when a loud murmur rises up from the schoolhouse resting close by, as does others walking by or peering out from their grand homes. (First Ia Graveyardâs scene. I think)
This sentance is a troublesome one. First ârises upâ - I always associate it with smoke or something rising higher/moving up, whereas âresting close byâ makes me imagine a house curled up in the nearby grass. I guess I am used to the âA house, resting on the edge of the forestâ and not to the âA house resting nearbyâ. The bold part ⌠Could you consider revising it?
Example: She looks up when the loud murmuring from the schoolhouse starts rising in volume, catching the attention of those passing by and drawing the others from their grand homes.
Her eyes are solemn despite lacking the dark ash she wears for her work. (Ia, same scene)
Dark ash = sort of make-up? Just checking.
There are many schoolhouses like this across the city, but those living in this district wished one for their own nearby.
either âwished for one of their ownâ or âwished one of their ownâ
âCitizens of Tarkar, hear these words as decreed by the potentate on this day, the fourteenth day of the first month. The southern gate, which was the hardest hit during the summer storm that occurred three years ago, shall be closed for one month in order to restore it to its former glory. It shall be plastered and painted anew, and all will see that nothing shall bring down the walls or people of Tarkar. Thus decrees the potentate, leader and protector of the city!â declares the town crier Soteris Leander.
Dressed in flowing silks that match the colors of the square, hair adorned with flowers that surely came from the gardens that line the roads to where she now stands, Soteris takes a breath as she spots you and Prosper among the crowd. She comes over to you with a growing smile, putting away the small bell as it noisily rings. âHello, Aelia. Your friend is new to the city, isnât he? I believe Nestor mentioned someone with red hair. Are you just visiting or are you a new citizen of Tarkar?â
hit the hardest
Declares (?)
The jump from one paragraph to another was rather abrupt. Perhaps Harja could comment on the decree with Soteris cutting in? Maybe?
âWhat will you be doing the city for a year?â asks Soteris with a curious glance.
doing in the
While theyâre busy discussing a war that Nautius had in during his youth, you make a breakfast of roasted turnips and sit down at the table. (Harja and the neighbour are talking in the morning)
fought in
You are heading home on your usual route, the busy street from last week now free of crowds or wagons.
by?
âYou better get started because daylightâs going fast.â (farmer on my way home after work)
the daylightâs going out fast?
The smell of baking drifts through the house and through the open window, making the neighborhoodâs street dog begin sniffing around your doorstep. As they take more wheat into their hands it falls from their fingers as flour, and not before long they have dough for the next loaf to be put into the oven.
As Harja takes ⌠â for clarity
There are other hunters nearby, some carrying the result of their hunt along their shoulders and others taking water from the nearby well to clean the blood off their hands. There are tens upon tens of knives between them all, and twice as many arrows, the bows unique in their colors and markings.
over/on
Tens upon tens of knifes are resting in-between/between them all
Her cloak sliding off her even as her perpetual frown remains, she has brought back game and word from the mountains to the north, as well as hunted in the valleys to the south.
Maybe consider changing this one? The different tenses confused me.
âHe uses that family recipe of his if you want some spice to it.â (the huntress is speaking)
used
The alchemist, Silver, told me that it was because she was once an alchemistâs assistant herself, working with diligence and purpose, that she found herself becoming an alchemist despte not ever planning to become one.
despite
âYouâre going to start acting like Soteris or Aquila now that youâre hanging out with the nobility and are dear potentate and judge,â says Raine before giving you a side-eyed glance.
either âthat areâ or âand ourâ
âLook, Aelia was right when She said theyâre taking money from me as well as my tenants.â (Second month, Raine came for the rent)
she
âWhy would you want to know, anyway?â asks Raine, returning to the gray sky with a sigh.
turning
The conversation is agreeable enough, although you yourself donât find agreeing with Manahen all the time. The conversation is agreeable enough, although you yourself donât find agreeing with Manahen all the time.
Sentence repetition
Other Stuff
I chose the 7th month for my birthday and was told that I was born in the beginning of autumn. Is this on purpose (since July is as middle summer month as it can be:sun_with_face:)? How many months are in a year in your story?
Okay, so I was playing as a Rude and Reluctant Guide (always!), yet Harja told me âfor it has done well for me thusâ. I was kind of surprised they A) found me helpful, B) decided to seek my guidance in the future despite my attitude.
Here are some examples that felt a bit jarring (continuity wise)
âDo not speak so lightly of the gods! Neither she nor any of her priests or priestesses would deign to consider taking the city from Orihark, however righteous Ilatsal is,â says Nestor before turning away. âBe sure to visit the temple, Aelia and Prosper.â
I just angered the guy by accusing his goddes of plotting a takeover and he invites me to visit his temple in the next breath? Nerves of steel, man.
Juliana is refuting my statement about not being a failure of a follower.
âDo you think so little of the gods, and of me, that I would take upon myself a failed follower of another god?â wonders Prosper. âOf course, I did take you on as my guide, and you are only a peasant chosen by the whim of the hearth.â
At first I thought Harja was addressing Juliana (which obviously isnât a case). Could you maybe insert MCâs name somewhere at the start of Harjaâs comment?
âIt would be easier to jump the Palace Districtâs fence.â; The woman with the handkerchief follows her friend down as the street, jug of water now in hand.
Prosper stares after them with a line between their brows. âWhen I visited the Market this week, every shop and stall was open to me. I could speak to the shopkeepers and observe the spices, dolls, linens, and all other sorts of mortal things that they were selling.â
Ladies talk about rent rising. It threw me a bit, when Harja, who obviously noticed them, suddenly starts speaking about shops, as if nothing happened. Usually they would be all like âWhy nobody is doing anything?/Why is this happening?/Where is that House Council etc.â
âIâm not sure how many bags there could be left, cause for all I know a thief did steal a few and was just picky about what he chose, but Iâll give you each a coin for every bag you find. Oh, would you like to help, too? The more the merrier.â (When meeting the farmer on your way home.)
I thought he kept talking to me, when in fact the bolded part was meant for someone else. Could this be somehow changed?
Thank you soooo much for pointing out all those typos/grammar stuff/continuity issues and what stood out to you story-wise. You have no idea how much that helped me.
Although sometimes good is not nice, so depending on your choices you could be saving the city by pointing out the flaws.
Iâm not sure what you mean by frolicking between jobs. Can you give an example?
As for your third question: right now itâs not possible, but thanks for pointing that out â I think Iâll be changing the coding for that so there is a chance for you to get into the Palace if your stats are high enough.
Yep. Although most wouldnât use just ash but combine it with minerals, oils, etc. similar to ancient Egyptianâs use of kohl, but since Iaâs a professional mourner sheâs using just ash for the symbolic/ritual aspect.
There are twelve months â the year starts in spring (so the first month would be March) and ends in winter (the last month would be February).
Right now thatâs connected to how you reacted during the first breakfast scene, but I donât mind adding more variable checks so Harjaâs opinion makes more sense.
Iâll fix the other typos/continuity issues as well. Thanks again!
Glad to be of help!
I knew I shouldnât have used âfrolickingâ, no matter how pretty it sounds
What I wanted to say that my MC had a different job every week with no regards for the stats. Now, in some CoGs I would fail to succeed at certain points of the story, because I would not be focusing on specific stats. Does this also apply for your story?
Iâm curious, why did you decide to start the year with the spring? Canât wait to see the birthday scenes. Will we get to celebrate Harjaâs day of birth too assuming they even have one?
Good to know! Say, if my character is severely disliked by other characters, are they in any danger of getting removed from the game by one of the said characters before the year is up?
Somehow I missed this. Awesome.
I would say itâs a combination. Like when you investigate the Housing Council, youâll need certain stats depending on who you talk to â but if youâre wearing their favorite outfit then theyâll give you the information no matter what. And even if you fail but give the correct name when lying to Harja, youâll still be successful⌠you just wonât get the relationship or stat boost you might have normally received.
You may also want to purposely fail at certain points â so if youâre trying to get into the good graces of the those really involved in the Housing Council, you would want to lie/choose another name/etc. At the very least, if you do fail in getting the info and lie about getting it, youâll then get the option to make someone believe that Harjaâs in love with them.
There are cases where youâll just need high stats (or even low stats!) to be successful, but thereâs only one time where not focusing will come back to bite you: the ending. All the endings are connected to your stats, so if youâre trying to be a farmer but your vitality is low or you did too many jobs other than farmer thereâs a high chance you wonât be a farmer. Of course, you may get an ending thatâs even better!
Partly because the Roman calendar began in March and partly because the imagery of the cityâs destruction/sparing being at the time of the year known for renewal and rebirth was too good to pass up.
I suppose Harjaâs birthday would be when they made their mortal form and you gave them a name⌠but according to my notes, that would be the equivalent of February 29th⌠so it looks like theyâre a leap-year baby. But youâll definitely be able to celebrate their birthday.
No, but they might make your life miserable â gameplay wise, this might mean if you normally need 30 or over for a stat check, now youâd need 50 and over, etc. I may put an event in or two as well, but for now the only danger for you is Harjaâs judgement at the end of the year.
Not everyone will make it to the end of the year, though â and itâs up to you to decide who does.
Just a quick thing, but how exactly does the job âbarâ work? it seems to fluctuate wildly with no regard for how well you did on your job on that day or how good you are at the job overall. Is this a bug, or am I missing something?
edit: nevermind, I see what I was missing. If anything, I might suggest adding a short blurb just because itâs somewhat unclear what the bar is communicating the first few times youâre presented with it.
Will do! Thanks for pointing that out. And just in case anyone else is wondering how the job bar works: itâs more or less a progress bar. Each time you work you gain a certain percentage, and once you reach 100 you gain/lose the stats noted beneath the bar. And if normally gaining that percentage would have made it gone over 100 if it hadnât reset (so like if youâre at 80 but gain 30), that extra progress is carried over.
Thanks for pointing that out! I think I know what went wrong with the coding thereâŚ
itâs not like my cranky!MC will go power crazy.
MC: Off with their head!
Progress bar for jobs is a neat idea! Iâm in awe of your coding skills.
Oh yeah, I have a question & silly suggestion about names.
Question: How did you come up with names? Are they from a certain language?
Silly suggestion (mind you, it really is silly!): Instead of greying out MCâs name, it could be left as an option for people like me so we can try giving Harja MCâs name then watch them get angry about it.
Did I mention I like annoying my poor, er, ward?, guidee?, divine tourist?, whenever possible?
Oh no, Iâm not very good at coding (you can guess from my username which error I often get in randomtest!). Originally I was going to use decimals so youâd get +.2 Vitality or -.1 Knowledge directly, but I found that doesnât really work well â at least when I attempted it. I actually based the progress bar on some of the money-coding tutorials on the forum.
For MC/Harjaâs names, itâs a mix of Roman (Aelia, Dionysius), Greek (Dynamis, Aethalides), English (Vivian, Victor), and Puritan-Engish (Patience, Prosper). I chose those names in particular for a few reasons â so that the feminine/masculine names would be similar, so that from the start there would be a feeling the city was âancientâ like Athens or Rome because of names like âDionysiusâ, to suggest the idea of morality/the spiritual with the Purtian-based names like âPatienceâ, and finally to make the city more modern with English names like âVivianâ.
Also, more practically, by having names from vastly different time periods, Iâm free to use names for the other characters from the classical era to now without worrying too much about how it fits â and it lets the player do the same if they decide to input a name in.
The godsâ names are constructed-language based, which is why thereâs a connection between Orihark and Harja.
Iâll add it!