Loved it! Very well written and intriguing as well.
I am not a native speaker either but shouldn’t “looked to be Arabic” be in present tense?
I am not a native speaker either but shouldn’t “looked to be Arabic” be in present tense?
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Oh, true, I will fix that! Thanks!
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I have read new update it good read most cool part main are choice you have attack or not
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Problem solved on that front x)
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I hope you are staying safe
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My and my loved ones are all healthy and safe, thank you!
I hope the same is true for you 
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Ohoho!
Things are getting interesting! Love your update 
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Fixed! Thank you! 
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Your welcome
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This is interesting. I hope you don’t lose momentum and carry on writing!
Was it inspired by Supernatural by the way? It reminds me of the show.
One thing though, it’s odd that MC trusts and depends on the non humans so soon. If I was raised as a hunter, my first thought after waking up in that unfamiliar place under the care of supernaturals, one that seems afraid of looking me in the eye would be that they thought they were helping the demon (most likely under duress) and didn’t know the human woke up. And even if I did think they saved me knowing I was human, I would still be intensely suspicious of their motives. I certainly would not warm up to them so soon.
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You can choose not to trust them and you can even try to attack them in the demo
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Since our last name is well known amongst supernatural shouldn’t we have the option to provide a fake name when asked? It’s a much more sensible response.
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You haven’t mentioned the “depending” part, so that part of my question goes unanswered. Why trust them enough to ask for help? Why not just run as fast as you can and try to make it out of the city? If that’s impossible, mention it in the game so the player knows, because the player doesn’t know anything about this city except for the things you wrote.
And even If the player has no choice but to ask for help, why tell the strangers the whole story? Why not just ask them to drop them out of the city?
And as the other commenter pointed out, revealing your real name is a sign of blatant trust.
Also, there’s no option to be outwardly neutral and inwardly wary/hostile, which is the reaction that makes the most sense to a person in that position.
ex1:
#My eyes widen in surprise, but I stop myself from saying anything.
He doesn’t trust your reaction. He should. You don’t want to harm him or Lupita.
The one option that lets you not attack immediately is also an option that describes it in a way that you don’t plan to attack in the future as well. That is, there’s no option where you don’t act rashly and instead plan to attack at a more opportune time.
ex2:
#I keep quiet but don’t shrug her off either.
“You’ll be alright,” she promises with confidence.
You nod, a slight smile on your lips when a sudden pinging sound distracts you.
It makes sense for a very wary MC to try and not to antagonise the supernatural strangers, i.e. “I shrug her off and glare at her.”.
Only, this option implies that you’re comforted by her reassurance rather than hiding hostility. To read that sentence is highly disorienting for a player who expected complete nuetrality.
.
The main issue comes from the confusion where the player doesn’t know what you seem to assume they know? For example, why did Elian save you? Did he save you knowing you’re human or did he save you while he thought you were a demon? These are questions MC doesn’t know, but the story seems to take for granted that MC thinks Elian saved them knowing they are human.
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Oh boy, let’s see if we can unpack some of this…
Nope. At least not consciously. I see where you come from, though. The show’s been running for far too long not to think about it whenever ‘family’ ‘hunters’ and ‘supernaturals’ are mentioned in one sentence. But I can guarantee: No moms on ceilings, no road trips, no yellow-eyed demons, and no angels in trench coats 
Okay… I see where I went wrong there. I made the mistake of not telling you how little the hunters actually know about supernatural society and day to day life. As a rule of thumb, they don’t talk to supernaturals and don’t typically introduce themselves by name. What they know they learned through trial and error and is mostly revolving about their abilities, appearance, and vulnerabilities, aka: how to best kill a lot of things without getting killed yourself.
Buut I’ve added it to my edits (not yet uploaded), and you will have more variety there (not telling a name, giving a wrong name, giving your real name and regret it or not, with an appropriate reaction to the fact that, yes they know who your family is)
Sorry about that misunderstanding ^^’ and thank you for pointing it out to me!
@Sel_Lee’s long and detailed feedback regarding choice variety:
Due to me having a wonderful 20/20 hindsight vision and not much else, I’m actually ahead of you and already finished those branches off in my second edit of chapter 1.
It’s not yet uploaded because I wanted to wait with that till I upload part 1 of chapter two, but I get the feeling I should maybe do that sooner to give a more appropriate look into the current gameplay feeling…
As for Elian… I had to chuckle a bit at that tbh, but I know more about him and his intentions, of course
But I will tell you this: Supernaturals can very easily pick each other out and identify each other. Even those that need a human host to move around.
I think the glossar will come in handy once I get around to it ^^’
A big thanks for the detailed feedback, I hope I could clear it up a bit, and you will find a suitable path for you when I upload the edits!
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Another sunday update 
Lots of small things happened this week. Chapter one was posted and immediately edited. I just uploaded the second, bigger update to chapter one because I feel it adds a much more appropriate look into choices and reactions. I hope to be able to stick to this in future chapters.
The Hunt has now also a subtitle! Originally “The Hunt” was only the working title, but it feels fitting enough for the overall thing; in addition, it’s now “The Hunt: Demon Eyes.” Feels ominous enough I hope x)
Because of that I re-uploaded the game on dashingdon, but that should be alright with all the changes I made to ch1 anyway. Links are already updated!
As mentioned yesterday, I made a FAQ, which will be added to when there are some more repeated questions from you guys, and I started on a small character page, which I will make accessible once I’m happy with it ^^ (I might use the character art I commissioned there, I got to see the Elian sketch yesterday, and he looks as adorable as I imagined <33).
I got a detailed outline for chapter 2 done, and not much else. It’s currently a bit chaotic at home, but meeting Bas/Xiuying is now officially set there. That leads me actually to a question for all of you!
Whose branch should I work on first?
Bas or Xiuying?
And before I forget it: a fun little event if anyone is interested!
Tomorrow on the 13th of April , is Elian’s birthday!
Feel free to drop into my tumblr inbox and bury him with questions and good wishes All asks directed at him will be answered by the man himself 
- Bas’ branch first
- Xiuying branch first
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I actually have a question! It seems like there’s some options to be trans as far as I can see? But the way the options are written, makes it kinda hard to understand what to pick in order to be either a trans man, or trans woman. That is assuming I’m not just misunderstanding those options entirely x3 Say for trans woman, is it as simple as picking female and then the secondary option and the opposite for trans men? Or do you need to pick the opposite sex, and then pick the trans option to get the desired effect? Hope it isn’t too much trouble for you to clarify it though, hehe.
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It’s no trouble at all!
I’m not trans myself so having things like that pointed out is very important to me.
The first choice #The face of a man/#The face of a woman/#The face of a person
sets the gender you chose to present as.
If you chose man/woman you get to chose either #I can’t help but wonder if it at least made the body fit into who I am. Or if it is stuck in the one, I was born with. Just like I am.
which would mark you as trans or to chose #I hate to admit it, but aside from the eyes, it’s perfectly identical to me.
which marks you as cis.
There is probably a much more elegant way to phrase this or maybe it would be better to make a note of it in the choice like [You are trans] on the second choice… 
Anyway, I do hope that clears it up for now!
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Thanks! That’s good to hear clarified :3 It was just the phrasing of “I can’t help but wonder if it at least made the body fit into who I am. Or if it is stuck in the one, I was born with. Just like I am” which made me doubt whether to pick the opposite sex or not at the first choice. Thanks for taking the time to clarify the situation for my dense little brain 
But yeah, maybe marking them something like this at the end for clarification would be good :3 [You are a trans woman] & [You are a trans man] It’s up to you though, it’s your book after all :3
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Nah the phrasing was weird either way
I added a little note of [You are a trans man/woman] for now but will see if I can get a nicer phrasing in general when I get into editing.
Wouldn’t want people to get confused because my English is weird haha
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