The chronicles of second chance, book one. New files uploaded, 08/16/2023

Lol, sorry i though i had read somewhere that it wasn’t your first language

More content has been added. You actualy get to meet the Pack now! Sort of?

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OK, after some re-working and alterations, the newly named “Chronicles of Second Chance,” is up and updated. Stats look good, relationship_calc looks good and the book as a hole looks good. As before, please send any errors to me so I can have a look and fix them. Also please no screanshots if possible as I can’t really use them. Apart from that, I hope that you enjoy the story, and yeah. Please send me your thoughts on it.
Also, I do need to put in a save system, so that should come in the next week or so.

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@ArchivistAlpha096

Sorry, didnt see the no screenshot message. startup line 1277: non-existent variable ‘mc_hight’. Ps. Height not hight.

That should be fixed now. Thanks for telling me though,!

I thought I got all of those, but forgot about the set variables and little descriptions in those choices.

Trying to give feedback without screenshots is going to be a struggle and a half. Especially trying to explain how something should be upper or lower case. Letting those go, there are still a lot of run on/awkward sentences that would be better served as paragraphs instead. It makes for very painful reading. The use of numerals instead of having the numbers written is off putting.
Some general spelling:
Bipedal, not by-pedal
Dammit or damn it, not dam it
Pair, not pare
Hear, not here
they’re/they are, not there, not energetic. Speaking of, energetic is an adjective and is awkward in that sentence. Not entirely sure what your goal was in it’s use.
Scarred, not scared unless you meant she was terrified.
Its for the doorframe not it’s. The door is possessive of the frame.

Unfortunately I couldn’t take it anymore and had to stop. There is just a lot that needs work. As of now, I just cannot read it. Sorry. I’m sure the concept is interesting. The issues make it too hard to get to the concept. At least for me.

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Who’s the RO options again?

Hey, have you tried using CSIDE? It’s a very good resource to help with typos and bugs. Your premise is interesting, and I think this would help to polish it :+1:t5:

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Respectfully, you should run your game through Grammarly. The amount of mistakes is so overwhelming it’s almost impossible to read.

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I suggest you run the game through quick test. It is riddled with bugs.

You also desperately need a lot of polishing. It is filled to the absolute brim with mistakes and more. Enough to ruin the experience, completely. Re-read, re-read, re-read, and it will be completely different, in a good way.

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Every time i chose the hair color it says error.

Can you tell me what choice gives you that? I have run through all the haircolor choices, and it doesn’t on my end.

All of them.

I chose midnight black hair and got the following error- startup line 1222: invalid indent, expected at least one line in ‘if’ true block

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Hi, first of all I really like your story’s premise. With works of editing it could become an awesome story :D. The main issue though, like others have said, are within the texts (grammar, words, punctuation, etc.), so it really affects the story. I think rather than using Grammarly/other spellcheckers, it’s better to have at least one editor since it would be more effective to check for errors/typos/etc., especially for the coding parts.

Ohh also, I encountered an error at the flight scene, when choosing one of choices available after this paragraph:

“O.” The voice says. “Here, give me a second. Need to take 1 hand off your shoulder so I can stop your legs from freezing anymore than they already are, you good with that?”

I tried choosing every choices, but every time I choose one it keeps looping back to the same page

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Let us try this once again, shall we?
Once again, please post about any mistakes so that I can then fix them.

I looks good, but there are a lot of grammatical errors. I’d recommend using Grammarly, or some other grammar site. They don’t get all the mistakes, but they get all the big ones. It’s free and it’s easy to use

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