The Hidden Sanctum by Dariel Ivalyen (WIP)

Don’t worry about it too much. It should be out by Wednesday! (April 6)

Will do!

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Hi guys! My Patreon page is finally up. I added the link to the main post, so if you want to check it out, look for it there.

When you become a patron, you’ll get access to:

  • Weekly updates on my progress, more detailed than the ones I post on Tumblr. Some will include teasers.
  • All kinds of polls.
  • In-depth posts about lore (magic, religion, geography, history, etc.)
  • Twine short stories and mini-games.
  • The Hidden Sanctum Alpha Build (AB will include Ch. 5-10). (Min. 30k new words per month.)
  • Personalized short stories with your MC and one of the ROs. (Two highest tiers, limited number of spots.)
  • Access to other Alpha Builds when they come out (The Alchemist, ChoS).

There will be some other things (maps, extra content for the game), and you can read about them in the goals, right below “About Dariel Ivalyen” on Patreon.

From other news, I think the rest of Chapter 4 should be up by April 15, 2022. As I said many times before, this will be the last chapter available in the open beta.

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I finally got around to playing this one. And I love it! Luck is the most fun! But I find sound to be the most interesting!

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@Shadyaddams Thank you! I’m glad you’re enjoying the paths, and let’s hope they only keep getting better and more interesting! :yellow_heart:

Speaking of soul paths, I think it’s time to vote on your favorite path. I’ve mentioned that this poll was coming a few weeks ago, and it’s finally here.

You have only one vote per person, as I’d like to see how popular each path is.

Also, if you have any particular comments related to paths, please, leave them below. I’d love to read them! Suggestions and questions are welcome, too! :yellow_heart:

Pick your favorite soul path!
  • Sun
  • Mind
  • Sound
  • Ice
  • Mischief

0 voters

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im just curious when we pick how our power will appear on our body why does every body part have a stat connected to it you know like hair for charm tattoos for protection will thet impact gameplay at all

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@pixie124 Hi Pixie! The stats will be mostly for flavor, so you can pick whatever looks or feels best for you. Unlike in Temple of Endless Night, there are no skill stats in The Hidden Sanctum (other than your path and the path’s ‘gentleness’). These stats you mention might be used in a couple of situations, but you won’t fail anything because of them. You might just get some extra info thanks to them. (Magical eyes can give you an extra paragraph because your perception is slightly higher.)

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Changelog
April 6, 2022

  • Added the last path event (Ice). (ca. 6100 words)
  • Added some missing info to the other path events. (In the brackets, when you choose how your power is supposed to manifest.)

Also, this update brings the total number of words to 200.000! :yellow_heart:

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So, I loved this Wip. It has it all. Good magic system, good characters, good plot,it’s perfect.

I’m curious to see what happens next.

P.S sorry for the stupid question but I have to ask it: can someone explain this open alpha thing to me? I didn’t understand it

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@ELEONORA_Di_grado Thank you so much for these kind words! I’m glad you enjoyed the demo and that you’re excited about the rest of the story. :yellow_heart:

Let me explain all these alpha and beta things. Basically, there are three terms I usually use when I talk about the game: open beta, closed beta, and alpha build.

The open beta is the demo version of the game available here (main post). It will end with Chapter 4, but it will remain available to everyone until the game comes out. The closed beta will happen when the game is finished, but it’ll only be available to around 10 people in exchange for feedback.

The alpha build is a version of the game that is available on Patreon and will be updated with Chapters 5-10. The final version of the alpha build will be the same (in terms of content) as the closed beta.

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Finally thank u. Now I can use my favourite power ice and complete it’s path

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Can I just say, damn, this is good slow clap I’m really enjoying it, on my third playthrough now. The story premise is great, I mean, magic AND robots??? Come on! It’s crazy and I LOVE it. The characters are engaging and can I just say Vivaldi for Sky chef kiss Definitely supporting you in this endeavor. Oh, one final thing, ahem…

MISCHIEF FOR LIFE!!! :butterfly: :rainbow: :sparkles:

Edit: Oh, also checked out that Artbreeder website, THANK YOU! It’s great and perfect for my current project, some of those settings though, talk about nightmare fuel!

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@Kitty_Gaige Thank you so much! Third playthrough? Woah, that’s amazing. I’m glad to hear that, and I hope the replayability is there (especially with the paths). I like Mischief, too, and I have to say working on that path is always a LOT of fun.

Yeah, magic and robots. Personally, I’m more of a magic, staves, and dragons kinda guy, but this weird combo kind of just came to me, and I knew it was meant to be. There’s a lot more coming, but I can’t say anything because of spoilers… :smile:

Vivaldi was definitely a choice, but I’m happy to hear that it makes sense. Also, thank you for your support. I truly appreciate it!

As for Artbreeder, it’s just amazing, and I should be using it even more often! :blush: Oh, and good luck with your project!

Thanks! I just needed to delete an exclamation mark. :smiley: Since it’s a small thing, I’ll add it to the demo with the next update.

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@Dariel Oop, I did find this little issue, k not issue but still. Make up your mind Odyss, am I a girl or not??



Dont know why its being all big n shit

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Changelog
April 14, 2022

  • Added the rest of Chapter 4 (ca. 14.000 words). You can now sneak out with your RO (or friend) and experience the last scenes available in the open beta! I’d be grateful if you could tell me how these last few scenes feel. Is the progression okay?
  • Turned all [Flirt] tags into [Romance] tags.
  • Added Minjoon’s portrait to the main post.
  • This is the last content update for the open beta! I’ll keep making smaller updates, but they will mostly add cosmetic changes (character customization, new dialogue options, perhaps an extra scene or two).
  • Chapters 5-10 will be available in the Alpha Build (link above). I’ll start working on Chapter 5 this Monday (April 18, 2022).
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Changelog
April 15, 2022

  • Added character customization (hair color, hair length, eye color, skin tone).
  • Added a couple of lines about your physical appearance on the stat screen, below your major.
  • Edit: Integrated hair and eye color changes that might happen during solitary training.
  • Deleted the vigor stat.
  • Broke a large block of text in the prologue (>1200 words) with a flavor choice. I’ll slowly revise the prologue and the first chapter to get rid of these large blocks. Chapters 2-4 don’t really have them anymore.
  • Added two new entries to the Glossary.
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…well im not sure if that was asked but is Ra … romanceable?:point_right::point_left:

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Hey! I really like this WiP! The world and plot seem very interesting so far I am having lots of fun. The only slightly negative thing I noticed (for my personal taste at least) is that sometimes the dialouge seems a bit forced. There are often lines if dialouge which are cool but then are ruined because the character just keeps going on and explains what they just implied. I think in some cases “show dont tell” applies. If you want I can give you an example if this was not clear enough. But like I said this is only personal feedback I dont mean to say that my opinion is in any way real critic because the WiP is amazin.

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@XaosMinion Sorry, but he’s not. He’s not really a person, and he’ll be too important for the main story in the next two volumes. Still, I appreciate your interest! :smile:

@Bizimo Hi there! I’m glad you’re enjoying the game. I think I know what you’re talking about, and I agree that I do have this tendency to write too much (when it’s not needed). Sometimes less is more, but I suppose I’m still in the process of learning that…

Were there any instances where this issue was particularly bad? If you show me some of them (maybe with screenshots?), I’ll try to take care of them as soon as possible! I’ll also keep the issue in mind for when the game is finished, and it’ll be time to edit it. :yellow_heart:

I’ll make sure to add another option with the next update, then! (Unless I forget, but it’s not very likely.) A playful option that believes her. Got it. It actually makes sense, so this is a very good type of feedback. Thanks!

I love Sephtis and Marco, too. I mean… they’re all my kids. :smile:

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…oh that a shame. Well I guess i should be happy with Marco!

I do have a little uh issue? Like in the prologue then Sephtis tell you Legion is coming, all the choices are doubtful of her. The only one that believes her is the serios answer. But what if I want a playful character who believes her? I know its not a big issue, but i was just thinking.

Anyway I love Sephtis like a sister and Im ready to beat anyone who insults her (looking at you Marco, Odyss)

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example one

In this example I personally think the first line sounds epic and mysterious. But the “This is all wrong. He is wrong[…]” part kind of feels too much. I think the message was already conveyed


If you still want the reader to know how something is wrong and that Odyss knows it in this second part you already mention it. You could just add the “And he knows it” after “there is something wrong with him”
also the “[…] but I… know things.” sounds a bit weird too. She already said it a few times at this point if I remember correctly. Maybe she could say instead “but I… am sure of it” or “but I… have a certain knowledge about this kind of stuff”. I am not sure here because I am not a writer and I obviously not know what you want the express exactly. I just think “I know things” sounds a bit weird.

so here is my proposal

Instead of backing down, Sephtis reaches for your hand and points to Odyss, totally ignoring Sky’s question. “Death was cheated today, and such a toll will have to be paid in the future.”

[…]

She thinks on this for a while, before letting out a resigned sigh and turning around to face you. “I did say that, and it was the truth, but…this is different. I know you think I am just some child, and maybe I am, but I…am sure of it.” She hesitates, her hand still pointed at Odyss. “There is something wrong with him and he knows it. I think death is mad at him. I do not know why.”

example two


This once again feels like it is a great scene but it feels a bit too forced. Normally people dont go around and express their feelings and thoughts towards a certain thing so explicitly. This sounds like an inner monolouge a character could have which was accidentally broadcasted to the others. A simple “I don’t get it. Whats up with this girl? I certainly don’t want to follow the words of a someone who is probably not even ten or eleven”

But those are really nitpicks. I love your work so far so keep it up! And I want to remind you that I am not even an author so my advice might be jumbo trash. Given that I am the only one saying it maybe it is just me so dont put too much value in my opinion on this particular issue.

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